The best phone jokes

My mate down the pub asked me last night "Why do you have so many sex noises saved to your phone?" I said, "It's for sound effects during sex." He asked, "Your wife a bit quiet in the sack?" I replied, "No, I work in a morgue."
has 54.59 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: phone, sex
Why did the blonde burn her ear? The phone rang while she was ironing!
has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: blonde, phone
Yo mama so fat she stepped on a weight machine and someone said "hey that's my phone number"!
has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: fat, phone, Yo mama
Yo' Mama is so fat, she has to make a long distance call to talk to herself.
has 54.26 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: fat, phone, Yo mama
A man phones home from the office and tells his wife, "Something has just come up. I need to go fishing with the boss for the weekend. We leave right away, so can you pack my clothes, my fishing equipment, and my blue silk pajamas? I'll be home in an hour to pick them up." He hurries home, grabs everything and rushes off. Sunday night, he returns. His wife asks, "Did you have a good trip?" "Oh yes, great! I think I really impressed the boss. But you forgot to pack my blue silk pajamas." "Oh, no I didn't. I put them in your tackle box."
has 54.06 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: fish, marriage, phone, wife
Police Officer says "We'll never forget 9/11..." In my mind: "I hope not It's your damn number!"
has 53.57 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: cop, history, memory, phone, stupid
Chuck Norris put his phone on air-plane mode and flew it.
has 53.56 % from 78 votes. More jokes about: airplane, Chuck Norris, phone, travel
Chuck Norris was about to die... until the Grim Reaper phoned in sick.
has 53.22 % from 75 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, phone
Phone talk: "Is your boss there?" "No, he left on a trip." "A recovery trip, huh?" "I don’t think so... He took his wife with him!"
has 53.04 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: marriage, phone, wife
Baby, if you were an iPhone 6, I would tap you all day!
has 53.03 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: dirty, flirt, IT, phone, technology
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