Gordan Ramsey:Theres more smoke in this kitchen than snopp dogg tour bus.
"If I could be someone for one day I would be Justin Beiber and run off a cliff"
Most of our music store customers have a story about their old vinyl collection. Once, a man asked how much a record cost. My coworker quoted him the price, then added, "But there's a surcharge if we have to listen to how your mother made you throw out all your old vinyl records."
Kim and Kanye naming their baby North West is just like Brad Pitt naming his kid Arm.
There once was a gal named Lewinsky, Who played music like a Stravinsky. "Twas "Hail to the Chief" On this flute made of beef. That stole the front page from Kaczynski. Said Bill Clinton to young Ms. Lewinsky, "We don't want to leave clues like Kaczynski. Since you look such a mess, Use the hem of your dress And wipe that goo off of your chinsky." Lewinsky and Clinton have shown. What Kaczynski must surely have known: That an intern is better. Than a bomb in a letter. Given the choice of how to be blown.
I went to an ISIS birthday party once. The musical chairs were a bit slow but fuck me the pass the parcel was quick.
What do the spice girls and a pack of M+Ms have in common? There are assorted colors, but they all taste the same.
Priest: Kim, do you take Kanye to be your lawfully wedded husband to love and cherish? Kim: I.. *Kanye grabs mic* Kanye: She do.
All these Miley Cyrus jokes are whoreable.
Apple pays Chuck Norris 99 cents every time he listens to a song.