The best phone jokes

Yo mama's so fat, she's got more chins than a Hong Kong phonebook.
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has 45.58 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: fat, insulting, phone, Yo mama
Did you hear about the music app that is preloaded on every iPhone 6 plus? GarageBend.
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has 45.52 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: IT, music, phone, technology
Chuck Norris can text using a rotary phone.
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has 45.25 % from 69 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, phone
A guy dials his home phone number from work. A strange woman answers. The guy says, "Who is this?" "This is the maid," answered the woman. "We don’t have a maid!" "I was just hired this morning by the lady of the house." "Well, this is her husband. Is she there?" "Ummm…she’s upstairs in the bedroom with someone who I just figured was her husband." The guy is fuming. He says to the maid, "Listen, would you like to make $50,000?" "What do I have to do?" "I want you to get my gun from my desk in the den and shoot that witch and the jerk she’s with." The maid puts down the phone. The guy hears footsteps, followed by a couple of gunshots. The maid comes back to the phone. "What should I do with the bodies?" "Throw them in the swimming pool!" "What pool?”" "Uh.. is this 832-4173?"
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has 44.95 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: money, phone, women, work
Someone calls at the hotline: Good evening. I’ve just installed Windows 98... So? Wheel I have a problem... Ok, ok, you just said that...
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has 44.13 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: IT, phone
Chuck Norris' phone never auto corrects him.
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has 44.04 % from 81 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, phone
Your mamma is so stupid she tripped over a cordless phone!
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has 43.21 % from 12 votes. More jokes about: phone, stupid, Yo mama
How do you fit 500 babies into a phone booth? With a blender. How do you get them out? Nachos - make a dipping and snacking motion.
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has 42.73 % from 56 votes. More jokes about: baby, black humor, phone
Why did the referee have such a high phone bill? Because he made to many calls!
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has 42.61 % from 14 votes. More jokes about: phone, sport
The manager of the liquor store gets a phone call at 8 pm. "At what time do you open tomorrow?" asked the caller. "At nine," he answered. The phone rings at midnight "What time do you open ... in the morning?" "At nine". The phone rings at 4 in the morning "Whatt tim do ya openn in the mornin?" "I told you before at nine". "Imm just inn aa hury cause i got locked in tha stor las nite."
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has 42.03 % from 18 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, phone, time
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