The best military jokes

An Australian Combat Field Engineer Sergeant and a U.S Marine were on exchange duty and were sharing the latrines. The Aussie Sergeant finished first and walked out without washing his hands. The U.S Marine watched in disgust, finished his squirt, washed his hands and walked up to the Aussie Sergeant and said. In the U.S Marine Corps we were taught to wash our hands after a leak”. The rather large Aussie Sergeant replied, ” In the Australian Army mate, we were taught not to piss on our hands …! ”
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has 56.22 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: military
How many civil servants does it take to set fire to Guy Fawkes on November 5th? Twenty, One to strike the match and nineteen to fill in the paper work.
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has 55.71 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: military, work
Which branch of the military do babies join? The infantry!
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has 54.45 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: baby, military
Q: What do Miss Muffet and Saddam Hussein have in common ? A: They both have Kurds in their Whey.
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has 54.13 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: military
Q: In the Navy, how do they separate the men from the boys? A: With a crowbar.
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has 54.13 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: military
While my six-year-old daughter of the space age and I were reviewing some old photographs, we came across a picture of me when I was a captain in the Army Reserves. “Daddy, were you in a war?” “Yes,” I fibbed, just to see what her reaction would be. Wide-eyed, she gasped, “Against what planet?”
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has 53.69 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: age, dad, military
A blonde decides to join the military thinking she can meet a few guys. What is wrong with this joke? 1. This isn't a joke 2. The blonde is thinking
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has 53.31 % from 68 votes. More jokes about: blonde, military
During the Iraq War, As a soldier was saying good-bye to his family, his five-year-old son, James, held his leg and started pleading not to leave. "No, Daddy, please don't go!" he kept repeating. They were beginning to make a scene when his wife, desperate to calm him, said, "Let Daddy go and I'll take you to get a pizza." Immediately, James loosened his death grip, stepped back and in a calm voice said, "'Bye, Daddy."
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has 53.07 % from 70 votes. More jokes about: family, food, kids, military, war
General Peter Pollock, the Navy Chief was visiting his colleague General Marshall, who was in charge of the Army. General Pollock arrives at the military camp and is greeted by Marshall. They both walk around the place, and Pollock asks: "So how are your men Marshall?" "Very well trained, Peter." "I hope so. You see, my men over at the Navy are so well trained, you could see they're the bravest men all over the country." "Well, my men are very brave, too." "I'd like to see that." So Marshall calls an under-trainee and says: "James! I want you to stop that tank coming here with your body!" "Are you crazy? It'd kill me, you idiot! I'm out of here!" As James ran away, Marshall turned to a bewildered Pollock and said: "You see? You have to be pretty brave to talk like that to a general."
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has 52.42 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: atheist, men, military, navy
What happened when the soldier went into an enemy bar? He got bombed.
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has 52.38 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: bar, military
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