The best money jokes

If you want to know God’s opinion of money just look at the people He gave it to.
Vote: has 49.51 % from 14 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: money
Q: What do you call a blonde with a dollar on her head? A: All you can eat under a buck.
Vote: has 49.36 % from 33 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, money
Yo mama is so poor, I saw her kicking a can down the street and I asked her, "What are you doing?" and she said, "Moving".
Vote: has 49.30 % from 26 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: money, Yo mama
I went to the groceries because I wanted to buy one bottle of milk. I have found out that I´ve got only 0,50 cent and the mild has cost 1 euro. I have told the saleswoman that I have only 0,50 cent and I want to buy one bottle of milk. She has solved the situation very practically. She has taken the mop, went to the storage, cleaned the floor with spilled milk on it, she has pressed out the mop to the carry bag and gave it to me. At home I have added this milk to the coffee, I have felt something like stones or something like that under my teeth, but the coffee was really tasty. After that came my friends and the party has continued as usual.
Vote: has 48.78 % from 21 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: business, customer service, friendship, money, party
An old Jewish beggar was out on the street, begging with his tin cup. A man passed by and the beggar said to the man, "Sir, could you spare 3 cents for a cup of coffee?" And the man said, "Where do get coffee for 3 cents?" And the beggar said, "Who buys retail?"
Vote: has 48.41 % from 39 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: age, jewish, money
You will never see a car worth over $10,000 with an Obama sticker on the back.
Vote: has 48.37 % from 30 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: car, money, political, republican
A man walked into a lawyer's office. "How much does your advice cost?" he asked the lawyer. "Fifty dollars for three questions," replied the lawyer. "Isn't that awfully steep?" asked the man. "Yes," the lawyer replied, "And what was your third question?"
Vote: has 48.26 % from 16 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: lawyer, money
What leads most people into debt? Trying to catch up with people who are already there.
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More jokes about: money
A couple was having a discussion about what to see and do now that they were safely in Florida on their honeymoon. Trying to assert himself rite off the bat, he exploded, "If it weren't for my money, we wouldn't be here at all!" The wife replied, "My dear, if it weren't for your money, not only would we not be in Florida, we wouldn't on a honeymoon, nor would there be any "we" in the first place."
Vote: has 48.13 % from 23 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: money, wife
Deciding to take up jogging, the middle-aged man was astounded by the wide selection of jogging shoes available at the local sports shoe store. While trying on a basic pair of jogging shoe, he noticed a minor feature and asked the clerk about it. “What’s this little pocket thing here on the side for?” “Oh, that’s to carry spare change so you can call your wife to come pick you up when you’ve jogged too far.”
Vote: has 48.13 % from 23 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: age, health, money, old people, wife


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