The best phone jokes

Pavlov walks into a bar. The phone rings, and he says, "Damn, I forgot to feed the dog."
Vote: has 56.84 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, bar, dog, phone
It is believed dinosaurs are extinct due to a giant meteor. That's true if you want to call Chuck Norris a giant meteor.
Vote: has 56.84 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, dinosaur, phone
What happens if you download the Princess Diana screensaver application? Your iphone will keep crashing!
Vote: has 55.51 % from 33 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: celebrity, dirty, IT, phone
When Alexander Bell invented the telephone he had three missed calls from Chuck Norris
Vote: has 55.34 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, phone
Why is the Apple still reporting record profits from iPhone sales? Because iPhone users are just as oblivious to the looming recession as they are to the people around them.
Vote: has 54.59 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: IT, phone
Yo mama so fat she stepped on a weight machine and someone said "hey that's my phone number"!
Vote: has 54.59 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: fat, phone, Yo mama
A man and his wife agreed on a code to use in front of their kids when they want to have s*x. The code is: "Making a call." One day the man ask his son to tell his mother, that dad wants to make a phone call. The boy returns to his dad, that mom says she is out of order. Then he ask him to tell her, that dad will go outside to make a phone call. The boy returns, that mom says, "If you do so, she will open a central telephone station in the house."
Vote: has 54.49 % from 45 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: kids, marriage, phone, sex, wife
Little Johnny had finished his summer vacation and gone back to school. Two days later his teacher phoned his mother to tell her that he was misbehaving. “Wait a minute,” she said. “I had Johnny with me for three months and I never called you once when he misbehaved.”
Vote: has 54.33 % from 137 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: little Johnny, phone, school, teacher
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other man pulls out his phone and calls emergency services. He gasps to the operator: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator in a calm, soothing voice replies: "Take it easy. I can help. First, we have to be sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the hunter says, "Ok, now what?"
Vote: has 54.15 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: death, hunting, phone
Chuck Norris does not have to answer the phone. His beard picks up the incoming electrical impulses and translates them into audible sound.
Vote: has 54.15 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: Chuck Norris, phone, technology