How do some men define Roe vs. Wade?
Two ways to cross a river.
There was an ad in the newspaper:
An agriculturist looks for a woman with a tractor.
The photo of the tractor is required.
A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking a round with a fly swatter.
"What are you doing?" she asked.
"Hunting flies," He responded.
"Oh, killing any?" She asked.
"Yep, three males, two females," he replied.
Intrigued, she asked, How can you tell?
He responded, "Three were on a beer can, two were on the phone."
Two young men who had just graduated from university climbed into a taxi wearing their graduation gowns.
"Are you graduates from the city university?" asked the cab driver.
"Yes, sir," they announced proudly. "Class of "99."
The cabbie extended his hand. "Class of "67."
Vote:
Wife: "I have to tell you something. I'm pregnant."
Husband: "Hi Pregnant, I'm Dad."
Wife: "No, you are not."
Two elephants meet a totally naked guy. After a while one elephant says to the other: "I really don't get how he can feed himself with that thing!"
Why did God create man?
Because a vibrator can't mow the lawn.
A man and a woman started to have sex in the middle of a dark forest.
After about 15 minutes of it, the man finally gets up and says, "Damn, I wish I had a flashlight!".
The woman says, "Me too, you've been eating grass for the past ten minutes!"
Q: Why did they make glow in the dark condoms?
A: So gay guys can play star wars.
A foursome is waiting at the men's tee when another foursome of ladies are hitting from the ladies tee.
The ladies are taking their time and when finally the last one is ready to hit the ball she hacks it about 10 feet, goes over to it, hacks it another ten feet and looks up at the men waiting and says apologetically "I guess all those fucking lessons I took this winter didn't help."
One of the men immediately replies, "No, you see that's your problem. You should have been taking golf lessons instead."