The best phone jokes

A college freshman decided to try out for the football team. "Can you tackle?" asked the coach. "Watch this," said the freshman, who proceeded to run smack into a telephone pole, shattering it to splinters. "Wow," said the coach. "I'm impressed. Can you run?" "Of course I can run," said the freshman. He was off like a shot, and, in just over nine seconds, he had run a hundred yard dash. "Great!" enthused the coach. "But can you pass a football?" The freshman hesitated for a few seconds. "Well, sir," he said, "if I can swallow it, I can probably pass it."
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has 52.38 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: college, football, phone, sport
A woman came home to find her retired husband waving a rolled up newspaper round his head. 'What are you doing dear?' 'Swatting flies - I got 3 males and 2 females' 'How do you know what sex they were?' The man very confidently replied, "Easy - 3 were on the beer and 2 were on the phone."
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has 52.18 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: beer, husband, old people, phone, women
Q: Why do blondes always die before help arrives? A: They always forget the "11" in "9-1-1".
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has 51.67 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: blonde, phone, stupid
Chuck Norris puts phone companies on hold.
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has 51.64 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, phone
When Chuck Norris calls 911 it's to ask if everything is ok.
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has 50.29 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, phone
What happens if you download the Princess Diana screensaver application? Your iphone will keep crashing!
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has 50.29 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, dirty, IT, phone
There's a senior citizen driving on the highway. His wife calls him on his cell phone and in a worried voice says, "George, be careful! I just heard on the radio that there was a madman driving the wrong way on Route 110!" George says, "I know, but there isn't just one, there are hundreds!"
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has 49.30 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: driving, old people, phone, stupid, wife
Chuck Norris can answer a missed call.
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has 48.49 % from 76 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, phone
So this blonde woman walks into a shop and asks the owner "Have you got a phone I can borrow as I have a bit of money and I want to call my mom." The owner says "yes" and takes her to the back of the room as he realized she was a blonde so he wanted a blowjob. So they go in the back of the room and the guy took his pants off and took out his penis. So the woman gave him the money and she put her mouth on his penis and shouted: "HEY MOM ARE YOU IN THERE!"
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has 48.37 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: blonde, money, phone, sex, stupid
Yo mamma so fat when she looked at the scale she yelled, "Thats not my weight, thats my phone number!"
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has 48.02 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: fat, phone, Yo mama
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