The best money jokes

In a shop for kids. Peter selects a toy car, comes to the cash desk and gives the cashier money-cards from Monopoly game. The cashier: - Are you stupid? This isn't real money! Peter: - You're stupid. The car is not real either.
Vote: has 78.95 % from 1446 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: car, kids, money, stupid
Yo' Mama is so poor, she chases the garbage truck with a grocery list.
Vote: has 78.88 % from 1273 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: car, insulting, money, Yo mama
‘The United States has developed a new weapon that destroys people but it leaves buildings standing. It’s called the stock market.’ Jay Leno
Vote: has 78.85 % from 57 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: money
Little Johnny was in class and the teacher announced that they were going to try something different to help everyone get to know each other a little better, and to help with their spelling. She explained, "I want you to stand up and give us the occupation of your father, spell it, and say one thing he would give us all if he was here today." The first student raised her hand to volunteer. "Marcy," the teacher said. "You may go first." Marcy replied, "My father is a banker. B-A-N-K-E-R and if he was here today, he would give us all a shiny new penny." The teacher said, "Very nice, Marcy, who wants to go next?" Kevin stood up and announced, "My father is a baker. B-A-K-E-R and if he was here today, he would give us all a freshly-baked cookie." "Very good," the teacher told Kevin. Jeff was next, and he said, "My father is an accountant. A-K, no wait, A-C-K, no..." Before he could attempt to spell it once more, the teacher cut him off and told him to sit back down and to think about it for a while. When he thought he knew how to spell it, he could stand back up and try again. Little Johnny raised his hand in excitement hoping to be acknowledged by the teacher. The teacher called on little Johnny to go next. Johnny said, "My father is a bookie. B-O-O-K-I-E and if he was here today, he would give us all 20:1 odds Jeff will never be able to spell "accountant."
Vote: has 78.83 % from 206 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dad, food, little Johnny, money, teacher
I am a marvelous housekeeper. Every time I leave a man I keep his house.
Vote: has 78.77 % from 32 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: divorce, mean, men, money, women
My boss doesn't believe money equals happiness. So instead of raises, he gives us Prozac.
Vote: has 78.59 % from 18 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: drug, management, money, work
Insurance companies are trying to set new guidelines before approving Viagra coverage. What will they use to set those guidelines? A growth chart.
Vote: has 78.59 % from 18 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, money, viagra
A young man goes into the Job Centre in Sydney, and sees an ad for a Gynaecologist's Assistant. Interested, he goes to learn more. "Can you give me some more details on this job?" he asks the clerk.  The clerk pulls up the file and says, "The job entails getting the women ready for the gynaecological consult. You have to help them out of their underwear, lay them down, and carefully wash their private regions, then apply shaving foam and gently shave off the hair, then rub in soothing oils so that they're ready for the examination. There's an annual salary of $75,000, but you're going to have to go to Perth - other side of the country."  The man says "Oh is that where the job is?" The clerk says "No sir. That's where the end of the line is right now."
Vote: has 78.47 % from 44 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: doctor, men, money, women, work
Little Johnny was crying one day, and his dad asked him why. 'I've lost five cents,' sobbed Johnny. 'Don't worry,' said his dad kindly.' Here's five more for you,' At this Johnny howled louder than ever. 'Now what is it ?' asked his dad. 'I wish I'd said I'd lost ten cents!'
Vote: has 78.39 % from 355 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dad, little Johnny, money
How do you find the population of Mexico? roll a penny down the street How do you find the richest person in Mexico? SEE WHO GOT THE PENNY!
Vote: has 78.33 % from 1587 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: money, racist


<<<13141516
More jokes →
Page 13 of 83.