The best money jokes

If God had meant us to pay taxes, he’d have made us smart enough to fill in the return form.
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Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how popular it remains? If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
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Using a credit card is a convenient way to spend money you wish you had.
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A man goes to a $10 hooker and contracts crabs from her. When he goes back to complain, the hooker laughs and says, "What do you expect for $10 -- lobster?"
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Where to birds invest their money? In the stork market!
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A mink in the wardrobe often leads to a wolf at the door.
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After any salary rise, you will have less money at the end of the month than you did before.
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I started out with nothing, and I still have most of it.
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What I want to know is how did a fool and his money get together in the first place?
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We have our water metered and it’s very expensive. The other day the house was on fire and we didn’t know whether it would be cheaper to let it burn.
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