The best money jokes

A little boy asked his father, "Daddy, how much does it cost to get married?" And the father replied, "I don't know, son, I'm still paying for it."
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has 63.06 % from 537 votes. More jokes about: dad, marriage, money
Two shepherds lean on their crooks at the end of a long day and the first asks the second, "So, how's it going?" The second one sighed and shook his head, "Not good, I can't pay my bills, my health isn't good, my kids don't respect me, and my wife is leaving me." The first replied, "Well, don't lose any sheep over it."
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has 63.00 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: animal, health, money, wife
Yo momma so fat she could go to the desert and sells shade.
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has 63.00 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: fat, money, Yo mama
Q: Why did two women walk into a saloon pointing bananas at people and shouting: "GIVE US YER LOOT!" A: They were both blonds.
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has 63.00 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: blonde, money, stupid
A young Alabama man goes to a drug store and says to the pharmact: "I got a hot date tonight, an’ I need me some petection. How much is a pack a’ them rubbers gonna cost me?" The pharmacist responds: "A three-pack of condoms is $4.99 with tax." "TACKS!" the shocked redneck says. "Gawd a’ mighty, don’t they stay on by themselves!"
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has 62.98 % from 66 votes. More jokes about: dating, drug, money, sex, tax
A guy takes his blonde girlfriend to a football game for the first time. After the game he asked his girlfriend how she liked the game. Oh, I really liked it, she said, but I just couldn't understand though why they were beating each other up for 25 cents. Surprised, the boyfriend asked, what do you mean? The blonde girlfriend replied all they kept screaming was, ‘Get the quarter back! Get the quarter back!'
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has 62.79 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: football, kids, money
Yo' Mama is like a bus: she's big, she stinks, and it's only a dollar to ride.
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has 62.61 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: money, Yo mama
Bill Gates once asked Chuck Norris to be his personal body guard for an hour, he couldn't afford it...
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has 62.61 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, Chuck Norris, money
The below are valid reasons as to why drinking should be allowed at work. If you use them wisely, you may even be able to convince your boss to allow alcohol. 1. It's an incentive to show up. 2. It reduces stress. 3. It leads to more honest communications. 4. It reduces complaints about low pay. 5. It cuts down on time off because you can work with a hangover. 6. Employees tell management what they think, not what management wants to hear. 7. It helps save on heating costs in the winter. 8. It encourages carpooling. 9. Increases job satisfaction because if you have a bad job you don't care. 10. It eliminates vacations because people would rather come to work. 11. It makes fellow employees look better. 12. It makes the cafeteria food taste better. 13. Bosses are more likely to hand out raises when they are wasted. 14. Salary negotiations are a lot more profitable.
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has 62.40 % from 71 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, holiday, money, winter, work
Q: Why can't the bankrupt cowboy complain? A: He has got no beef.
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has 62.22 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal, cowboy, money
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