Baby, if you were an iPhone 6, I would tap you all day!
What do the latest Iphone 6 applications do?
Whiten teeth and perform laser eye surgery!
Vote:
911 calls Chuck Norris for emergency.
Vote:
Yo mama so stupid, she dropped off her phone because it stopped.
Yo mama's so fat, she's got more chins than a Hong Kong phonebook.
Chuck Norris does not have to answer the phone.
His beard picks up the incoming electrical impulses and translates them into audible sound.
Vote:
One day, little Suzie was strolling around the house and just happened to pass by her sister’s room.
She heard her sister say on the phone to her boy friend.
“Your such an as***!” and she hung up.
Suzie asked what as*** had meant and her sister sayin
“Uh… it means… uhh.. boyfriend!”.
Suzie is delighted to hear a new nice word.
Then,She was walking past the bathroom where her dad was shaving.
Her dad had cut himself and yelled “SHIT!”
Then turniing around saw little Suzie ask what shit means.
Dad, being quite shocked answered
“It uhh.. It.. It means shaving cream.”
Then, Suzie walked downstairs to help her mom with the dinner turkey.
Suzie’s dad’s boss was coming to dinner tonight.
When Suzie went in the kitchen, her mom accidently cut herself yelled”F***k!”.
Suzie asked what f***k meant and mom replied ” it..it..it uummm…it means cut… yeah, cut.”
Just as mom said that, the doorbell rang and asked Suzie to go and get it.
When Suzie opened the door, her dad’s boss was standing there.
Boss asked” Well hello young lady! Can I ask where your family is?
”Then Suzie said” Well, my sister’s upstairs talking to her as*** on the phone, my dad’s in the bathroom wiping the shit off his face and my mom’s in the kitchen f***g the turkey!”
Chuck Norris doesn't need a case for his phone.
The ground is afraid to break it.
Vote:
When I was young I had my first induction day in IT we were making an animation on scratch me and my friend decided to go on our phones.
The teacher came over and asked, "what we were doing on our phones."
I had to think fast so I said "we were researching something" she said that was alright.
Still, to this day I wonder why she didn't notice that we had computers in front of us that had the school wifi.
Customer: “My youngest son was surfing the web last night and to my shock he was at a British comedy site.”
Tech Support: “Yes, what is the problem?”
Customer: “The ‘.uk’ at the end — doesn’t that stand for United Kingdom?”
Tech Support: “Yes.”
Customer: “Just great — I knew it!
He’s in trouble now!
He was there for almost a half hour!
How much does AOL charge for long distance?”
Tech Support: “It does not work that way.
You can surf anywhere without long distance charges.”
Customer: “No, I am sure AOL charges extra.
It doesn’t make any sense that they wouldn’t.
England is a long way away, they would lose millions not to.”
After trying to explain how the web worked, the customer refused to take my word and said she was going to call AOL.
A while later she called back.
Customer: “Well, AOL said you were correct; no long distance charge for overseas web sites.
I do have another question I thought of after I hung up with AOL.”
Tech Support: “Yes?”
Customer: “Do you think they charge extra for long distance email?”
Tech Support: “Trust me — they don’t.”
Customer: “Wonderful!
My oldest son works in Sweden.
He sends us email, but I was always afraid to reply because I didn’t know how much it would cost, so I just called him on the phone.
This will save us lots of money!
Still if AOL was smart they would charge for this service.”