What do you get if you cross a sorceress with a millionaire?
A very witch person.
Why is money called dough?
Because we all knead it.
Where do fish keep their money?
In a river bank!
My grandfather came from a very poor family.
The only time he tasted meat was when he bit his tongue.
We were so poor we couldn’t get rid of the roaches in our house because they paid half the rent.
A business man called and had a question about the documents he needed in order to fly to China.
After a lengthy discussion about passports, I reminded him he needed a visa.
"Oh no I don't, I've been to China many times and never had to have one of those."
I double checked, and sure enough, his stay required a visa.
When I told him this he said, "Look, I've been to China four times and every time they have accepted my American Express."
Johnny collected lots of money from trick or treating and he went to the candy store to buy some chocolate. ' You should give that money to charity,' said the shopkeeper.
'No, I'll buy the chocolate. You give the money to charity!'
Why did the mean teacher walk around with her purse open?
She'd read there was going to be some change in the weather.
If you owe the bank $100, that's your problem.
If you owe the bank $100 million, that's the bank's problem.
Why do people like to borrow money in Alaska?
Because they have Fairbanks!