Woman to her husband while at it: "Please say dirty things to me!" Man: "Bath, Kitchen, Living room..."
What's the Australian Male's idea of foreplay? "Brace yourself, Sheila."
One day Dan asks Bob, "So Bob what did you get for Christmas?" Then Bob says to Dan, "Oh see that brand new red Ferrari outside?" Dan says, "OOOOH WOW! Bob says, "Ya, I got the same exact color tie!"
Q: How many men does it take to screw in a light bulb? A: One. Men will screw anything.
When you have a man staring at a naked Playboy model, be sure that he doesn’t wonder if she knows cooking, or if she plays piano or if she has a nice personality either!
If you catch a man…throw him back.
What is a man's idea of foreplay? A half hour of begging.
What do you have when you have two little balls in your hand? A man's undivided attention.
How can you tell the difference between men's real gifts and their guilt gifts? Guilt gifts are nicer.
If Men Ruled the World... Laws: Lifeguards could remove citizens from beaches for violating the "public ugliness" ordinance. Car rental agencies would rent tanks. Telephones would automatically cut off after 30 seconds of conversation. It would be perfectly legal to steal a sports car as long as you returned it within 24 hours with a full tank of gas. Get Out of Jail Free cards would be considered legal documents.