Chuck Norris created Heavy Metal when he was upset.
A Guy goes into a bar with his pet octopus and says, "I bet $50 that no one here has a musical instrument that this octopus can't play." The people in the bar look around and someone fetches out an old guitar. The octopus has a look, picks it up, tunes up the strings and starts playing the guitar. The octopus' owner pockets the fifty bucks. The next guy comes up with a trumpet, octopus takes the horn, loosens up the keys, licks it's lips and starts playing a jazz solo. The guy hands over another fifty bucks to the octopus' owner. The bar owner has been watching all this and disappears out back, coming back a few moments later with a set of bagpipes under his arm. He puts them on the bar and says to the guy, "Now if your octopus can play that I'll give you a hundred dollars." The octopus takes a look at the bagpipes, lifts it up, turns it over, and has another look from a different angle. Puzzled, the octopus' owner comes up and says, "What are you pissing around for? Hurry up and play the damn thing!" The octopus says, "Play it? If I can figure out how to get it's pajama's off, I'm gonna screw it!"
Q: What kind of music do elves like best? A: "Wrap" music!
Friendly reminder that Adele and Taylor Swift are the same age, yet one is pregnant and another stuck in middle school.
How do you know a man is really a bad dancer? When he can still step on Dolly Parton's toes.
What South American dance do cows like to do? The Rump-a.
The Beatles originally sang "All you need is Chuck Norris".
Chuck Norris told Wiz Khalifa what it is.
What do you call a rabbit who is real cool? A hip hopper.
Michael Jackson does moonwalk because he doesn't have time to turn and run away from Chuck Norris.