The best phone jokes

A college freshman decided to try out for the football team. "Can you tackle?" asked the coach. "Watch this," said the freshman, who proceeded to run smack into a telephone pole, shattering it to splinters. "Wow," said the coach. "I'm impressed. Can you run?" "Of course I can run," said the freshman. He was off like a shot, and, in just over nine seconds, he had run a hundred yard dash. "Great!" enthused the coach. "But can you pass a football?" The freshman hesitated for a few seconds. "Well, sir," he said, "if I can swallow it, I can probably pass it."
has 51.70 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: college, football, phone, sport
A woman came home to find her retired husband waving a rolled up newspaper round his head. 'What are you doing dear?' 'Swatting flies - I got 3 males and 2 females' 'How do you know what sex they were?' The man very confidently replied, "Easy - 3 were on the beer and 2 were on the phone."
has 50.70 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: beer, husband, old people, phone, women
When Chuck Norris calls 911 it's to ask if everything is ok.
has 50.29 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, phone
Chuck Norris puts phone companies on hold.
has 50.29 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, phone
What happens if you download the Princess Diana screensaver application? Your iphone will keep crashing!
has 50.29 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, dirty, IT, phone
There's a senior citizen driving on the highway. His wife calls him on his cell phone and in a worried voice says, "George, be careful! I just heard on the radio that there was a madman driving the wrong way on Route 110!" George says, "I know, but there isn't just one, there are hundreds!"
has 49.30 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: driving, old people, phone, stupid, wife
After a number of attempts to get the customer service agent on the phone to understand his name, my Asian American friend Appappa decided to spell it out. "A for apple," he began. "P for pineapple, p for pineapple, a for apple, p for pineapple, p for—" The flustered agent interrupted. "I have a better idea," she said. "Just tell me how many apples and how many pineapples."
has 49.26 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: asian, communication, customer service, phone, stupid
Q: Why do blondes always die before help arrives? A: They always forget the "11" in "9-1-1".
has 48.78 % from 21 votes. More jokes about: blonde, phone, stupid
Chuck Norris can answer a missed call.
has 48.49 % from 76 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, phone
Yo mamma so fat when she looked at the scale she yelled, "Thats not my weight, thats my phone number!"
has 48.02 % from 11 votes. More jokes about: fat, phone, Yo mama
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