Accordion to research, 9 out of 10 people don't notice when you replace words with random musical instruments.
What is Jehovah's wiseness favorite band? The Doors.
I'm so hipster, even I've never heard of my favorite band.
Q: What's the difference between Elvis and a smart Liberal? A: Elvis has been sighted.
Why couldn't Usain Bolt listen to his music? "Because he broke the record."
A kindergarten teacher spent a few minutes each morning teaching a new word to her class. She would tell the class the word and its meaning, then ask them to come up with a few sentences that included the word for the day. One day, the teacher said that the word for the day was "frugal." She explained that frugal had to do with saving, and a frugal person is one who saves. She then asked the class to come up with a sentence for the word. The class seemed kind of stumped, and sat there in silence for a few seconds until one little girl raised her hand. Instead of just a sentence, she came up with a little story: "There once was a princess who was stuck in a tall tower. There was a spell on all of the doors, so she couldn’t get out. One day, she heard a young prince who was walking by and singing. The princess called out of the tower, 'Frugal me! Frugal me!' So, the prince frugaled her and they lived happily ever after."
A little boy was learning about God in his church, and he was talking to his mother about it. She, not wanting to place prejudice in the little boy’s mind, sat him and said: “God is not a man or a woman, and God is not black or white.” To which the child responded, “Well, then is God Michael Jackson?”
Chuck Norris can play the saxophone... while holding his breath.
Q. Why did Michael Jackson call Boys II Men? A. He thought it was a home delivery service.
What are cows favorite party games? MOO-sical chairs.