The best money jokes

Living on earth may be expensive, but it includes an annual free trip around the sun.
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has 51.67 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: money
Why does ET have such big eyes? He saw the phone bill.
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has 51.67 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: money
Yo' Mama is so poor, when she farts, her holey underwear whistles.
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has 51.67 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: fart, insulting, money, Yo mama
Why don't cows ever have any money? Because the farmers milk them dry.
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has 51.67 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: animal, money
Thank you for your email. Your credit card has been charged $5.99 for the first 10 words and $1.99 for each additional word in your message.
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has 51.67 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: communication, mean, money, technology, work
Your so poor, I stepped in your house and stepped on a cigarette, and your mom said, "Who turned of the lights".
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has 51.34 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: money, Yo mama
Q: There is a $100 bill sitting in the middle of a 4 way intersection, at one side there is a man hating dike, at another side, there is Santa, at another side there is the Easter Bunny, and at the las side there is a man loving lesbian. Who gets the $100 bill? A: The man hating dike because all others are a figure of your imagination.
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has 51.13 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: easter, life, men, money, Santa
On a famous TV game show a blonde contestant needed only to answer one more question. One simple question stood between her and the Ł1.000 prize. "To be today's champion," the show's host smiled, "name two of Santa's reindeer." The blonde gave a sigh of relief because she had been given such an easy question. "Rudolph!" she said confidently, "and... Olive!" The studio audience started to applaud (as the little sign above their heads said to do) but the clapping quickly faded into mumbling, and the confused host replied, "Yes, we'll accept Rudolph, but could you please explain... 'Olive?!'" "You know," the woman circled her hand forward impatiently and began to sing, "Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer - had a very shiny nose. And if you ever saw it, you would even say it glowed. *Olive,* the other reindeer..."
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has 50.89 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: animal, blonde, game, money, Santa
The teacher asks a student "If you have $5 and billy takes $3, how much do you have left?" The student replies "Not enough for fucking lunch and billy ain't gonna have no got damn teeth left stealing my 3 dollars."
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has 50.89 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: math, money, student, teacher, vulgar
A man walked into a lawyer's office. "How much does your advice cost?" he asked the lawyer. "Fifty dollars for three questions," replied the lawyer. "Isn't that awfully steep?" asked the man. "Yes," the lawyer replied, "And what was your third question?"
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has 50.70 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: lawyer, money
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