# The best old people jokes

Three old guys are out walking. First one says, “Windy, isn’t it?” Second one says, “No, its Thursday!” Third one says, “So am I. Let’s go get a beer.”
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has 60.21 % from 61 votes. More jokes about: beer, old people, weather
An old man was accounting manager in a company. Every day when he was coming to office, at his desk, he was opening the drawer, seeing something in it very carefully, then he was closing the drawer back. After twenty years of work at the same position, one day he died. After his funeral, his colleagues came to his office to check out what was in his drawer, they opened the drawer, in a piece of paper very bold it was written "Debit Left, Credit Right"
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has 59.80 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: accountant, funeral, old people, time, work
A married couple has invoked the ghosts, after 15 minutes of invoking has appeared only the face of the grandmother of the man. The married couple has asked the grandmother together: "What would you like to tell us dear granny? " The granny has said: "I am looking forward to seeing you soon. Have a nice day!"
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has 59.75 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: couple, marriage, mean, old people, time
The government recently noticed that it had too many generals in the army and offered an early retirement bonus. They promised any general who retired right away, his full annual benefits plus \$10,000 for every inch measured in a straight line along the retiring general's body between any two points he chose. The first general accepted. He asked the pension man to measure from the top of his head to the tip of his toes 6 feet. He walked out with a check for \$720,000. The second general asked them to measure from the tip of his outstretched hands to his toes 8 feet. He walked away with a check \$960,000. When the third general was asked where to measure, he told the pension man, "from my index finger of the left foot to the thumb, that's it." The pension man said that would be fine but "My God!" he said, "where is your thumb?!" The general replied, "Back in Iraq!"
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has 58.58 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: military, money, old people, political
Doctor: "Sir, I have some bad news; you have been diagnosed with cancer and Alzheimers." Old man: "Well, at least I don't have cancer!"
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has 58.56 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: health, old people
Nurse: "We need a stool sample and a urine sample." Old man to his wife: "What did she say?" Wife to husband: "They want your underwear."
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has 58.26 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: doctor, husband, nurse, old people, wife
Games for when we are older: 1) Sag, You're it. 2) Pin the Toupee on the bald guy. 3) 20 questions shouted into your good ear. 4) Kick the bucket. 5) Red Rover, Red Rover, the nurse says Bend Over. 6) Doc Doc Goose. 7) Simon says something incoherent. 8) Hide and go pee. 9) Spin the Bottle of Mylanta. 10) Musical recliners.
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