If God had meant us to pay taxes, he’d have made us smart enough to fill in the return form.
Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how popular it remains?
If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
Using a credit card is a convenient way to spend money you wish you had.
A man goes to a $10 hooker and contracts crabs from her.
When he goes back to complain, the hooker laughs and says, "What do you expect for $10 -- lobster?"
Where to birds invest their money?
In the stork market!
A mink in the wardrobe often leads to a wolf at the door.
After any salary rise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you did before.
I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
What I want to know is how did a fool and his money get together in the first place?
We have our water metered and it’s very expensive.
The other day the house was on fire and we didn’t know whether it would be cheaper to let it burn.