The best jokes about men

Men are born between the legs of women and spend all their life trying to get back between them. Why? Theres no place like home ...
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More jokes about: life, men, women
A nude guy was sunbathing at the beach, a little girl comes to him, he covers his private parts with a newspaper. The little girl asks, "hats under there?" So the man answers , "A bird..." The girl goes away & the man falls asleep. When he wakes up, he finds himself in a hospital & in alot of pain. A doctor comes up to his bed & asks, 'What happened?' The man answers, "I don't know. I was at the beach & fell asleep after talking to a little girl." So the doctor tells this to the Police, and they go to the beach to find any witnesses. When they got there, they see the little girl the man was talking about. So they ask her if she did anything to the man...? She answers, "I din't do anything to the man, but he was sleeping, I played with his bird, After a while, it spat at me, so i broke its neck, burnt its nest, and smashed all its eggs!"
Vote: has 63.22 % from 31 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, cop, doctor, men
A young woman buys a mirror at an antique shop, and hangs it on her bathroom door. One evening, while getting undressed, she playfully says, "Mirror, mirror, on my door, make my bustline forty four". Instantly, there is a brilliant flash of light, and her breasts grow to enormous proportions. Excitedly, she runs to tell her husband what happened, and in minutes they both return. This time the husband crosses his fingers and says "Mirror, mirror on the door, make my penis touch the floor!". Again, there's a bright flash...and his legs fell off.
Vote: has 63.17 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
A woman didn't come home one night. The next morning she told her husband that she had slept over at a friend's house. The man called his wife's 10 best friends. None of them knew anything about it. A man didn't come home 1 night. The next morning he told his wife that he had slept over at a friends house. The wife called her husband's 10 best friends. 8 of them confirmed that he had slept over and 2 said he was still there.
Vote: has 63.17 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: husband, men, wife
What is a "successful hunting trip"? When three men kill 9 cases of Budweiser in two days
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More jokes about: beer, hunting, men
How can you tell if a novel is homosexual? The hero always gets his man in the end.
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More jokes about: men
Men are like.....Bank Machines. Once they withdraw they lose interest.
Vote: has 62.88 % from 34 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
What's the difference between Big Foot and an intelligent man? Big Foot's been spotted several times.
Vote: has 62.63 % from 37 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men
Why didn't the husband change the baby for a week? Because the text on the nappies package said "18-40 lbs".
Vote: has 62.61 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, husband, men
I only wanted to have a child, not marry one.
Vote: has 62.61 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: marriage, men