When you have a man staring at a naked Playboy model, be sure that he doesn’t wonder if she knows cooking, or if she plays piano or if she has a nice personality either!
Chuck Norris can go Platinum on a Blank CD.
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If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it, a hipster will buy it on vinyl.
Taylor swift: so he calls me up and he's all like "I still love you" and I'm like...
Wait, is this Connor, Patrick, Joe, Luca, Taylor, John, Cory, Toby, Jake, Garret, Eddie, or Harry?
Q: What 80's rock band is banned from New Orleans and why?
A: The Scorpions. Every time they're in town, they rock you like a hurricane.
I like my girl to be Hannah on the streets but Miley in the sheets.
What do the spice girls and a pack of M+Ms have in common?
There are assorted colors, but they all taste the same.
Chuck Norris is the reason why George Michael is never gonna dance again.
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Chuck Norris made the Beatles cross Abbey Road.
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Chuck Norris doesn't do Burn Down charts, he does Smack Down charts.
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