What does a blonde in a supermarket bending over? Looking for low prices!
The best way of saving money is to forget who you borrowed it from.
Why is money green? Because people usually pick it before it's ripe!
I got this antique watch from my grandfather on his deathbed – he put up one hell of a fight for it.
Jesus saves. But wouldn’t it have been better if he had invested?
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I saw a tramp who was so broke he was standing on the corner shouting, ‘Will work for cardboard and a magic marker!’
We were so poor the only way I could afford to get my suit pressed was to ride the subway during rush hour.
‘He’s spending a year dead for tax purposes.’ Douglas Adams
A husband gives his wife a complete mink outfit for her birthday – a 12-bore shotgun and some traps.