Chuck Norris once joined the Army. That's how the motto, "An Army of One" was created.
Two men were boasting to each other about their old army days. “Why, my outfit was so well drilled,” declared one, “that when they presented arms all you could hear was slap, slap, click.” “Very good,” conceded the other, “but when my company presented arms you’d just hear slap, slap, jingle.” “What was the jingle?” asked the first. “Oh,” replied the other offhand, “just our medals.”
A drill sergeant had just chewed out one of his cadets, and as he was walking away, he turned to the cadet and said, "I guess when I die you'll come and dance on my grave." The cadet replied, "Not me, Sarge...no sir! I promised myself that when I got out of the Army I'd never stand in another line!"
What happened when the soldier went into an enemy bar? He got bombed.
Before Chuck Norris can register as a soldier, all wars suddenly end.
English man Irish man Scotch man are in a desert, they got captured by the Germans. The Germans say, I will give you one thing before you die. The Englishman man say water, the Scotch man say whiskey, the Irish man says a car door. The Germans say, why do you want a car door. The Irish man says, because when it gets hot, it can wind down the window.
Q: What do you call a roman warrior after oral sex? A: Gladiator.
Iran reveals a plan to test its first Chuck Norris within a week.
Q: What's brown and in the military? A: Gomer's pile.
Q: What is it called when a soldier slips into a fox hole? A: Bestiality