The best money jokes

Q: What do the Jews hate most about the Holocaust? A: The cost.
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has 49.09 % from 124 votes. More jokes about: black humor, jewish, money
Q: Who was the best business woman in the Bible? A: Pharoah's daughter – she drew a profit from the rush at the bank.
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has 49.00 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: bible, business, money, women
Chuck Norris doesn't need money he gets everything for free.
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has 48.37 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, money
So this blonde woman walks into a shop and asks the owner "Have you got a phone I can borrow as I have a bit of money and I want to call my mom." The owner says "yes" and takes her to the back of the room as he realized she was a blonde so he wanted a blowjob. So they go in the back of the room and the guy took his pants off and took out his penis. So the woman gave him the money and she put her mouth on his penis and shouted: "HEY MOM ARE YOU IN THERE!"
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has 48.37 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: blonde, money, phone, sex, stupid
A man walks into a New York City bank and says he wants to borrow $2,000 for three weeks. The loan officer asks him what kind of collateral he has. The man says "I've got a Rolls Royce -- keep it until the loan is paid off -- here are the keys." The loan officer promptly has the car driven into the bank's underground parking for safe keeping, and gives the man $2,000. Three weeks later the man comes into the bank, pays back the $2,000 loan, plus $10 interest, and regains possession of the Rolls Royce. The loan officer asks him, "Sir, if I may ask, why would a man who drives a Rolls Royce need to borrow two thousand dollars?" The man answers, "I had to go to Europe for three weeks, and where else could I store a Rolls Royce for that long for ten dollars?"
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has 48.26 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: money
What leads most people into debt? Trying to catch up with people who are already there.
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has 48.26 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: money
Yo' Mama is so poor, when she goes to the park, the pigeons throw her bread.
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has 48.26 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: animal, insulting, money, Yo mama
A couple was having a discussion about what to see and do now that they were safely in Florida on their honeymoon. Trying to assert himself rite off the bat, he exploded, "If it weren't for my money, we wouldn't be here at all!" The wife replied, "My dear, if it weren't for your money, not only would we not be in Florida, we wouldn't on a honeymoon, nor would there be any "we" in the first place."
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has 48.13 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: money, wife
A man in a bar sees a friend at a table, drinking by himself. Approaching the friend he comments, "You look terrible. What's the problem?" "My mother died in August," he said, "and left me $25,000." "Gee, that's tough," he replied. "Then in September," the friend continued, "My father died, leaving me $90,000." "Wow. Two parents gone in two months. No wonder you're depressed." "And last month my aunt died, and left me $15,000." "Three close family members lost in three months? How sad." "Then this month," continued, the friend, "absolutely nothing!"
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has 48.13 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, bar, death, money
Little Johnny was in Maths class when his teacher asked him: "Johnny, if your Mother had to repay a loan of $100,000, and you gave her $50,000, what would she need to repay the loan?" Johnny replied, "To repay the loan? $50,000 more. To stay alive? CPR."
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has 48.11 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: black humor, little Johnny, math, money, vulgar
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