The best phone jokes

Yo mama so fat she stepped on a weight machine and someone said "hey that's my phone number"!
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: fat, phone, Yo mama
Yo mama's so fat, she's got more chins than a Hong Kong phonebook.
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has 54.26 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: fat, insulting, phone, Yo mama
Yo' Mama is so fat, she has to make a long distance call to talk to herself.
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has 54.26 % from 13 votes. More jokes about: fat, phone, Yo mama
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other man pulls out his phone and calls emergency services. He gasps to the operator: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator in a calm, soothing voice replies: "Take it easy. I can help. First, we have to be sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the hunter says, "Ok, now what?"
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has 54.15 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: death, hunting, phone
What happens if you download the Princess Diana screensaver application? Your iphone will keep crashing!
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has 54.13 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, dirty, IT, phone
Phone talk: "Is your boss there?" "No, he left on a trip." "A recovery trip, huh?" "I don’t think so... He took his wife with him!"
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has 53.78 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: marriage, phone, wife
A college freshman decided to try out for the football team. "Can you tackle?" asked the coach. "Watch this," said the freshman, who proceeded to run smack into a telephone pole, shattering it to splinters. "Wow," said the coach. "I'm impressed. Can you run?" "Of course I can run," said the freshman. He was off like a shot, and, in just over nine seconds, he had run a hundred yard dash. "Great!" enthused the coach. "But can you pass a football?" The freshman hesitated for a few seconds. "Well, sir," he said, "if I can swallow it, I can probably pass it."
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has 53.58 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: college, football, phone, sport
Q: Why do blondes always die before help arrives? A: They always forget the "11" in "9-1-1".
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has 52.93 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: blonde, phone, stupid
So this blonde woman walks into a shop and asks the owner "Have you got a phone I can borrow as I have a bit of money and I want to call my mom." The owner says "yes" and takes her to the back of the room as he realized she was a blonde so he wanted a blowjob. So they go in the back of the room and the guy took his pants off and took out his penis. So the woman gave him the money and she put her mouth on his penis and shouted: "HEY MOM ARE YOU IN THERE!"
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has 52.38 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: blonde, money, phone, sex, stupid
A man phones home from the office and tells his wife, "Something has just come up. I need to go fishing with the boss for the weekend. We leave right away, so can you pack my clothes, my fishing equipment, and my blue silk pajamas? I'll be home in an hour to pick them up." He hurries home, grabs everything and rushes off. Sunday night, he returns. His wife asks, "Did you have a good trip?" "Oh yes, great! I think I really impressed the boss. But you forgot to pack my blue silk pajamas." "Oh, no I didn't. I put them in your tackle box."
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has 52.05 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: fish, marriage, phone, wife
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