The best morbid jokes

Q: What was Hitler's favorite drink? A: Concentrated jews.
Vote: has 68.76 % from 94 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, death, Hitler, jewish, morbid
Give a man a match, and he'll be warm for a few hours. Set him on fire, and he will be warm for the rest of his life.
Vote: has 68.73 % from 49 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, life, men, morbid, time
Q: Why did the cannibal tax auditor get disciplined? A: For buttering up her clients.
Vote: has 66.64 % from 42 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, morbid, tax
Q: How many dead babies does it take to change a lightbulb? A: I don't know, there are twenty in my basement, and my basement light still isn't fixed.
Vote: has 65.10 % from 157 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, dead baby, light bulb, morbid
Q: What was the one thing Hitler did well? A: Kill himself.
Vote: has 64.34 % from 39 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: death, Hitler, morbid
An alien lord lands in the middle of the desert and demands to see the ruler of all this planet and make it bow to his will, except he made two grave mistakes, first he landed in the middle of the desert, in the middle of the night and second he didn't know anything about the inhabitants. So he approaches the first life form he finds which was a gas pump and demands it to take him to the leader. Well it's a gas pump so it doesn't say anything obviously, getting aggravated he demands again but this time pulls his laser pistol and says "This is the last time I ask earthling!" Just then his general whispers to him "Hey calm down buddy don't mess with this guy, he's a badass motherfucker". Shrugging off his comrade he furiously demands a response and after brief moments of silence, he blasts the pump and BOOM! A huge explosion occurs and they land a mile away. As they sit there dusting themselves off the alien lord looks at the general and asks "We have conquered the cosmos and all sorts of life forms, I've never seen you sweat in the face of an adversary, how did you know this guy was such a badass motherfucker?" The general looks over and says "Man if you could wrap your dick around your body 3 times and then plug it in your ear, you are a badass motherfucker."
Vote: has 64.28 % from 49 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: death, desert island, life, morbid, vulgar
Q: Why did Hitler kill himself? A: He saw his gas bill.
Vote: has 63.81 % from 74 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, Hitler, jewish, money, morbid
What has more brains than a dead baby? The wall behind it.
Vote: has 63.41 % from 253 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, dead baby, morbid
Q: What did Hitler get his granddaughter for her 5th birthday? A: An easy bake oven.
Vote: has 63.22 % from 31 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: birthday, black humor, Hitler, morbid
Q: What's the difference between morbid and black humour? A: Well, black humour is like 10 children in one rubbish bin, whereas morbid humour is like one child in 10 rubbish bins.
Vote: has 63.07 % from 44 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: black humor, kids, morbid