A man phones home from the office and tells his wife, "Something has just come up. I need to go fishing with the boss for the weekend.
We leave right away, so can you pack my clothes, my fishing equipment, and my blue silk pajamas? I'll be home in an hour to pick them up."
He hurries home, grabs everything and rushes off.
Sunday night, he returns.
His wife asks, "Did you have a good trip?"
"Oh yes, great! I think I really impressed the boss. But you forgot to pack my blue silk pajamas."
"Oh, no I didn't. I put them in your tackle box."
Teens are at an awkward stage in their lives.
They know how to make phone calls they just don't know how to end them.
Police Officer says "We'll never forget 9/11..."
In my mind: "I hope not It's your damn number!"
Chuck Norris put his phone on air-plane mode and flew it.
Vote:
Chuck Norris was about to die... until the Grim Reaper phoned in sick.
Vote:
Moody was awakened by the telephone at four A.M.
It was his Ku Klux Klan buddy, Crumm, calling long distance from Montgomery.
"What's the matter?" asked Moody.
"Are you in trouble?"
"No!" said Crumm.
"What do you want, then?"
"Nothing!"
"Then how come you are calling me in the middle of the night?" asked Moody.
"Cause!" said the other redneck, "the rates are cheaper!"
Phone talk:
"Is your boss there?"
"No, he left on a trip."
"A recovery trip, huh?"
"I don’t think so... He took his wife with him!"
Baby, if you were an iPhone 6, I would tap you all day!
Why is the Apple still reporting record profits from iPhone sales?
Because iPhone users are just as oblivious to the looming recession as they are to the people around them.
Pavlov walks into a bar.
The phone rings, and he says, "Damn, I forgot to feed the dog."