The best money jokes

A man walked into a lawyer's office. "How much does your advice cost?" he asked the lawyer. "Fifty dollars for three questions," replied the lawyer. "Isn't that awfully steep?" asked the man. "Yes," the lawyer replied, "And what was your third question?"
Vote:
has 48.26 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: lawyer, money
What leads most people into debt? Trying to catch up with people who are already there.
Vote:
has 48.26 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: money
An old Jewish beggar was out on the street, begging with his tin cup. A man passed by and the beggar said to the man, "Sir, could you spare 3 cents for a cup of coffee?" And the man said, "Where do get coffee for 3 cents?" And the beggar said, "Who buys retail?"
Vote:
has 48.18 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: age, jewish, money
A couple was having a discussion about what to see and do now that they were safely in Florida on their honeymoon. Trying to assert himself rite off the bat, he exploded, "If it weren't for my money, we wouldn't be here at all!" The wife replied, "My dear, if it weren't for your money, not only would we not be in Florida, we wouldn't on a honeymoon, nor would there be any "we" in the first place."
Vote:
has 48.13 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: money, wife
Deciding to take up jogging, the middle-aged man was astounded by the wide selection of jogging shoes available at the local sports shoe store. While trying on a basic pair of jogging shoe, he noticed a minor feature and asked the clerk about it. “What’s this little pocket thing here on the side for?” “Oh, that’s to carry spare change so you can call your wife to come pick you up when you’ve jogged too far.”
Vote:
has 48.13 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: age, health, money, old people, wife
Q: Why did the silly kid try to feed pennies to the cat? A: Because his mother told him to put money in the kitty.
Vote:
has 48.13 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: cat, kids, kitty, money
The banker fell overboard from a friend's sailboat. The friend grabbed a life preserver, held it up, not knowing if the banker could swim, and shouted, "Can you float alone?" "Obviously," the banker replied, "but this is a heck of a time to talk business."
Vote:
has 48.02 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: money
A worker approaches his employer and holds up his last wage packet. ‘This is two hundred pounds short,’ he says. ‘I know,’ says the employer. ‘But last week I overpaid you two hundred pounds, and you didn’t say anything.’ ‘Well,’ says the worker. ‘I don’t mind an occasional mistake. But when it gets to be a habit, I feel I have to call it to your attention.’
Vote:
has 48.02 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: money
Money talks – all mine says is ‘Goodbye!’
Vote:
has 48.02 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: money
A man walks into a bar and orders a triple brandy with a double whisky chaser. ‘You know I shouldn’t really be drinking like this with what I’ve got,’ says the man to the barman. ‘Why? What have you got?’ asks the barman. ‘Fifty pence,’ replies the man.
Vote:
has 48.02 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: money
<<<63646566
More jokes →
Page 63 of 84.