The best morbid jokes

Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
Vote: has 69.85 % from 55 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, life, men, morbid, time
Q: What is the difference between baby and knitting? A: Knitting is weaved by two needles and one ball, but the baby has been made with one needle and two balls!
Vote: has 69.25 % from 136 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: baby, black humor, morbid
Q: How many dead babies does it take to shingle a roof? A: Depends on how thin you slice them.
Vote: has 67.91 % from 137 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, dead baby, morbid
Q: Why did the cannibal tax auditor get disciplined? A: For buttering up her clients.
Vote: has 66.21 % from 45 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, morbid, tax
Q: What was the one thing Hitler did well? A: Kill himself.
Vote: has 66.16 % from 52 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: death, Hitler, morbid
Q: Why did Hitler kill himself? A: He saw his gas bill.
Vote: has 66.03 % from 96 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, Hitler, jewish, money, morbid
Q: What did Hitler get his granddaughter for her 5th birthday? A: An easy bake oven.
Vote: has 65.91 % from 41 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: birthday, black humor, Hitler, morbid
Q: What's the difference between morbid and black humour? A: Well, black humour is like 10 children in one rubbish bin, whereas morbid humour is like one child in 10 rubbish bins.
Vote: has 65.86 % from 48 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, kids, morbid
Q: What is the difference between a Jew and a boy scout? A: the boy Scott gets to go home after camp.
Vote: has 64.35 % from 59 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, jewish, kids, morbid
Q: How many dead babies does it take to change a lightbulb? A: I don't know, there are twenty in my basement, and my basement light still isn't fixed.
Vote: has 64.12 % from 186 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, dead baby, light bulb, morbid