I'm not saying that the customer service in my bank is bad, but when I went in the other day and asked the clerk to check my balance
she leaned over and pushed me.
Living on earth may be expensive, but it includes an annual free trip around the sun.
Yo' Mama is so poor, when she farts, her holey underwear whistles.
Andrew went to Medical Insurance to apply for his pension.
The woman behind the bench asked for his driving license to verify his age, but he had left his wallet home.
He said to her that he had to go home and return later.
The woman said: "Unbuckle your shirt."
And so he did, revealing his curly, gray hair of his chest.
"These gray hair is quite a nice proof for me," she said and continued with his application form.
When Andrew went home, he said to his wife what had happened.
"You should have taken your pants off," she said, "Maybe you would have taken disability pension too!"
A doctor and a lawyer were attending a cocktail party when the doctor was approached by a man who asked advice on how to handle his ulcer.
The doctor mumbled some medical advice, then turned to the lawyer and asked, "How do you handle the situation when you are asked for advice during a social function?"
"Just send an account for such advice" replied the lawyer.
On the next morning the doctor arrived at his surgery and issued the ulcer-stricken man a $50 account.
That afternoon he received a $100 account from the lawyer.
Q: What does a black person have in common with a soda machine?
A: They both don't work and always take your money.
Vote:
I married my wife for her money.
And believe me, I’ve earned it.
I have enough money to last me the rest of my life.
Unless I buy something.’ Jackie Mason
Yo mama is so poor that your TV got 2 channels: ON and OFF.
Vote:
Insurance companies are trying to set new guidelines before approving Viagra coverage.
What will they use to set those guidelines?
A growth chart.