The best money jokes

A blonde walks by a travel agency and notices a sign in the window, "Cruise Special -- $99!". She goes inside, lays her money on the counter and says, "I'd like the $99 cruise special, please." The agent grabs her, drags her into the back room, ties her to a large inner tube, then drags her out the back door and downhill to the river, where he pushes her in and sends her floating. A second blonde comes by a few minutes later, sees the sign, goes inside, lays her money on the counter, and asks for the $99 special. She too is tied to an inner tube and sent floating down the river. Drifting into stronger current, she eventually catches up with the first blonde. They float side by side for a while before the first blonde asks, "Do they serve refreshments on this cruise? The second blonde replies, " They didn't last year."
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has 62.30 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: blonde, money, travel
Fred: Thank you so much for lending me that money. I shall be everlastingly in your debt. Harry: That's what I'm afraid of!
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has 62.22 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: money
Money isn’t everything, but at least it encourages relatives to stay in touch.
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has 62.22 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: money
How many bankers does it take to change a light bulb? Four. One to hold the bulb, and three to try and remember the combination.
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has 62.22 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: light bulb, memory, money, work
Saul is working in his store when he hears a booming voice from above: "Saul, sell your business." He ignores it. It goes on for days. "Saul, sell your business for $3 million." After weeks of this, he relents, sells his store. The voice says ‘Saul, go to Las Vegas." He asks why. "Saul, take the $3 million to Las Vegas." He obeys, goes to a casino. Voice says, "Saul , go to the blackjack table and put it down all on one hand." He hesitates but knows he must. He’s dealt an 18. The dealer has a six showing. "Saul, take a card." What? The dealer has -- "Take a card!" He tells the dealer to hit him. Saul gets an ace. Nineteen. He breathes easy. "Saul, take another card." What? "TAKE ANOTHER CARD!" He asks for another card. It’s another ace. He has twenty. "Saul, take another card," the voice commands. I have twenty! Saul shouts. "TAKE ANOTHER CARD!!" booms the voice. Hit me,Saul says. He gets another ace. Twenty one. The booming voice goes: "un-fucking-believable!"
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has 62.19 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: money
Hey, you wanna do a 68? You go down on me, and I'll owe you one.
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has 62.19 % from 46 votes. More jokes about: age, dirty, flirt, money, sex
Q: What travels at 200km's a hour? A: A Mexican hearing a dollar drop to the ground.
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has 62.13 % from 112 votes. More jokes about: money, racist, travel
Terrorists take a group of lawyers hostage. They ask for a ransom of $20 million and threaten to release one lawyer at a time if not given what they ask for.
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has 62.08 % from 106 votes. More jokes about: lawyer, life, money, terrorist, time
About 4,000 years ago: God: "I shall create a great plague and every living thing on Earth will die!" Fish: *Winks at God and slips him a $20 note* God: "Correction, I shall create a great flood!"
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has 61.89 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: death, god, life, money, time
Q: Why did Hitler kill himself? A: He saw his gas bill.
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has 61.72 % from 202 votes. More jokes about: black humor, Hitler, jewish, money, morbid
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