The best money jokes

Q: If marriage is terrific what is divorce? A: Ten thousand!
Vote: has 54.26 % from 13 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: divorce, marriage, money
A drunk in a bar pukes all over his own shirt, which was brand new before he came in. “Damn,” he says. “I puked on my shirt again. If the wife finds out, she’s gonna kill me.” “Not to worry,” says the bartender as he sticks a $20 bill in the drunk’s pocket. “Just tell her someone puked on you and gave you some cash to cover the cleaning bill.” So the drunk goes home and tells his wife about the guy who puked on him. She reaches into his pocket and finds two twenties. “Why are there two twenties?” she asks. The drunk replies, “Oh, yeah, he crapped in my pants, too.”
Vote: has 54.16 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, bar, drunk, money, wife
Yo mama is so poor, I went to her place for dinner the other day, and when I asked what we were having, she put her foot up on the table and said "corn !".
Vote: has 54.16 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, insulting, money, Yo mama
Yo' Mama is so poor, she only goes to the grocery store for free samples.
Vote: has 54.16 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: money, Yo mama
Yo' Mama is so poor, she goes to Kentucky Fried Chicken to lick other people's fingers.
Vote: has 54.16 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, insulting, money, Yo mama
Yo' Mama is so poor, she does a drive-by from the bus.
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More jokes about: money, Yo mama
Willy: "Mom, are our neighbors very poor people? Mother: "I don't think so, Willy. Why do you ask?" Willy: "Because they made such a fuss when their baby swallowed a coin."
Vote: has 53.58 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, kids, money
I'm not saying that the customer service in my bank is bad, but when I went in the other day and asked the clerk to check my balance she leaned over and pushed me.
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Q: Why did the Asian cross the road? A: Because he had no car!
Vote: has 53.58 % from 44 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: asian, car, money, racist
A woman was out golfing one day when she hit her ball into the woods. She went into the woods to look for it and found a frog in a trap. The frog said to her, "If you release me from this trap, I will grant you 3 wishes." The woman freed the frog and the frog said, "Thank you, but I failed to mention that there was a condition to your wishes-that whatever you wish for, your husband will get 10 times more or better!" The woman said, "That would be okay," and for her first wish, she wanted to be the most beautiful woman in the world. The frog warned her, "You do realize that this wish will also make your husband the most handsome man in the world, an Adonis, that women will flock to." The woman replied, "That will be okay because I will be the most beautiful woman and he will only have eyes for me." So, KAZAM - she's the most beautiful woman in the world! For her second wish, she wanted to be the richest woman in the world. The frog said, "That will make your husband the richest man in the world and he will be ten times richer than you." The woman said, "That will be okay because what is mine is his and what is his is mine." So, KAZAM she's the richest woman in the world! The frog then inquired about her third wish, and she answered, I'd like a mild heart attack."
Vote: has 53.56 % from 354 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, golf, husband, money, sex