When you have a man staring at a naked Playboy model, be sure that he doesn’t wonder if she knows cooking, or if she plays piano or if she has a nice personality either!
Chuck Norris can go Platinum on a Blank CD.
If a tree falls in the woods and no one is around to hear it, a hipster will buy it on vinyl.
Taylor swift: so he calls me up and he's all like "I still love you" and I'm like... Wait, is this Connor, Patrick, Joe, Luca, Taylor, John, Cory, Toby, Jake, Garret, Eddie, or Harry?
Q: What 80's rock band is banned from New Orleans and why? A: The Scorpions. Every time they're in town, they rock you like a hurricane.
I like my girl to be Hannah on the streets but Miley in the sheets.
What do the spice girls and a pack of M+Ms have in common? There are assorted colors, but they all taste the same.
Chuck Norris is the reason why George Michael is never gonna dance again.
Chuck Norris made the Beatles cross Abbey Road.
Chuck Norris doesn't do Burn Down charts, he does Smack Down charts.