The best money jokes

Man, to friend, ‘My wife makes terrible demands for money. Two weeks ago she asked for £50. Last week she wanted £100, and yesterday it was £150.’ Friend, ‘What does she do with it all?’ Man, ‘I don’t know. I never give her any.’
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Yo' Mama is so poor, her tv only has two channels: on and not working.
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More jokes about: insulting, money, work, Yo mama
Discussion between two future lawyers: I don’t understand why they rejected me! I told them that I want to be a lawyer because I respect the law, that I’d give my life for the Constitution and that I want justice for my clients. What did you tell them? I told them that I want to be a lawyer because of my hands! You’re hands? What do you mean? Well, I looked in my hands and there were no money...
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More jokes about: lawyer, money, wife
‘How to make a million dollars: First, get a million dollars…’ Steve Martin
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If God had meant us to pay taxes, he’d have made us smart enough to fill in the return form.
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Despite the cost of living, have you noticed how popular it remains? If you think nobody cares, try missing a couple of payments.
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Using a credit card is a convenient way to spend money you wish you had.
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Q: Why did the Asian cross the road? A: Because he had no car!
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More jokes about: asian, car, money, racist
William: May I have some money for the man crying outside ? Mum: What crying man ? William: The one that's crying, 'Ice cream! Ice Cream !'
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More jokes about: food, money
A man walks into a New York City bank and says he wants to borrow $2,000 for three weeks. The loan officer asks him what kind of collateral he has. The man says "I've got a Rolls Royce -- keep it until the loan is paid off -- here are the keys." The loan officer promptly has the car driven into the bank's underground parking for safe keeping, and gives the man $2,000. Three weeks later the man comes into the bank, pays back the $2,000 loan, plus $10 interest, and regains possession of the Rolls Royce. The loan officer asks him, "Sir, if I may ask, why would a man who drives a Rolls Royce need to borrow two thousand dollars?" The man answers, "I had to go to Europe for three weeks, and where else could I store a Rolls Royce for that long for ten dollars?"
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