The best money jokes

Deciding to take up jogging, the middle-aged man was astounded by the wide selection of jogging shoes available at the local sports shoe store. While trying on a basic pair of jogging shoe, he noticed a minor feature and asked the clerk about it. “What’s this little pocket thing here on the side for?” “Oh, that’s to carry spare change so you can call your wife to come pick you up when you’ve jogged too far.”
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has 51.61 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: age, health, money, old people, wife
A snail is walking down the road, when all of a sudden two turtles appear. They rough up the snail, take his money, and leave him for dead. Months later in the courtroom, after the two turtles have been arrested, the judge asks the snail to describe what happened on the night of the assault. The snail says, "Gee, I would love to, your honor, but it all happened so fast!"
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has 51.34 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: animal, death, money
A deer hunter was bragging about the biggest, baddest, handsomest, heaviest deer he'd bagged the day before. "It's got enough meat to eat the whole year," he boasted. Just then the Game Warden came up and cited the man $500 for hunting without the proper tag. "Five-hundred dollars?" exclaimed the hunter. "All for a mangy, skinny, stubby, half-pint deer?"
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has 50.89 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: animal, hunting, money, time
Men are like.....Coffee The best ones are rich, warm, and can keep you up all night long.
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has 50.70 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: men, money
A man walked into a lawyer's office. "How much does your advice cost?" he asked the lawyer. "Fifty dollars for three questions," replied the lawyer. "Isn't that awfully steep?" asked the man. "Yes," the lawyer replied, "And what was your third question?"
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has 50.70 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: lawyer, money
I wouldn’t say that inflation is making my life difficult, but I’m now starving on an income I used to dream about.
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has 50.70 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: money
There was a fire at the local tax office but the fire brigade managed to put it out before any serious good was done.
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has 50.70 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: money
Yo mama is so poor that she had to get a second mortgage on her cardboard box.
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has 50.70 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: insulting, money, Yo mama
A prominent lawyer calls a plumber to fix a leak in his shower. After about 25 minutes the plumber hands him a bill for $200.00. The lawyer, enraged, says: “I’m a famous trial lawyer, and even I don’t make that kind of money for 25 minutes work!” “Neither did I when I was a lawyer”, says the plumber.
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has 50.70 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: lawyer, money, time
I like black people . . . . . I used to have some black friends 'till my dad sold them!
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has 50.62 % from 219 votes. More jokes about: black people, dad, money
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