The best money jokes

When we moved to the US I was 8 years old. I remember asking my father if I can have an allowance? When he asked me what that was, I said you're allowed to give me money.
Vote: has 58.75 % from 18 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: age, family, geography, life, money
After his divorce Mr. Jones realized that poker isn't the only game that starts with holding hands and ends with a staggering financial loss.
Vote: has 58.67 % from 33 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: game, money, women
How do you find the population of a Mexican village? Roll a quarter down the street.r
Vote: has 58.58 % from 30 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: mexican, money, racist
A man was telling his neighbor, “I just bought a new hearing aid. It cost me four thousand dollars, but it’s state of the art. It’s perfect.” “Really,” answered the neighbor. “What kind is it?” “Twelve thirty.”
Vote: has 58.56 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: money, old people, time
‘If all the nations in the world are in debt, where did all the money go?’ Steven Wright
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More jokes about: money
A kindergarten teacher spent a few minutes each morning teaching a new word to her class. She would tell the class the word and its meaning, then ask them to come up with a few sentences that included the word for the day. One day, the teacher said that the word for the day was "frugal." She explained that frugal had to do with saving, and a frugal person is one who saves. She then asked the class to come up with a sentence for the word. The class seemed kind of stumped, and sat there in silence for a few seconds until one little girl raised her hand. Instead of just a sentence, she came up with a little story: "There once was a princess who was stuck in a tall tower. There was a spell on all of the doors, so she couldn’t get out. One day, she heard a young prince who was walking by and singing. The princess called out of the tower, 'Frugal me! Frugal me!' So, the prince frugaled her and they lived happily ever after."
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More jokes about: money, music, teacher
Money spoils people, thus folks of Sierra Leone are really good.
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More jokes about: money
How much money did the bronco have? Only a buck!
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More jokes about: animal, money
George meets a genie in the street, which tells him to make a wish and it will make it true. "I want to pee whiskey," he says. “But are you sure? You can ask for money, wealth, anything you want." "No I want to pee whiskey." The genie thinks what can it do, it makes his wish true. George goes home, calls his wife, Sue: "Woman, get nuts and two glasses." Curious she was, she brings them. "What do you want them? She asks him. Once we don’t have any drinks." From now on, we will both have as much whiskey as we want, says to her. And really he fills the two glasses with whiskey. They clink, drink one, drink two drinks, make some fun … and play a little game. The other night the same happen. "Woman, bring two glasses and nuts." So they spend their evenings. One night, however, the scene changed. "Woman, bring nuts and a cup." "A, for one?" "You will drink from the bottle today."
Vote: has 57.92 % from 38 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, dirty, game, money, women
Yo mama so poor when i went to her house and picked up a paper plate she yelled "Not my good china!"
Vote: has 57.40 % from 43 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, insulting, money, Yo mama