The best military jokes

An instructor in chemical warfare asked soldiers in his class: "Anyone knows the formula for water?" "Sure. That's easy," said one man. "What is it?" "H, I, J, K, L, M, N, O." "What, what?" reasked the instructor. "H to O," explained the chemistry expert.
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has 66.81 % from 95 votes. More jokes about: chemistry, military, science
A college Professor, an avowed Atheist, was teaching his class. He shocked several of his students when he flatly stated he was going to prove there is no God. Addressing the ceiling he shouted: "God, if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this platform. I'll give you 15 minutes!" The lecture room fell silent. You could have heard a pin drop. Ten minutes went by. Again the Professor taunted God, saying, "Here I am, God! I'm still waiting!" His count-down got down to the last couple of minutes when a Marine, just released from active duty and newly registered in the class, walked up to the Professor and punched him full-force in the face. The Professor tumbled from his lofty platform, and he was out cold before he hit the floor. At first the students were shocked, and they babbled in confusion. The young Marine took a seat in the front row and sat silently. The class fell silent... waiting. Eventually, the Professor came to. When he finally regained the power of speech, he glared at the young Marine in the front row. "What's the matter with you? Why on earth did you do that?" The Marine smiled. "God was busy. He sent me."
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has 66.14 % from 103 votes. More jokes about: atheist, communication, god, military, school
Q: What is Iraq's national bird ? A: Duck.
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has 65.52 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: military
During the Iraq war, a Lieutenant asked the soldier why he was falling back during a really fierce battle, "Didn't you hear me say that we're outnumbered 4 to 1 ?" The soldier replied, "I got my four Sir."
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has 65.42 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: military, war
Why did Osama Bin Laden kill his wife? When she spread her legs he saw bush.
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has 64.81 % from 73 votes. More jokes about: black humor, military, political
Q: How many Americans does it take to screw in a light bulb ? A: Only one, but he does it from 30 miles away using laser targeting, and at a cost of US $8,000, 000.
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has 64.80 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: military
One day some soldiers from a nearby Army camp saw a boy leading a donkey. They thought they would have some fun with him. "Say, boy," called out one of the soldiers. "You sure are keeping a tight rein on your brother, aren't you?" "Sure am," said the boy. "If I didn't he would probably join the Army."
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has 64.73 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: animal, military
Q: Why couldn't the sailors play cards? A: The captain was sitting on the deck.
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has 64.23 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: game, military, navy
As we stood in formation at the Pensacola Naval Air Station, our Flight Instructor said, “All right! All you dummies fall out.” As the rest of the squad wandered away, I remained at attention. The instructor walked over until he was eye-to-eye with me, and then just raised a single eyebrow. I smiled and said, “Sure was a lot of ‘em, huh sir?”
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has 62.91 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: military
One of my friends returned from Afghanistan and I asked him if he is going to the party tomorrow. He said he can't walk.
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has 62.85 % from 75 votes. More jokes about: black humor, health, military, party, war
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