How many civil servants does it take to set fire to Guy Fawkes on November 5th? Twenty, One to strike the match and nineteen to fill in the paper work.
While my six-year-old daughter of the space age and I were reviewing some old photographs, we came across a picture of me when I was a captain in the Army Reserves. “Daddy, were you in a war?” “Yes,” I fibbed, just to see what her reaction would be. Wide-eyed, she gasped, “Against what planet?”
Which branch of the military do babies join? The infantry!
Q:What not to say to the nice policeman? A:I thought you had to be in relatively good physical condition to be a police officer.
One of my friends returned from Afghanistan and I asked him if he is going to the party tomorrow. He said he can't walk.
What do Gary Glitter and Napalm have in common? Both can strip the clothes off a small Vietnamese child in under two seconds.
During the Iraq War, As a soldier was saying good-bye to his family, his five-year-old son, James, held his leg and started pleading not to leave. "No, Daddy, please don't go!" he kept repeating. They were beginning to make a scene when his wife, desperate to calm him, said, "Let Daddy go and I'll take you to get a pizza." Immediately, James loosened his death grip, stepped back and in a calm voice said, "'Bye, Daddy."
A blonde decides to join the military thinking she can meet a few guys. What is wrong with this joke? 1. This isn't a joke 2. The blonde is thinking
I went to buy some camouflage trousers the other day but I couldn't find any.
Q: What do Miss Muffet and Saddam Hussein have in common ? A: They both have Kurds in their Whey.