Peter: Why was the Olympian not able to listen to music? Matthew: Why? Peter: Because he broke the record!
Nothing beats a beautiful woman who can sing... except Chris Brown.
Ozzy Ozbourne once bit the head off a bat. Not one to be outdone, Chuck Norris bit the head off Batman!
Chuck Norris can make a rap video without booties and cars.
When you have a man staring at a naked Playboy model, be sure that he doesn’t wonder if she knows cooking, or if she plays piano or if she has a nice personality either!
I thought I was at a Nicki Minaj concert for 20 minutes before I realized I was just watching a homeless man yell at a pigeon.
Every time you're sad, just remember that somewhere out there a tree grew for years and years, but was then destroyed and became material for a Justin Bieber notebook.
Chuck Norris can go Platinum on a Blank CD.
Chuck Norris is the reason why George Michael is never gonna dance again.
What do the spice girls and a pack of M+Ms have in common? There are assorted colors, but they all taste the same.