Chuck Norris made the Beatles cross Abbey Road.
Chuck Norris doesn't do Burn Down charts, he does Smack Down charts.
Yo mamma is stupid she bought tickets to Flo ridas concert but instead she went to Florida.
A Guy goes into a bar with his pet octopus and says, "I bet $50 that no one here has a musical instrument that this octopus can't play." The people in the bar look around and someone fetches out an old guitar. The octopus has a look, picks it up, tunes up the strings and starts playing the guitar. The octopus' owner pockets the fifty bucks. The next guy comes up with a trumpet, octopus takes the horn, loosens up the keys, licks it's lips and starts playing a jazz solo. The guy hands over another fifty bucks to the octopus' owner. The bar owner has been watching all this and disappears out back, coming back a few moments later with a set of bagpipes under his arm. He puts them on the bar and says to the guy, "Now if your octopus can play that I'll give you a hundred dollars." The octopus takes a look at the bagpipes, lifts it up, turns it over, and has another look from a different angle. Puzzled, the octopus' owner comes up and says, "What are you pissing around for? Hurry up and play the damn thing!" The octopus says, "Play it? If I can figure out how to get it's pajama's off, I'm gonna screw it!"
Yo mama so stupid, I said, "Why do you have 2 quarters in your ears?" And she said, "I am listening to 50 cent."
Accordion to research, 9 out of 10 people don't notice when you replace words with random musical instruments.
Knock knock. Who's there? Kenya. Kenya who? Keeeenya feeel the loooove tonight?
Q. What is Snoop Dog's favorite weather? A. Drizzle
Why couldn't Usain Bolt listen to his music? "Because he broke the record."
Q. What do Ethiopians and Yoko Ono have in common? A. They both live off dead Beatles.