After an accident...
1st Driver : I flashed the headlights and told you to let me go first.
2nd Driver : I also started the wipers and said NO NO...
I just had an argument with a girl I know.
She was saying how that it's unfair that if a guy fucks a different girl every week, he's a legend, but if a girl fucks just two guys in a year, she's a slut.
So in response, I told her that if a key opens lots of locks, then it's a master key.
But if a lock is opened by lots of keys, then it's a shitty lock.
That shut her up.
MEN Vs WOMEN
1. MEN discovered COLOURS and invented PAINT. WOMEN discovered paint and invented makeup.
2. Men discovered word and invented conversation. Women discovered conversation and invented gossip.
3. Men discovered gambling and invented cards. Women discovered cards and invented Witchery.
4. Men discovered trading and invented money. Women discovered money and invented shopping. There after Men have discovered and invented lots of things while Women STUCK TO SHOPPING.
Girl: "Girls are better than boys."
Boy: "Then why did God make boys first?"
Girl: "Duh, you have to have a rough draft before the final copy."
A man has came over to his wife in a request.
She tells him to tie her to a bed and do whatever he wants.
3 hours later he is fucking hookers and watching football and porn with friend.
"It's a boy," I shouted, as tears began to roll down my cheeks.
"I can't believe it, it really is a boy."
That's when I swore never to return to Thailand.
God gave man his penis and his brain but blood only enough to work one another at a time.
A real man would never cry in public unless:
He watched a movie in which a heroic dog dies to save his master.
Or if Heidi klum unbuckled her shirt.
Or if he accidentally dropped crates full of beer.
Q: What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman?
A: Snowballs.
Q: What would men do if they had breasts?
A: They'd stay at home and play with them all day.