Budgeting: When you work out that the money you owe is exactly the same as the money you spent.
I'm like Domino's Pizza. If I don't come in 30 minutes, the next one is free.
Deciding to take up jogging, the middle-aged man was astounded by the wide selection of jogging shoes available at the local sports shoe store.
While trying on a basic pair of jogging shoe, he noticed a minor feature and asked the clerk about it.
“What’s this little pocket thing here on the side for?”
“Oh, that’s to carry spare change so you can call your wife to come pick you up when you’ve jogged too far.”
What kind of money do polar bears use?
Ice lolly.
Chuck Norris doesn't have an ATM PIN – the machine just spits out cash – at every bank!
Vote:
Steve Austin had to be rebuilt as the Six Million Dollar Man after he looked Chuck Norris in the eye, shook his hand and then went weak at the knees.
Vote:
‘Money frees you from doing things you dislike, since I dislike doing nearly everything, money is handy.’
Groucho Marx
An economist is an expert who will know tomorrow why the things he predicted yesterday didn’t happen today.
This antique pocket watch has been in my family for generations.
It’s true.
My grandfather sold me it on his deathbed.
Yo mama is so poor, I saw her kicking a can down the street and I asked her, "What are you doing?" and she said, "Moving".