The best phone jokes

An elderly Floridian called 911 on her cell phone to report that her car has been broken into. She is hysterical as she explains her situation to the dispatcher: "They've stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the brake pedal and even the accelerator!" she cried. The dispatcher said, "Stay calm. An officer is on the way." A few minutes later, the officer radios in. "Disregard." He says. "She got in the back-seat by mistake."
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has 54.15 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: car, cop, phone
Pavlov walks into a bar. The phone rings, and he says, "Damn, I forgot to feed the dog."
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has 53.58 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: animal, bar, dog, phone
Phone talk: "Is your boss there?" "No, he left on a trip." "A recovery trip, huh?" "I don’t think so... He took his wife with him!"
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has 53.04 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: marriage, phone, wife
Q: Why do blondes always die before help arrives? A: They always forget the "11" in "9-1-1".
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has 52.93 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: blonde, phone, stupid
There were five brothers named somebody, nobody, anybody mad and brain. One day somebody and nobody were fighting, and just at that moment the anybody called police. The police picked up the phone, and said hello. Then Anybody: "Hello sir! I want to inform you that somebody is beating nobody." Police: "Sorry!" Anybody: "Sir somebody is beating nobody" Police: "Are you mad? Who are you? What's your name?" Anybody: "No, sir mad is dancing, I am anybody" Police: "Shut up you idiot. What are you saying? Where have your brain gone? Is it lost?" Anybody: "No, sir brain is not lost. Brain is in the bathroom."
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has 52.50 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: communication, cop, family, phone, stupid
Chuck Norris installed iTunes... in Blackberry!
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has 52.18 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, music, phone
A man phones home from the office and tells his wife, "Something has just come up. I need to go fishing with the boss for the weekend. We leave right away, so can you pack my clothes, my fishing equipment, and my blue silk pajamas? I'll be home in an hour to pick them up." He hurries home, grabs everything and rushes off. Sunday night, he returns. His wife asks, "Did you have a good trip?" "Oh yes, great! I think I really impressed the boss. But you forgot to pack my blue silk pajamas." "Oh, no I didn't. I put them in your tackle box."
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has 52.05 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: fish, marriage, phone, wife
Chuck Norris has an iPhone with whole apple.
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has 51.67 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, phone
When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had three missed calls from Chuck Norris
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has 50.29 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, phone
Chuck Norris does not have to answer the phone. His beard picks up the incoming electrical impulses and translates them into audible sound.
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has 50.29 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, phone, technology
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