The best jokes about men

In politics, if you want anything said, ask a man; if you want anything done, ask a woman.
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has 65.80 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: communication, men, political, women
A man was in his front yard mowing grass when his attractive blond female neighbor came out of the house and went straight to the mailbox. She opened it then slammed it shut and stormed back in the house. A little later she came out and again went to the mail box, opened it and slammed it shut again. Angrily, back into the house she went. As the man was getting ready to edge the lawn, here she came out again, marched to the mail box, opened it and then slammed it closed harder than ever. Puzzled by her actions the man asked her, "Is something wrong?" she replied, "There certainly is! My stupid computer keeps saying, 'YOU'VE GOT MAIL.'"
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has 65.57 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: blonde, computer, men, stupid
Q: What would men do if they had breasts? A: They'd stay at home and play with them all day.
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has 65.48 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: men
Why does a penis have a hole at the end? So guys can be open-minded.
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has 65.32 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: men
Do you know why bankers are good lovers? They know first hand the penalty for early withdrawal.
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has 65.32 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: love, men
I just had an argument with a girl I know. She was saying how that it's unfair that if a guy fucks a different girl every week, he's a legend, but if a girl fucks just two guys in a year, she's a slut. So in response, I told her that if a key opens lots of locks, then it's a master key. But if a lock is opened by lots of keys, then it's a shitty lock. That shut her up.
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has 65.30 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: communication, mean, men, sex, women
Men are born between the legs of women and spend all their life trying to get back between them. Why? Theres no place like home ...
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has 65.20 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: life, men, women
John asks his wife, Mary, what she wants to celebrate their 40th wedding anniversary. “Would you like a new Mink Coat?” he asks. “Not really,” says Mary. “Well how about a new Mercedes sports car?” says John. “No,” she responds. “What about a new vacation home in the country?” he suggests. She again rejects his offer with a, “No thanks.” Frustrated he finally asks, “Well what would you like for your anniversary?” “John, I’d like a divorce,” answers Mary. John thinks for a moment and replies “Sorry dear, I wasn’t planning to spend that much.”
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has 65.19 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: anniversary, car, divorce, men, wife
A woman walked into the kitchen to find her husband stalking a round with a fly swatter. "What are you doing?" she asked. "Hunting flies," He responded. "Oh, killing any?" She asked. "Yep, three males, two females," he replied. Intrigued, she asked, How can you tell? He responded, "Three were on a beer can, two were on the phone."
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has 65.16 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: animal, beer, men, phone, women
This man was talking to a group of men at a bar and he said, "In my house I am the boss, I say when the laundry is done and when the cooking is made and when the dishes are washed." One of the guys at the table said, "How long have you been married?" The man says, "Oh I'm not married I'm single!"
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has 64.88 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: men
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