The best phone jokes

A guy dials his home phone number from work. A strange woman answers. The guy says, "Who is this?" "This is the maid," answered the woman. "We don’t have a maid!" "I was just hired this morning by the lady of the house." "Well, this is her husband. Is she there?" "Ummm…she’s upstairs in the bedroom with someone who I just figured was her husband." The guy is fuming. He says to the maid, "Listen, would you like to make $50,000?" "What do I have to do?" "I want you to get my gun from my desk in the den and shoot that witch and the jerk she’s with." The maid puts down the phone. The guy hears footsteps, followed by a couple of gunshots. The maid comes back to the phone. "What should I do with the bodies?" "Throw them in the swimming pool!" "What pool?”" "Uh.. is this 832-4173?"
has 43.40 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: money, phone, women, work
Phone talk: "Is your boss there?" "No, he left on a trip." "A recovery trip, huh?" "I don’t think so... He took his wife with him!"
has 43.39 % from 37 votes. More jokes about: marriage, phone, wife
Yo mamma so fat when she looked at the scale she yelled, "Thats not my weight, thats my phone number!"
has 43.21 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: fat, phone, Yo mama
It is believed dinosaurs are extinct due to a giant meteor. That's true if you want to call Chuck Norris a giant meteor.
has 42.19 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, dinosaur, phone
The manager of the liquor store gets a phone call at 8 pm. "At what time do you open tomorrow?" asked the caller. "At nine," he answered. The phone rings at midnight "What time do you open ... in the morning?" "At nine". The phone rings at 4 in the morning "Whatt tim do ya openn in the mornin?" "I told you before at nine". "Imm just inn aa hury cause i got locked in tha stor las nite."
has 41.91 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, phone, time
Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure began when Chuck Norris arrived from the future and roundhouse kicked that phone booth into the past.
has 41.91 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, phone
Did you hear about the music app that is preloaded on every iPhone 6 plus? GarageBend.
has 41.85 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: IT, music, phone, technology
Someone calls at the hotline: Good evening. I’ve just installed Windows 98... So? Wheel I have a problem... Ok, ok, you just said that...
has 41.84 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: IT, phone
If he wanted to, Chuck Norris could rob a bank. By phone.
has 41.84 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, phone
Chuck Norris watched the tape from The Ring. His phone rang and when he answered a scared voice said "Excuse me, the wrong number"
has 40.77 % from 65 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, phone
More jokes →
Page 15 of 18.