The best money jokes

We have our water metered and it’s very expensive. The other day the house was on fire and we didn’t know whether it would be cheaper to let it burn.
Vote:
has 46.10 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: money
A man goes into a bank and asks the cashier to check his balance, so the cashier pushes him over.
Vote:
has 46.10 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: money
We were so poor the only way I could afford to get my suit pressed was to ride the subway during rush hour.
Vote:
has 46.10 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: money
What’s the difference between a pigeon and a tramp? The pigeon can put a deposit on a Porsche.
Vote:
has 46.10 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: money
All I ask for is the opportunity to prove that money doesn’t buy happiness...All most people want is a chance to prove money can’t make them happy.
Vote:
has 46.10 % from 8 votes. More jokes about: money
An old Jewish beggar was out on the street, begging with his tin cup. A man passed by and the beggar said to the man, "Sir, could you spare 3 cents for a cup of coffee?" And the man said, "Where do get coffee for 3 cents?" And the beggar said, "Who buys retail?"
Vote:
has 46.03 % from 64 votes. More jokes about: age, jewish, money
Q: There is a $100 bill sitting in the middle of a 4 way intersection, at one side there is a man hating dike, at another side, there is Santa, at another side there is the Easter Bunny, and at the las side there is a man loving lesbian. Who gets the $100 bill? A: The man hating dike because all others are a figure of your imagination.
Vote:
has 45.89 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: easter, life, men, money, Santa
One day Adam and his parents were at the mall. Adams mum gave him a $5 note and sent him on his way. He got a bag of chips and a drink. He went outside and his mum and dad weren't there.
Vote:
has 45.82 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: family, food, kids, mean, money
A couple was having a discussion about what to see and do now that they were safely in Florida on their honeymoon. Trying to assert himself rite off the bat, he exploded, "If it weren't for my money, we wouldn't be here at all!" The wife replied, "My dear, if it weren't for your money, not only would we not be in Florida, we wouldn't on a honeymoon, nor would there be any "we" in the first place."
Vote:
has 45.82 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: money, wife
A man in a bar sees a friend at a table, drinking by himself. Approaching the friend he comments, "You look terrible. What's the problem?" "My mother died in August," he said, "and left me $25,000." "Gee, that's tough," he replied. "Then in September," the friend continued, "My father died, leaving me $90,000." "Wow. Two parents gone in two months. No wonder you're depressed." "And last month my aunt died, and left me $15,000." "Three close family members lost in three months? How sad." "Then this month," continued, the friend, "absolutely nothing!"
Vote:
has 45.82 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar, death, money
<<<64656667
More jokes →
Page 64 of 86.