The best money jokes

Man, to friend, ‘My wife makes terrible demands for money. Two weeks ago she asked for £50. Last week she wanted £100, and yesterday it was £150.’ Friend, ‘What does she do with it all?’ Man, ‘I don’t know. I never give her any.’
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has 48.02 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: money
Yo mama so poor when I ring her buzzer she says, "bzzzzzzzzz."
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has 48.02 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: money, Yo mama
Valentines Slogans 10. I admire your strength, I admire your spunk, But the thing I like best, is getting you drunk. 9. Our love will never become cold and hollow, Unless, one day, you refuse to swallow. 8. I bought this Valentine's card at the store, In hopes that, later, you'd be my whore. 7. This feels so good, it feels so right, I just wish it wasn't $250 a night. 6. You're a woman of style, you're a woman of class, Especially when I'm spanking, your big-round-fat ass. 5. Before I met you, my heart was so famished, But now I'm fulfilled. . . SO MAKE ME A SAMICH!!! 4. Through all the things that came to pass, Our love has grown. . . but so's your ass. 3. You're a honey. . . and you're a cutie, I just wished you had J-Lo's "booty". 2. I don't wanna be sappy or silly or corny, So right to the point, let's do it, I'm horny! 1. If you think that hickey looks like a blister. You should check out the one that I gave to your sister!
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has 47.72 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, love, money, sex, Valentines day
Little Johnny was in Maths class when his teacher asked him: "Johnny, if your Mother had to repay a loan of $100,000, and you gave her $50,000, what would she need to repay the loan?" Johnny replied, "To repay the loan? $50,000 more. To stay alive? CPR."
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has 47.63 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: black humor, little Johnny, math, money, vulgar
Q: What do you call a blonde with a dollar on her head? A: All you can eat under a buck.
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has 47.46 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: dirty, money
Three boys were walking along the beach one day when they see a cave. The first boy goes in and is looking at a banknote on a big rock when a ghostly voice calls out '' I am the ghost of Auntie Abel and this five dollars stays on the table!'' The second boy goes in and is reaching for the money when the same thing happens again. The third boy goes in ,sees the five dollars and cries out,''I am the ghost of David Crockett and this five dollars goes in my pocket!''
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has 47.37 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: money
That bull you sold me is a lazy good-for-nothing. I told you he was a bum steer.
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has 47.37 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal, money
What do you get when you cross a rabbit with a millionaire? A bunny with money.
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has 47.37 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: animal, money
Ted said to his friend, 'can you lend me $10?' 'But I only have $8,' his friend replied. That's OK, you can always owe me the other $2!
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has 46.87 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: money
‘How to make a million dollars: First, get a million dollars…’ Steve Martin
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has 46.54 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: money
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