Chuck Norris put his phone on air-plane mode and flew it.
Pavlov walks into a bar. The phone rings, and he says, "Damn, I forgot to feed the dog."
A woman came home to find her retired husband waving a rolled up newspaper round his head. 'What are you doing dear?' 'Swatting flies - I got 3 males and 2 females' 'How do you know what sex they were?' The man very confidently replied, "Easy - 3 were on the beer and 2 were on the phone."
Q: Why do blondes always die before help arrives? A: They always forget the "11" in "9-1-1".
When Chuck Norris calls 911 it's to ask if everything is ok.
Chuck Norris puts phone companies on hold.
What happens if you download the Princess Diana screensaver application? Your iphone will keep crashing!
There's a senior citizen driving on the highway. His wife calls him on his cell phone and in a worried voice says, "George, be careful! I just heard on the radio that there was a madman driving the wrong way on Route 110!" George says, "I know, but there isn't just one, there are hundreds!"
After a number of attempts to get the customer service agent on the phone to understand his name, my Asian American friend Appappa decided to spell it out. "A for apple," he began. "P for pineapple, p for pineapple, a for apple, p for pineapple, p for—" The flustered agent interrupted. "I have a better idea," she said. "Just tell me how many apples and how many pineapples."
Chuck Norris can answer a missed call.