The best phone jokes

There's a senior citizen driving on the highway. His wife calls him on his cell phone and in a worried voice says, "George, be careful! I just heard on the radio that there was a madman driving the wrong way on Route 110!" George says, "I know, but there isn't just one, there are hundreds!"
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has 47.21 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: driving, old people, phone, stupid, wife
Why did Steve Jobs live his last moments in regret? They say your life flashes before your eyes just before you die. Unfortunately for Steve Jobs, his iPhone 4S didn't have a Flash player installed!
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has 46.87 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, death, IT, life, phone
Q. What do prisoners use to call each other? A. Cell phones.
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has 45.98 % from 146 votes. More jokes about: phone, prison
Chuck Norris can text using a rotary phone.
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has 45.25 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, phone
When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had three missed calls from Chuck Norris
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has 44.84 % from 34 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, phone
Chuck Norris' phone never auto corrects him.
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has 44.04 % from 81 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, phone
How do you fit 500 babies into a phone booth? With a blender. How do you get them out? Nachos - make a dipping and snacking motion.
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has 43.61 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: baby, black humor, phone
A guy dials his home phone number from work. A strange woman answers. The guy says, "Who is this?" "This is the maid," answered the woman. "We don’t have a maid!" "I was just hired this morning by the lady of the house." "Well, this is her husband. Is she there?" "Ummm…she’s upstairs in the bedroom with someone who I just figured was her husband." The guy is fuming. He says to the maid, "Listen, would you like to make $50,000?" "What do I have to do?" "I want you to get my gun from my desk in the den and shoot that witch and the jerk she’s with." The maid puts down the phone. The guy hears footsteps, followed by a couple of gunshots. The maid comes back to the phone. "What should I do with the bodies?" "Throw them in the swimming pool!" "What pool?”" "Uh.. is this 832-4173?"
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has 43.40 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: money, phone, women, work
Phone talk: "Is your boss there?" "No, he left on a trip." "A recovery trip, huh?" "I don’t think so... He took his wife with him!"
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has 43.39 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: marriage, phone, wife
Yo mamma so fat when she looked at the scale she yelled, "Thats not my weight, thats my phone number!"
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has 43.21 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: fat, phone, Yo mama
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