The best jokes about men

Why do women make better soldiers? Because they can bleed for a week and not die.
Vote: has 66.21 % from 45 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: death, men, military, women
God gave man his penis and his brain but blood only enough to work one another at a time.
Vote: has 66.10 % from 34 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: god, men, work
Hi, I see that you're new to this gym, and I wanna be the first male to bother you.
Vote: has 66.10 % from 34 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: flirt, gym, men
Q: What would men do if they had breasts? A: They'd stay at home and play with them all day.
Vote: has 65.48 % from 26 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: men
Alex an Aussie builder was going through a house he had just built for the woman who owned it. She was telling him what colour to paint each room. They went into the first room and she said "I want this room to be painted a light blue." The builder went to the front door and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!"  When he went back into the house, she told him that the next room was to be bright red. The builder went to the front door and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!"  When he went back into the house, she told him that the next room was to be tan. The builder went to the front door and yelled "GREEN SIDE UP!"  When he came back, the lady was pretty curious, so she asked him "I keep telling you colours, but you go out the front and yell 'green side up' - what is that for?" The builder said, "Oh don't worry about that, I've just got a couple of Kiwi's laying the turf out front."
Vote: has 65.16 % from 22 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: men, women, work
Why do men ask for a woman's hand in marriage? Because they are tired of using their own.
Vote: has 64.88 % from 18 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: marriage, men, women
How are men and parking spots alike? The good ones are always taken and the ones that are left are handicapped.
Vote: has 64.88 % from 18 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: men
This man was talking to a group of men at a bar and he said, "In my house I am the boss, I say when the laundry is done and when the cooking is made and when the dishes are washed." One of the guys at the table said, "How long have you been married?" The man says, "Oh I'm not married I'm single!"
Vote: has 64.88 % from 18 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: men
A man was digging a ditch, when he uncovered a lamp. When he brushed it off, a genie popped out, and said "To show my gratitude for releasing me, I'll grant you one wish.." The man thought for a second, reached into his pocket, pulled out a map of the world, pointed to the Middle-East, and replied "I want you to bring peace to this area." "Ooooh...I'm so sorry, that's impossible" said the genie. "There's absolutely no way I could accomplish such a great feat, so you'll have to choose another wish..." The man then said "Well...then how about having my wife give me oral-sex voluntarily...?" The genie thought for a minute, then said "Can I see that map again..?"
Vote: has 64.88 % from 18 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: men
What is a "successful hunting trip"? When three men kill 9 cases of Budweiser in two days
Vote: has 64.88 % from 18 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: beer, hunting, men


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