The best money jokes

Q: You know what lego set Trump played with as a kid? A: The wall maker set.
Vote: has 65.16 % from 22 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: game, kids, money
Terrorists take a group of lawyers hostage. They ask for a ransom of $20 million and threaten to release one lawyer at a time if not given what they ask for.
Vote: has 64.90 % from 83 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: lawyer, life, money, terrorist, time
The lawyer’s motto: a man is not guilty until he demonstrates he is out of money...
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More jokes about: lawyer, money
An FBI agent was interviewing a bank teller after the bank had been robbed 3 times by the same bandit: "Did you notice anything special about the man?" asks the agent. "Yes," replied the teller. "He was better dressed each time."
Vote: has 64.88 % from 18 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: cop, money
The newest therapy for healing the states of depression is so-called decapitation. It costs only 100 dollars but 50 dollars pays the health insurance company. The operation will be made only once and you will never feel depressive. I had also luck and I also gave an order to this kind of therapy. I wish well to myself.
Vote: has 64.88 % from 18 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: health, money
Yo mama so fat and poor the only thing she could afford to eat was grease.
Vote: has 64.88 % from 18 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: fat, food, money, Yo mama
Yo' Mama is so poor, she rolls her own tampons.
Vote: has 64.78 % from 14 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: insulting, money, Yo mama
Why don't cows ever have any money? Because the farmers milk them dry.
Vote: has 64.78 % from 14 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: animal, money
A man walks into a bar. He sits down and orders a beer. While drinking he notices on the back shelf, a giant glass jar full of dollar bills. He asks the bartender "what's with all the $"? The bartender replies, "it's a game customers play. They put $50 in the jar, and have to complete 3 tasks to win the bulk". The man says, shocked, "well what are the tasks? There must be thousands in that jar". The bartender responds "you must pay the $50 before given the tasks". The man refuses and claims that's stupid. But after a few beers, curiosity gets to him and he decides to pay the fee. The bartender explains "The three tasks are... you must first drink this entire bottle of tequila until it's empty. Next, outback is an angry, stray Rottweiler who has a horrible tooth which needs to be removed. And lastly, upstairs in the apartment is an old lady who's been widowed for 45 years and hasn't had an orgasm since. So you must also give her a wild time to extreme pleasure to win the reward". The man agrees and starts with a few sips of the spirit, takes a break then chugs the rest of the entire bottle! Already feeling wasted and dazed, he stumbles out of his stool, and towards the back exit. Once outside, the bartender and other customers can only listen to what is happening. After a few barks and growls, all of a sudden the dog lets out a loud whimper. In stumbles, the daring man, clothes shredded and blood spattered. The customer's mouths were hanging wide open. The bartender asks " oh my god, nobody's ever done that, is the dog going to be alright?!" "Ahhhh Don't worry about that damn dog" shouts the drunken man. "Just tell me where the old bitch is who needs that tooth pulled". Heard this from an old man, not sure where he got it from, or if it's on here already or not.
Vote: has 64.76 % from 29 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: bar, beer, dog, money, vulgar
If money dosnt grow on trees why do banks have branches?
Vote: has 64.52 % from 46 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: money


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