The best money jokes

Yo momma is so poor for Christmas she got a box, put two sticks on it, spun it and said son here's your xbox 360.
Vote:
has 55.19 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: Christmas, game, money, Yo mama
Q: There is a $100 bill sitting in the middle of a 4 way intersection, at one side there is a man hating dike, at another side, there is Santa, at another side there is the Easter Bunny, and at the las side there is a man loving lesbian. Who gets the $100 bill? A: The man hating dike because all others are a figure of your imagination.
Vote:
has 55.11 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: easter, life, men, money, Santa
A man wakes up after spending 20 years in a coma. One of the first things he does is ring his stockbroker. ‘Your assets have increased considerably,’ says the stockbroker. ‘The £20,000 you had invested with us is now worth £20 million.’ ‘That’s fantastic,’ says the man. Just then the phone starts bleeping and a recorded voice interrupts, ‘To continue this conversation please insert another £500,000.’
Vote:
has 54.97 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: money
A guy walks into a bar and orders a beer. He only brought enough money for one beer though. As hes drinking his beer, which was quite expensive, he realizes how bad he has to go to the bathroom. Not wanting anyone to drink his expensive beer, he takes out a 3x5 note card and writes on it, "I SPIT IN THIS BEER", and walks to the bathroom. When he comes back about 15 minutes later, theres another 3x5 note card next to his beer saying, "I SPIT IN IT TOO".
Vote:
has 54.97 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar, beer, money, time
Q: Why does Santa have an accountant in the USA? A: So he can avoid Gift Taxes.
Vote:
has 54.97 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: accountant, geography, money, Santa, tax
There appeared suddenly a crowd of many people in the street, because they caught a thief, who has stolen 500 euros from the grocery. They wanted to beat him up, but Johny stayed still and told the people: "who is without guilt, may throw a stone at this thief!" Nobody wanted to throw a stone at this thief, becuase nobody was without guilt. Suddenly one stone has hit this thief directly into his forehead and he has fallen down to the ground. Johny asked: "who was it? Who was it?" The Heaven has opened and the oldest archangel has s aid: "it was me!"
Vote:
has 54.97 % from 19 votes. More jokes about: heaven, life, mean, money
Why pay $5 at Subway when you can get this footlong for free?
Vote:
has 54.89 % from 48 votes. More jokes about: dirty, flirt, food, money, sex
Yo momma is so poor she ran after a trash can truck with her shoping list.
Vote:
has 54.77 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: money, Yo mama
Q: What kind of money do elves use? A: Jingle bills!
Vote:
has 54.77 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: elf, money
Willy: "Mom, are our neighbors very poor people? Mother: "I don't think so, Willy. Why do you ask?" Willy: "Because they made such a fuss when their baby swallowed a coin."
Vote:
has 54.66 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: baby, kids, money
<<<55565758
More jokes →
Page 55 of 85.