The best money jokes

‘Money can’t buy you happiness, but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.’ Spike Milligan
has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: money
Why pay $5 at Subway when you can get this footlong for free?
has 54.45 % from 50 votes. More jokes about: dirty, flirt, food, money, sex
I'm like Domino's Pizza. If I don't come in 30 minutes, the next one is free.
has 54.31 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: business, flirt, food, money, sex
Why are black people & vending machines the same? Because they both don't work & they both steal your money.
has 54.28 % from 151 votes. More jokes about: black people, money, racist, work
Genuine advert. In New York Newspaper Complete set of Encyclopaedia Britannia. 45 volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000 or best offer. No longer needed. Got married last weekend. Wife knows f**king everything.
has 54.24 % from 172 votes. More jokes about: marriage, money, wife
A snail is walking down the road, when all of a sudden two turtles appear. They rough up the snail, take his money, and leave him for dead. Months later in the courtroom, after the two turtles have been arrested, the judge asks the snail to describe what happened on the night of the assault. The snail says, "Gee, I would love to, your honor, but it all happened so fast!"
has 54.16 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: animal, death, money
Why is it that when a man talks nasty to a women it’s sexual harassment, but when a women talks nasty to a man it’s £3.99 a minute?
has 54.16 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: money
You know who's mad at Kobe? Every other player in the NBA. You know why? Cause he messed around on his wife and bought her a $4 million ring. Yeah, you know what that means: that's the new minimum. Cause you know how women are, man. Women get upset: "Oh, really, what's this? A $1 million ring? What - did that bitch get my $3 million, too?"
has 54.15 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: mean, money, sport, women
Q: What kind of money do elves use? A: Jingle bills!
has 54.13 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: elf, money
Q: What does a black person have in common with a soda machine? A: They both don't work and always take your money.
has 53.89 % from 159 votes. More jokes about: black people, money, racist, work
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