‘A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.’ Bob Hope
Two hunters are stalking through the forest when one says to the other that he has to take a dump. "Well, go in the bushes." "What should I use to wipe my ass?" "Use a dollar bill." A few minutes later the hunter steps out of the bushes with s**t all over his hands. "What happened?" asks his friend. "I didn't have a dollar bill, so I used four quarters."
Yo mama is so fat when she sat on WALMART she lowered the price.
Yo' Mama is so poor, when she farts, her holey underwear whistles.
Yo' mama so poor, she fills her ice trays with toilet water!
Yo' Mama is so poor, when she goes to the park, the pigeons throw her bread.
I like black people . . . . . I used to have some black friends 'till my dad sold them!
Men are like.....Coffee The best ones are rich, warm, and can keep you up all night long.
Why is it that when a man talks nasty to a women it’s sexual harassment, but when a women talks nasty to a man it’s £3.99 a minute?
A beggar walks up to a well-dressed woman out shopping. ‘I haven’t eaten anything in four days,’ he says. She looks at him and says, ‘God, I wish I had your willpower.’