The best phone jokes

Yo mama's so fat, she's got more chins than a Hong Kong phonebook.
Vote: has 51.34 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: fat, insulting, phone, Yo mama
Did you hear about the music app that is preloaded on every iPhone 6 plus? GarageBend.
Vote: has 50.70 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: IT, music, phone, technology
Yo' Mama is so fat, she has to use a telephone pole as a tampon.
Vote: has 49.86 % from 6 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: fat, phone, Yo mama
Chuck Norris told his iPhone 2g it was a iPhone 4. He can now multi task and use face time.
Vote: has 49.61 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, phone, time
The manager of the liquor store gets a phone call at 8 pm. "At what time do you open tomorrow?" asked the caller. "At nine," he answered. The phone rings at midnight "What time do you open ... in the morning?" "At nine". The phone rings at 4 in the morning "Whatt tim do ya openn in the mornin?" "I told you before at nine". "Imm just inn aa hury cause i got locked in tha stor las nite."
Vote: has 49.51 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, phone, time
There were five brothers named somebody, nobody, anybody mad and brain. One day somebody and nobody were fighting, and just at that moment the anybody called police. The police picked up the phone, and said hello. Then Anybody: "Hello sir! I want to inform you that somebody is beating nobody." Police: "Sorry!" Anybody: "Sir somebody is beating nobody" Police: "Are you mad? Who are you? What's your name?" Anybody: "No, sir mad is dancing, I am anybody" Police: "Shut up you idiot. What are you saying? Where have your brain gone? Is it lost?" Anybody: "No, sir brain is not lost. Brain is in the bathroom."
Vote: has 49.30 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: communication, cop, family, phone, stupid
An elderly Floridian called 911 on her cell phone to report that her car has been broken into. She is hysterical as she explains her situation to the dispatcher: "They've stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the brake pedal and even the accelerator!" she cried. The dispatcher said, "Stay calm. An officer is on the way." A few minutes later, the officer radios in. "Disregard." He says. "She got in the back-seat by mistake."
Vote: has 48.26 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, cop, phone
There's a senior citizen driving on the highway. His wife calls him on his cell phone and in a worried voice says, "George, be careful! I just heard on the radio that there was a madman driving the wrong way on Route 110!" George says, "I know, but there isn't just one, there are hundreds!"
Vote: has 48.26 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: driving, old people, phone, stupid, wife
What do you get if you cross an iPhone and a fridge? Cool music.
Vote: has 48.26 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: IT, music, phone
A blonde walked into a doctor's office with two burnt ears. The doctor asked her, "What happened to your ear?" The blonde replied, "I was ironing and the phone rang, so instead of picking up the phone, I picked up the iron and put it to my ear. Still not satisfied, the doctor asked, "Well, what happened to the other ear?" "The sucker called again!"
Vote: has 48.02 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, doctor, phone