Baby, if you were an iPhone 6, I would tap you all day!
Chuck Norris put his phone on air-plane mode and flew it.
A man phones home from the office and tells his wife, "Something has just come up. I need to go fishing with the boss for the weekend. We leave right away, so can you pack my clothes, my fishing equipment, and my blue silk pajamas? I'll be home in an hour to pick them up." He hurries home, grabs everything and rushes off. Sunday night, he returns. His wife asks, "Did you have a good trip?" "Oh yes, great! I think I really impressed the boss. But you forgot to pack my blue silk pajamas." "Oh, no I didn't. I put them in your tackle box."
Teens are at an awkward stage in their lives. They know how to make phone calls they just don't know how to end them.
Police Officer says "We'll never forget 9/11..." In my mind: "I hope not It's your damn number!"
Every mobile phone user has complained like this: Don't text me while I'm in the middle of texting you, because now I have to change the whole text.
Chuck Norris was about to die... until the Grim Reaper phoned in sick.
Why is the Apple still reporting record profits from iPhone sales? Because iPhone users are just as oblivious to the looming recession as they are to the people around them.
When Chuck Norris calls 911 it's to ask if everything is ok.
A woman came home to find her retired husband waving a rolled up newspaper round his head. 'What are you doing dear?' 'Swatting flies - I got 3 males and 2 females' 'How do you know what sex they were?' The man very confidently replied, "Easy - 3 were on the beer and 2 were on the phone."