The best money jokes

Some American academics, discussing the Six Day War with an Israeli general, were eager to know how it had ended so quickly. The general told them, "We had a crack regiment at the most sensitive front. It was made entirely of lawyers and accountants. When the time came to charge - boy, did they know how to charge!"
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has 54.66 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: accountant, college, ethnic, money, war
A guy walks in the local whorehouse, says "I want the cheapest one you got, I don't have much money." The guy behind the counter says "How bout the $1.95 cent special?" The customer says "ok", and he paid, headed to the room. When he opened the door, he found this beautiful broad spread out, just waiting for him. He rips off his clothes and starts going to town on her. Suddenly, all this white stuff starts coming out of her mouth, nose, ears. He freaked, "omg she's sick." He ran to the desk and told the guy what was happe ning, and the guy says "hey Joe! The dead one's full again!"
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has 54.59 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: black humor, customer service, dirty, disgusting, money
‘Money can’t buy you happiness, but it does bring you a more pleasant form of misery.’ Spike Milligan
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: money
‘A bank is a place that will lend you money if you can prove that you don’t need it.’ Bob Hope
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: money
There appeared suddenly a crowd of many people in the street, because they caught a thief, who has stolen 500 euros from the grocery. They wanted to beat him up, but Johny stayed still and told the people: "who is without guilt, may throw a stone at this thief!" Nobody wanted to throw a stone at this thief, becuase nobody was without guilt. Suddenly one stone has hit this thief directly into his forehead and he has fallen down to the ground. Johny asked: "who was it? Who was it?" The Heaven has opened and the oldest archangel has s aid: "it was me!"
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: heaven, life, mean, money
Yo' Mama is so poor, when she goes to the park, the pigeons throw her bread.
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has 54.26 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: animal, insulting, money, Yo mama
Genuine advert. In New York Newspaper Complete set of Encyclopaedia Britannia. 45 volumes. Excellent condition. $1,000 or best offer. No longer needed. Got married last weekend. Wife knows f**king everything.
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has 54.24 % from 172 votes. More jokes about: marriage, money, wife
Why is it that when a man talks nasty to a women it’s sexual harassment, but when a women talks nasty to a man it’s £3.99 a minute?
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has 54.16 % from 10 votes. More jokes about: money
I'm like Domino's Pizza. If I don't come in 30 minutes, the next one is free.
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has 54.15 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: business, flirt, food, money, sex
Your mama so old she still owes Jesus five bucks.
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has 54.15 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: age, christian, money, old people, Yo mama
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