Why don't cows ever have any money?
Because the farmers milk them dry.
Yo' Mama is so poor, she eats cereal with a fork to save milk.
Yo' Mama is like my cell phone plan: 10 cents a minute anytime, anywhere, no restrictions.
Yo mama so poor she bragged about the time she almost ate at a restaraunt.
An atheist buys an Ancient Roman Catholic lamp at an auction, takes it home, and begins to polish it.
Suddenly, a genie appears, and says, "I'll grant you three wishes, Master."
The atheist says, "I wish I could believe in you."
The genie snaps his fingers, and suddenly the atheist believes in him.
The atheist says, "Wow. I wish all atheists would believe this."
The genie snaps his fingers again, and suddenly atheists all over the world begin to believe in genies.
"What about your third wish?" asks the genie.
"Well," says the atheist, "I wish for a billion dollars."
The genie snaps his fingers for a third time, but nothing happens.
"What's wrong?" asks the atheist.
The genie shrugs and says, "Just because you believe in me, doesn't necessarily mean that I really exist."
Hey, you wanna do a 68?
You go down on me, and I'll owe you one.
Martin ended a letter to his dad with this question, 'Is Washington's picture still on the dollar bill?'
His Father wrote back, 'Of course it is. Why do you ask?'
Martin answered, 'Because it's been so long since I've seen one!'
Remember when we spent money like there was no tomorrow?
Well, it’s tomorrow.
A small boy goes up to a man in the street and asks him if he’s lost £5.
The man checks his pockets and says, ‘Well, yes.
I think I have lost a £5 note.
Have you found one?’ The boy replies, ‘No.
I just wanted to see how many people had lost a £5 note today.
You make 72.’
Yo mama so poor I sat on the garbage can and she said get off from my roof.