A college freshman decided to try out for the football team.
"Can you tackle?" asked the coach.
"Watch this," said the freshman, who proceeded to run smack into a telephone pole, shattering it to splinters.
"Wow," said the coach. "I'm impressed.
Can you run?"
"Of course I can run," said the freshman.
He was off like a shot, and, in just over nine seconds, he had run a hundred yard dash.
"Great!" enthused the coach.
"But can you pass a football?"
The freshman hesitated for a few seconds.
"Well, sir," he said, "if I can swallow it, I can probably pass it."
A man phones home from the office and tells his wife, "Something has just come up. I need to go fishing with the boss for the weekend.
We leave right away, so can you pack my clothes, my fishing equipment, and my blue silk pajamas? I'll be home in an hour to pick them up."
He hurries home, grabs everything and rushes off.
Sunday night, he returns.
His wife asks, "Did you have a good trip?"
"Oh yes, great! I think I really impressed the boss. But you forgot to pack my blue silk pajamas."
"Oh, no I didn't. I put them in your tackle box."
Phone talk:
"Is your boss there?"
"No, he left on a trip."
"A recovery trip, huh?"
"I don’t think so... He took his wife with him!"
A woman came home to find her retired husband waving a rolled up newspaper round his head.
'What are you doing dear?'
'Swatting flies - I got 3 males and 2 females'
'How do you know what sex they were?'
The man very confidently replied, "Easy - 3 were on the beer and 2 were on the phone."
Chuck Norris installed iTunes... in Blackberry!
Vote:
What happens if you download the Princess Diana screensaver application?
Your iphone will keep crashing!
When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had three missed calls from Chuck Norris
Vote:
Chuck Norris does not have to answer the phone.
His beard picks up the incoming electrical impulses and translates them into audible sound.
Vote:
Chuck Norris has an iPhone with whole apple.
Vote:
There's a senior citizen driving on the highway.
His wife calls him on his cell phone and in a worried voice says, "George, be careful!
I just heard on the radio that there was a madman driving the wrong way on Route 110!"
George says, "I know, but there isn't just one, there are hundreds!"