The best music jokes

Why couldn't Usain Bolt listen to his music? "Because he broke the record."
Vote: has 65.56 % from 140 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: music, sport
A Guy goes into a bar with his pet octopus and says, "I bet $50 that no one here has a musical instrument that this octopus can't play." The people in the bar look around and someone fetches out an old guitar. The octopus has a look, picks it up, tunes up the strings and starts playing the guitar. The octopus' owner pockets the fifty bucks. The next guy comes up with a trumpet, octopus takes the horn, loosens up the keys, licks it's lips and starts playing a jazz solo. The guy hands over another fifty bucks to the octopus' owner. The bar owner has been watching all this and disappears out back, coming back a few moments later with a set of bagpipes under his arm. He puts them on the bar and says to the guy, "Now if your octopus can play that I'll give you a hundred dollars." The octopus takes a look at the bagpipes, lifts it up, turns it over, and has another look from a different angle. Puzzled, the octopus' owner comes up and says, "What are you pissing around for? Hurry up and play the damn thing!" The octopus says, "Play it? If I can figure out how to get it's pajama's off, I'm gonna screw it!"
Vote: has 65.36 % from 94 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, bar, disgusting, money, music
Q. What is Snoop Dog's favorite weather? A. Drizzle
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More jokes about: life, music, weather
Chuck Norris made the Beatles cross Abbey Road.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, music
How do you know a man is really a bad dancer? When he can still step on Dolly Parton's toes.
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More jokes about: celebrity, men, music
Chuck Norris told Wiz Khalifa what it is.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, music
Michael Jackson does moonwalk because he doesn't have time to turn and run away from Chuck Norris.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, music, time
Chuck Norris won a guitar battle with a violin.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, music
Chuck Norris can strum your pain with his fingers, tell your whole life with his words – but mainly just kill you softly with his song.
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More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, life, music
Q: What do you get if you cross a fridge and a hipster playlist? A: Cool music!
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More jokes about: hipster, music