Boy: "Hi, my name is Milk. I'll do your body good." Girl: "Sorry, I'm Lactose intolerant!"
Doc, says Steve, "I want to be castrated." "What on Earth for?" "It's something I've been thinking about for a long time. If you don't do it, I'll just go to another doctor." "OK, but it's against my better judgment." Steve has his operation. The next day he walks down the hospital corridor very slowly, legs apart, with his drip stand. Heading toward him is another patient walking exactly the same way. "Hi there," says Steve, "It looks as if you've just had the same operation as me." "Yeah," says the patient, "I finally decided I'd like to be circumcised." Steve's eyes widen in horror, "Oh no! That's the word!"
Men are born between the legs of women and spend all their life trying to get back between them. Why? Theres no place like home ...
Why do women make better soldiers? Because they can bleed for a week and not die.
Every man thinks he's a dream of every woman. Sorry guys, but the dream of every woman is eating all the time and not to get fat.
Three guys are at a restaurant, all with their girlfriends. The first guy, thinking he is all suave, says to his girlfriend, "Could you pass me the honey?...Honey." Now, the second guy, copying the first, says to his girlfriend, "Could you pass me the sugar?...Sugar." So now, the third guy is under pressure. He has to come up with something good. After, a minute of thinking he says to his girlfriend, "Pass me the pork...pig."
There was an ad in the newspaper: An agriculturist looks for a woman with a tractor. The photo of the tractor is required.
A boyfriend asks his girlfriend: "What gift would you like to receive during the St. Valentine's Day?" "Well, I don't know" she answers shyly. "OK, that I give you another year to think about it…"
A man visits his doctor with celery stalks stuck in each ear and a carrot stick up each nostril. He mumbles, "Doc, I'm just not feeling well." The doctor replies, "Maybe you're not eating right."
Dad: Hey son want to hear a joke? Son: Yeah! Dad: Pussy. Son: I don't get it. Dad: Exactly...