There's a senior citizen driving on the highway.
His wife calls him on his cell phone and in a worried voice says, "George, be careful!
I just heard on the radio that there was a madman driving the wrong way on Route 110!"
George says, "I know, but there isn't just one, there are hundreds!"
Why did Steve Jobs live his last moments in regret?
They say your life flashes before your eyes just before you die.
Unfortunately for Steve Jobs, his iPhone 4S didn't have a Flash player installed!
Q. What do prisoners use to call each other?
A. Cell phones.
When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had three missed calls from Chuck Norris
Vote:
Chuck Norris can text using a rotary phone.
Vote:
At recent trade talks the American representative offered to sell sophisticated American telephone technology to the Russians.
American : "In the United States, anyone can pick up any phone and dial 9-1-1.
This will record the call and connect them with the police."
Russian : "In Russia we don't require that you dial anything."
Vote:
Chuck Norris' phone never auto corrects him.
Vote:
What happens if you download the Princess Diana screensaver application?
Your iphone will keep crashing!
How do you fit 500 babies into a phone booth?
With a blender.
How do you get them out?
Nachos - make a dipping and snacking motion.
Vote:
A guy dials his home phone number from work.
A strange woman answers.
The guy says, "Who is this?"
"This is the maid," answered the woman.
"We don’t have a maid!"
"I was just hired this morning by the lady of the house."
"Well, this is her husband. Is she there?"
"Ummm…she’s upstairs in the bedroom with someone who I just figured was her husband."
The guy is fuming.
He says to the maid, "Listen, would you like to make $50,000?"
"What do I have to do?"
"I want you to get my gun from my desk in the den and shoot that witch and the jerk she’s with."
The maid puts down the phone.
The guy hears footsteps, followed by a couple of gunshots.
The maid comes back to the phone. "What should I do with the bodies?"
"Throw them in the swimming pool!"
"What pool?”"
"Uh.. is this 832-4173?"