All I ask for is the opportunity to prove that money doesn’t buy happiness...All most people want is a chance to prove money can’t make them happy.
Budgeting: When you work out that the money you owe is exactly the same as the money you spent.
Q: What do the Jews hate most about the Holocaust?
A: The cost.
Vote:
Q: Who was the best business woman in the Bible?
A: Pharoah's daughter – she drew a profit from the rush at the bank.
A man goes to a $10 hooker and contracts crabs from her.
When he goes back to complain, the hooker laughs and says, "What do you expect for $10 -- lobster?"
I like black people . . .
. . I used to have some black friends 'till my dad sold them!
Vote:
A man hires a taxi to take him to court for his bankruptcy trial.
When they arrive he says to the driver, ‘Well, I suppose you might as well come in too.’
Where do fish keep their money?
In a river bank!
‘How to make a million dollars: First, get a million dollars…’ Steve Martin
This antique pocket watch has been in my family for generations.
It’s true.
My grandfather sold me it on his deathbed.