A man goes to a $10 hooker and contracts crabs from her.
When he goes back to complain, the hooker laughs and says, "What do you expect for $10 -- lobster?"
Bills travel through the post at twice the speed of cheques.
Money can’t buy happiness, but it can rent it for a couple of hours.
A young woman walks into a bank to withdraw some money.
‘Can you identify yourself?’ asked the bank clerk.
The young woman opens her handbag, takes out a mirror, looks into it and says, ‘Yes, it’s me all right.’
Living on earth may be expensive, but it includes an annual free trip around the sun.
Why does ET have such big eyes?
He saw the phone bill.
Yo' Mama is so poor, when she farts, her holey underwear whistles.
Why don't cows ever have any money?
Because the farmers milk them dry.
What kind of money do polar bears use?
Ice lolly.
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