The best phone jokes

Chuck Norris' phone never auto corrects him.
has 47.19 % from 76 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, phone
Chuck Norris can text using a rotary phone.
has 46.72 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, phone
Someone calls at the hotline: Good evening. I’ve just installed Windows 98... So? Wheel I have a problem... Ok, ok, you just said that...
has 46.70 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: IT, phone
If he wanted to, Chuck Norris could rob a bank. By phone.
has 46.70 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, phone
What do the latest Iphone 6 applications do? Whiten teeth and perform laser eye surgery!
has 46.70 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: IT, phone, technology
Q. What do prisoners use to call each other? A. Cell phones.
has 46.31 % from 145 votes. More jokes about: phone, prison
At recent trade talks the American representative offered to sell sophisticated American telephone technology to the Russians. American : "In the United States, anyone can pick up any phone and dial 9-1-1. This will record the call and connect them with the police." Russian : "In Russia we don't require that you dial anything."
has 45.58 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: cop, phone, technology
Did you hear about the music app that is preloaded on every iPhone 6 plus? GarageBend.
has 45.52 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: IT, music, phone, technology
How do you fit 500 babies into a phone booth? With a blender. How do you get them out? Nachos - make a dipping and snacking motion.
has 45.39 % from 53 votes. More jokes about: baby, black humor, phone
A guy dials his home phone number from work. A strange woman answers. The guy says, "Who is this?" "This is the maid," answered the woman. "We don’t have a maid!" "I was just hired this morning by the lady of the house." "Well, this is her husband. Is she there?" "Ummm…she’s upstairs in the bedroom with someone who I just figured was her husband." The guy is fuming. He says to the maid, "Listen, would you like to make $50,000?" "What do I have to do?" "I want you to get my gun from my desk in the den and shoot that witch and the jerk she’s with." The maid puts down the phone. The guy hears footsteps, followed by a couple of gunshots. The maid comes back to the phone. "What should I do with the bodies?" "Throw them in the swimming pool!" "What pool?”" "Uh.. is this 832-4173?"
has 44.95 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: money, phone, women, work
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