The best jokes about men

If Men Ruled the World... Laws: Lifeguards could remove citizens from beaches for violating the "public ugliness" ordinance. Car rental agencies would rent tanks. Telephones would automatically cut off after 30 seconds of conversation. It would be perfectly legal to steal a sports car as long as you returned it within 24 hours with a full tank of gas. Get Out of Jail Free cards would be considered legal documents.
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has 66.45 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: men
After an accident... 1st Driver : I flashed the headlights and told you to let me go first. 2nd Driver : I also started the wipers and said NO NO...
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has 66.45 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: men
This man was talking to a group of men at a bar and he said, "In my house I am the boss, I say when the laundry is done and when the cooking is made and when the dishes are washed." One of the guys at the table said, "How long have you been married?" The man says, "Oh I'm not married I'm single!"
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has 66.45 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: men
A boyfriend asks his girlfriend: "What gift would you like to receive during the St. Valentine's Day?" "Well, I don't know" she answers shyly. "OK, that I give you another year to think about it…"
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has 66.16 % from 52 votes. More jokes about: men, relationship, time, Valentines day
What do you do with a bachelor who thinks he's God's gift to women? Exchange him.
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has 66.10 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: god, men, women
A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking a round with a fly swatter. "What are you doing?" she asked. "Hunting flies," He responded. "Oh, killing any?" She asked. "Yep, three males, two females," he replied. Intrigued, she asked, How can you tell? He responded, "Three were on a beer can, two were on the phone."
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has 66.10 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: animal, beer, men, phone, women
Boy: "You know unlike all these other guys, I can make you really happy" Girl: "Why are you leaving?"
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has 65.86 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: flirt, mean, men, women
It's Halloween and when the man answers his door, there's a well-dressed young boy there wearing a suit and matching tie, who says "Trick or treat". The man's a bit confused so he asks the boy what he's dressed up as. "I'm an IRS agent", says the boy, and with that, he snatches 40% of the candy, and leaves without saying thank you.
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has 65.86 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: accountant, Halloween, kids, mean, men
Q: What is the difference between a snowman and a snowwoman? A: Snowballs.
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has 65.63 % from 58 votes. More jokes about: dirty, men, winter, women
A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blond female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it then slammed it shut and stormed back in the house. A little later she came out and again went to the mail box, opened it and slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went. As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came out again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever. Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, "Is something wrong?" she replied, "There certainly is! My stupid computer keeps saying, 'YOU'VE GOT MAIL.'"
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has 65.52 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: blonde, computer, men, stupid
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