The best phone jokes

Teacher: "In 1940, what were the Poles doing in Russia?" Pupil: "Holding up the telegraph lines!"
Vote: has 36.45 % from 41 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: phone, school, teacher, war
A blonde phoned police to report that thieves had been in her car. "They've stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, even the accelerator," she cried out. However, before the police investigation could start, the phone rang a second time and the same voice came over the line. "Never mind, I got in the back seat by mistake."
Vote: has 36.32 % from 97 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, car, cop, phone
One morning I called my girlfriend and his father picked "Hello who are you?" I heard that heavy voice and quickly replied a while "hey Eric where are you the choir is about to begin?" "What choir?" he asked. "Come on Eric stop kidding around and get your ass over here" the father then replied "Sorry am not Eric and I don't know what you are talking about I am dr Stephen" he said. I then said "oh sorry I must have misdialled" I then hang up and decided I am never gonna call that girl again...
Vote: has 36.23 % from 25 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: church, communication, dad, phone, relationship
Yo momma so nasty i had phone sex with her and she gave me an earinfection.
Vote: has 35.32 % from 35 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: phone, sex, Yo mama
A blonde phoned police to report that thieves had been in her car. "They've stolen the dashboard, the steering wheel, the brake pedal, even the accelerator," she cried out. However, before the police investigation could start, the phone rang a second time and the same voice came over the line. "Never mind, I got in the back seat by mistake."
Vote: has 29.93 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, car, cop, phone
When a woman found out that she was pregnant, she lit up the phone lines telling everyone the good news. One day later that week, she took her 4 year old son, Sam, out shopping. A woman asked the boy if he was excited about the baby. "Yes", he said. "I know what we're going to name it. If it is a girl, we're calling her Molly and if it is a boy, we're going to call it quits.
Vote: has 27.74 % from 29 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: phone, women
When a woman found out that she was pregnant, she lit up the phone lines telling everyone the good news. One day later that week, she took her 4 year old son, Sam, out shopping. A woman asked the boy if he was excited about the baby. "Yes", he said. "I know what we're going to name it. If it is a girl, we're calling her Molly and if it is a boy, we're going to call it quits.
Vote: has 25.81 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, phone, women
Coming home, I drove into the wrong house and collided with a tree I didn’t have. In an attempt to kill a fly, I drove into a telephone pole. I had been driving for 40 years when I fell asleep at the wheel and had an accident. I collided with a stationary truck coming the other way. I told the police I was not injured, but on removing my hat I found that I had a fractured skull. I pulled away from the side of the road, glanced at my mother-in-law, and headed over the embankment.
Vote: has 25.67 % from 19 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: car, driving, health, old people, phone
Little Johnny had just returned from his summer break and gone back to school. Three days later his teacher phoned his mother to tell her that he was misbehaving. "Hold on," she said. "I had Johnny with me for the entire summer and I never called you once when he misbehaved."
Vote: has 22.85 % from 250 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: little Johnny, phone, school, teacher
I phoned the local gym and I asked if they could teach me how to do the splits. He said, "How flexible are you?" I said, "I can't make Tuesdays or Thursdays."
Vote: has 21.85 % from 9 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: gym, phone, sport, time