Q: What's the difference between Elvis and a smart Liberal? A: Elvis has been sighted.
When you're driving and Nicki Minaj is on all 3 radio stations at the exact same time, there's nothing left to do except crash your car.
Q: Why was the guitar teacher arrested? A: For fingering a minor.
Accordion to research, 9 out of 10 people don't notice when you replace words with random musical instruments.
Ozzy Osbourne once snorted a line of ants. Chuck Norris once snorted a line of bricks.
I thought I was at a Nicki Minaj concert for 20 minutes before I realized I was just watching a homeless man yell at a pigeon.
Alfie was listening to his sister practice her singing. "Sis," he said, "I wish you'd sing Christmas carols." "Thats nice of you, Alfie," she replied, "but why?" Alfie replied, "Because then I'd only have to hear your voice once a year!"
Chuck Norris can beatbox with a triangle.
Chuck Norris killed the devil and is selling his own line of Picks of Destiny, available in all Chuck Norris approved guitar shops.
Chuck Norris once won a rap battle against Eminem. He just kept saying "Chuck Norris" in a raplike-fashion. The crowds' heads exploded from amazement.