The best jokes about men

A woman’s husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she stayed by his bedside every single day. When he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he said, “You know what? You have been with me all through the bad times. When I got fired, you were there to support me. When my business failed, you were there. When I got shot, you were by my side. When we lost the house, you gave me support. When my health started failing, you were still by my side… You know what?” “What dear?” She asked gently. “I think you bring me bad luck.”
Vote: has 68.73 % from 49 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: business, health, husband, men
Three men are sitting naked in the sauna. Suddenly there is a beeping sound. The first man presses his forearm and the beeping stops. The others look at him questioningly. "That's my pager," he says. "I have a microchip under the skin of my arm." A few minutes later a phone rings. The second man lifts his palm to his ear. When he finishes he explains, "That's my mobile phone. I have a microchip in my hand." The third man, feeling decidedly low-tech, steps out of the sauna. In a few minutes he returns with a piece of toilet paper extending from his rear. The others raise their eyebrows. "I'm getting a fax," he explains.
Vote: has 68.63 % from 29 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men, phone, technology
Hi, I see that you're new to this gym, and I wanna be the first male to bother you.
Vote: has 68.63 % from 29 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: flirt, gym, men
Q: What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? A: Snowballs.
Vote: has 68.56 % from 37 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, men, winter, women
Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
Vote: has 68.56 % from 37 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, life, men, morbid, time
Statistics say that women think they are smarter than men because they can fake orgasms. Men say "Big deal. We can fake a whole relationship just for a shag."
Vote: has 68.45 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
A man visits his doctor with celery stalks stuck in each ear and a carrot stick up each nostril. He mumbles, "Doc, I'm just not feeling well." The doctor replies, "Maybe you're not eating right."
Vote: has 68.45 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: doctor, food, men
A man goes to the doctor with a piece of lettuce dangling from his rectum. "That looks nasty," says the doctor. "Nasty?" the man says. "That's just the tip of the iceberg."
Vote: has 68.45 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: doctor, men
Husband says: "When I'm gone you'll never find another man like me". Wife replied: "What makes you think I'd want another man like you!"
Vote: has 68.45 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: communication, husband, mean, men, wife
A man and a woman are lying in bed, watching the ceiling and keep quiet. What are they thinking? The woman thinks, "He keeps quiet. He doesn’t want to talk. May be he’s get tired of me. He doesn’t love me anymore. He’s probably got someone else. I see. We’ll have to separate each other." The man thinks, "A fly. A fly on the ceiling. Wow! How keep it there and don’t fall?"
Vote: has 68.29 % from 67 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, love, men, women