The best money jokes

I offered a blonde a penny for her thoughts... she gave me change!
Vote: has 79.18 % from 64 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: blonde, money
Innkeeper: "The room is $15. a night. It's $5. if you make your own bed." Guest: "I'll make my own bed." Innkeeper: "Good. I'll get you some nails and wood."
Vote: has 79.06 % from 39 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, customer service, money, travel, work
Yo' Mama is so poor, she chases the garbage truck with a grocery list.
Vote: has 79.06 % from 1254 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: car, insulting, money, Yo mama
In a shop for kids. Peter selects a toy car, comes to the cash desk and gives the cashier money-cards from Monopoly game. The cashier: - Are you stupid? This isn't real money! Peter: - You're stupid. The car is not real either.
Vote: has 78.93 % from 1445 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: car, kids, money, stupid
‘The United States has developed a new weapon that destroys people but it leaves buildings standing. It’s called the stock market.’ Jay Leno
Vote: has 78.85 % from 57 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: money
I bought a lottery ticket. My son asked me: "Dady if your ticket wins $100,000 what will you do?" I replied: "A travel to Europe, drink best and most expensive wines, making sex by the most beautiful actress and so on." He again asked: "If unfortunately, your ticket didn't win what would be your action?" I angrily gazed him then I told him: "I don't move here, drink some booze and beer; fuck your mother."
Vote: has 78.81 % from 125 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, dad, money, travel, vulgar
What four animals does a woman like to have in her house? A tiger in bed, a mink in her closet, a jaguar in her garage and a jackass to pay for it all.
Vote: has 78.77 % from 32 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, car, mean, money, women
A businessman was confused about a bill he had received, so he asked his secretary for some mathematical help. "If I were to give you $20,000, minus 14%, how much would you take off?" he asked her. The secretary replied, "Everything but my earrings."
Vote: has 78.76 % from 97 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: business, math, money
Little Johnny was crying one day, and his dad asked him why. 'I've lost five cents,' sobbed Johnny. 'Don't worry,' said his dad kindly.' Here's five more for you,' At this Johnny howled louder than ever. 'Now what is it ?' asked his dad. 'I wish I'd said I'd lost ten cents!'
Vote: has 78.76 % from 351 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dad, little Johnny, money
A Sunday school teacher was teaching her class about the difference between right and wrong. "All right children, let's take another example," she said. "If I were to get into a man's pocket and take his wallet with all his money, what would I be?" Little Johnny raises his hand, and with a confident smile, he blurts out, "You'd be his wife!"
Vote: has 78.61 % from 68 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: little Johnny, money, school, teacher, wife


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