An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn’t happen today.
Bills travel through the post at twice the speed of cheques.
Q: What travels at 200km's a hour?
A: A Mexican hearing a dollar drop to the ground.
Deciding to take up jogging, the middle-aged man was astounded by the wide selection of jogging shoes available at the local sports shoe store.
While trying on a basic pair of jogging shoe, he noticed a minor feature and asked the clerk about it.
“What’s this little pocket thing here on the side for?”
“Oh, that’s to carry spare change so you can call your wife to come pick you up when you’ve jogged too far.”
After years of scrimping and saving, a husband told his wife the good news:
"Honey, we've finally got enough money to buy what we started saving for in 1979."
"You mean a brand-new Cadillac?" she asked eagerly.
"No," said the husband, "a 1979 Cadillac."
Men are like.....Coffee
The best ones are rich, warm, and can keep you up all night long.
What is the difference between a crazy bunny and a counterfeit banknote?
One is bad money and the other is a mad bunny.
A man has visited a fortune teller because he wanted to know his future.
The fortune teller has taken a look at him from his head to his toes and has said: "you will be not rich because you have a very small ass and with such an ass it is not possible to sit on two seats."
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