A ship with 30 sailors and one woman strands on a desert island. After one month the woman says: "I can not proceed in this way." And she suicides herself. After another month, the sailors say: "We can not proceed in this way." And they bury the woman. The next month, the sailors say: "We can not proceed in this way." And they dig up the woman.
What's the difference between a dead baby and a trampoline? When you jump on a trampoline, you take your boots off.
Ozzy Osbourne bites the heads off of bats. Chuck Norris bites the heads off of Siberian Tigers.
What do you call a dead baby with no arms and no legs hanging on your wall? Art.
Q: What's more offensive than a truck full of dead babies? A: Taking them out with pitchforks.
Q: How do you make a dead baby float? A: One scoop of ice cream and Two scoops of dead baby.
Q: How do you fit 100 Jews in a car? A: Three in the back, two in the front and the rest in the ashtray.
Q: What was so bad about being a black Jew? A: You had to sit in the back of the oven.
Michael: "What treat do eye doctors give out on Halloween?" Matthew: "I don't know. What?" Michael: "Candy corneas."
Chuck Norris never has to wax his skis because they're always slick with blood.