The best money jokes

George had responded to a call from his attorney, insisting that they meet at once. He arrived at his lawyer's firm, and was ushered into his office. "Do you want the bad news first or the terrible news?" the lawyer asked. "Well, if those are my choices, I guess I'll take the bad news first." "Your wife found a picture worth a half-million dollars." "That's the bad news?" George was stunned? "If you call that bad, I can't wait to hear the terrible news." "The terrible news is that it's of you and your secretary."
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More jokes about: lawyer, money, office, wife
Yesterday I was at the hairdresser to cut my hair. The cutting of the hair costs 3 Euros but I had only 1 Euro. So I have asked the hairdresser if she will cut my hair also for 1 Euro? She said yes, so I was glad. Ok, it is not perfect, one side of my head is cut a little bit more than the other one, maybe I look a bit weird, but nobody is perfect.
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More jokes about: beauty, money, ugly
Men are like.....Coffee The best ones are rich, warm, and can keep you up all night long.
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More jokes about: men, money
Why is it that when a man talks nasty to a women it’s sexual harassment, but when a women talks nasty to a man it’s £3.99 a minute?
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More jokes about: money
A beggar walks up to a well-dressed woman out shopping. ‘I haven’t eaten anything in four days,’ he says. She looks at him and says, ‘God, I wish I had your willpower.’
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More jokes about: money
Yo' Mama is like a bus: she's big, she stinks, and it's only a dollar to ride.
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More jokes about: money, Yo mama
Your so poor, I stepped in your house and stepped on a cigarette, and your mom said, "Who turned of the lights".
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More jokes about: money, Yo mama
A young boy enters a barber shop and the barber whispers to his customer, "This is the dumbest kid in the world. Watch while I prove it to you." The barber puts a dollar bill in one hand and two quarters in the other, then calls the boy over and asks, "Which do you want, son?" The boy takes the quarters and leaves. "What did I tell you?" said the barber. "That kid never learns!" Later, when the customer leaves, he sees the same young boy coming out of the ice cream store. "Hey, son! May I ask you a question? Why did you take the quarters instead of the dollar bill?" The boy licked his cone and replied, "Because the day I take the dollar, the game is over!"
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More jokes about: game, kids, money, work
Q: What do you call a blonde with a dollar on her head? A: All you can eat under a buck.
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More jokes about: dirty, money
Living on earth may be expensive, but it includes an annual free trip around the sun.
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More jokes about: money