So this blonde woman walks into a shop and asks the owner
"Have you got a phone I can borrow as I have a bit of money and I want to call my mom."
The owner says "yes" and takes her to the back of the room as he realized she was a blonde so he wanted a blowjob.
So they go in the back of the room and the guy took his pants off and took out his penis.
So the woman gave him the money and she put her mouth on his penis and shouted: "HEY MOM ARE YOU IN THERE!"
Yo mamma so fat when she looked at the scale she yelled, "Thats not my weight, thats my phone number!"
Chuck Norris does not have to answer the phone.
His beard picks up the incoming electrical impulses and translates them into audible sound.
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911 calls Chuck Norris for emergency.
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Chuck Norris doesn't need a case for his phone.
The ground is afraid to break it.
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If you are next to Chuck Norris then you will always have perfect cell phone reception.
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What do the latest Iphone 6 applications do?
Whiten teeth and perform laser eye surgery!
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When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had three missed calls from Chuck Norris
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Q. What do prisoners use to call each other?
A. Cell phones.
At recent trade talks the American representative offered to sell sophisticated American telephone technology to the Russians.
American : "In the United States, anyone can pick up any phone and dial 9-1-1.
This will record the call and connect them with the police."
Russian : "In Russia we don't require that you dial anything."
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