The best jokes about men

Man: "How do you like your eggs in the morning?" Woman: "Unfertilized."
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has 66.68 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: food, men, sex, women
A man consulted his priest about getting a divorce. The priest was surprised. "Why on earth would you want to divorce such a lovely wife? She is soft and gentle and, if I may say so, she is also quite beautiful and nicely proportioned. I really can’t see what you have to complain about." The man took off his shoe. "See this shoe," he said, showing it to the priest, "The leather is soft and gentle. It is a beautiful piece of work and nicely proportioned." "Ah"” said the priest, "a parable." "In a way, Father," replied the man. "I’m the only one who knows it pinches."
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has 66.64 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: divorce, love, men, priest, wife
A man visits his doctor with celery stalks stuck in each ear and a carrot stick up each nostril. He mumbles, "Doc, I'm just not feeling well." The doctor replies, "Maybe you're not eating right."
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has 66.60 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: doctor, food, men
After spending 20 minutes trying to get my wife's bra off, I decided to give up, I wish I'd never put it on now.
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has 66.60 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: men, wife
There is a beautiful desert island in the middle of nowhere where the following people are stranded: 2 Italian men and 1 Italian woman 2 French men and 1 French woman 2 German men and 1 German woman 2 Greek men and 1 Greek woman 2 English men and 1 English woman 2 Macedonian men and 1 Macedonian woman. One month later on this beautiful desert island in the middle of nowhere... The first Italian man killed the other for the Italian woman. The 2 French men and the French woman are living happily together in a "menage a trois". The 2 German men have a strict weekly schedule of when they alternate with the German woman. The 2 Greek men are sleeping with each other and the Greek woman is cleaning and cooking for them. The 2 English men are waiting for someone to introduce them to the English woman. The Macedonian men took one look at the endless ocean, one look at the Macedonian woman and started swimming.
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has 66.49 % from 274 votes. More jokes about: desert island, ethnic, men, women
How can you tell the difference between men's real gifts and their guilt gifts? Guilt gifts are nicer.
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has 66.46 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: men
Any married man should forget his mistakes, there's no use in two people remembering the same thing.
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has 66.46 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: men
"I can't wait for Father's Day" said no man ever.
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has 66.45 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: Fathers day, men
A man is driving up a steep, narrow mountain road. A woman is driving down the same road. As they pass each other, the woman leans out of the window and yells "PIG!" The man immediately leans out of his window and replies, "BITCH!" They each continue on their way, and ... as the man rounds the next corner, he crashes into a pig in the middle of the road ... and dies immediately. If only men would listen...
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has 66.09 % from 76 votes. More jokes about: animal, car, men, women
Why do women make better soldiers? Because they can bleed for a week and not die.
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has 65.83 % from 72 votes. More jokes about: death, men, military, women
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