The best money jokes

After any salary rise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you did before.
Vote: has 40.95 % from 7 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: money
I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
Vote: has 40.95 % from 7 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: money
What I want to know is how did a fool and his money get together in the first place?
Vote: has 40.95 % from 7 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: money
‘If you pick up a starving dog and make him prosperous, he will not bite you. This is the principal difference between a dog and a man.’ Mark Twain
Vote: has 40.95 % from 7 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: money
We have our water metered and it’s very expensive. The other day the house was on fire and we didn’t know whether it would be cheaper to let it burn.
Vote: has 40.95 % from 7 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: money
A man goes into a bank and asks the cashier to check his balance, so the cashier pushes him over.
Vote: has 40.95 % from 7 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: money
All I ask for is the opportunity to prove that money doesn’t buy happiness...All most people want is a chance to prove money can’t make them happy.
Vote: has 40.95 % from 7 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: money
A guy dials his home phone number from work. A strange woman answers. The guy says, "Who is this?" "This is the maid," answered the woman. "We don’t have a maid!" "I was just hired this morning by the lady of the house." "Well, this is her husband. Is she there?" "Ummm…she’s upstairs in the bedroom with someone who I just figured was her husband." The guy is fuming. He says to the maid, "Listen, would you like to make $50,000?" "What do I have to do?" "I want you to get my gun from my desk in the den and shoot that witch and the jerk she’s with." The maid puts down the phone. The guy hears footsteps, followed by a couple of gunshots. The maid comes back to the phone. "What should I do with the bodies?" "Throw them in the swimming pool!" "What pool?”" "Uh.. is this 832-4173?"
Vote: has 40.24 % from 29 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: money, phone, women, work
An English teacher asked her class to write an essay on what they'd do if they had a million dollars. Alec handed in a blank sheet of paper. 'Alec !' yelled the teacher, 'you've done nothing. Why?' 'Because if I had a million dollars, that's exactly what I would do !'
Vote: has 39.90 % from 9 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: money, teacher
I’m proud to say I made my money the old-fashioned way. My dad left it to me in his will.
Vote: has 39.90 % from 9 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: money