The best phone jokes

Yo momma so fat when she stepped on the scale it came up with my phone number.
Vote:
has 62.91 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: fat, phone, Yo mama
Yo momma so nasty i had phone sex with her and she gave me an earinfection.
Vote:
has 62.37 % from 80 votes. More jokes about: phone, sex, Yo mama
Q: How many Apple Iphone 6 early adopters does it take to change a light bulb? A: 3001. 1 to do the work and 3000 to go online and bitch about the lack of obscure features!
Vote:
has 61.89 % from 33 votes. More jokes about: IT, light bulb, phone, technology, work
According to Apple what is the leading cause of iphone 6 overheating? Downloading images of Candice Swanepoel.
Vote:
has 61.63 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: beauty, celebrity, IT, phone, technology
A man was going to bed one night when his wife told him that he had left the light on in the shed. She could see the light was on from the bedroom window. As the man looked for himself he saw that there were people in the shed taking things. The man phoned the police, but they told him that no one was in the area to help him at that time, but they would send someone over as soon as they were available. He said "OK," hung up, and waited one minute, then phoned the police back. "Hello" he said, "I just called you a minute ago because there were people in my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now 'cause I've shot them." Within five minutes there were half a dozen police cars in the area, an Armed Response unit, the works. Of course, they caught the burglars red-handed. One of the officers said: "I thought you said that you shot Them!" The man replied, "I thought you said there was nobody available!"
Vote:
has 61.59 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: cop, phone, wife
Yo' Mama is so nasty, she gave me an ear infection over the phone.
Vote:
has 61.35 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: insulting, phone, Yo mama
Two hunters are out in the woods when one of them collapses. He doesn't seem to be breathing and his eyes are glazed. The other man pulls out his phone and calls emergency services. He gasps to the operator: "My friend is dead! What can I do?" The operator in a calm, soothing voice replies: "Take it easy. I can help. First, we have to be sure he's dead." There is a silence, then a shot is heard. Back on the phone, the hunter says, "Ok, now what?"
Vote:
has 59.80 % from 28 votes. More jokes about: death, hunting, phone
Yo' Mama is like a telephone book: available to the public, no charge.
Vote:
has 59.19 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: insulting, phone, Yo mama
Phone a friend and tell them you're a doctor, and you're very, very sorry, but you did everything you could to save their... then pretend that the connection dropped out. Wait a couple beats, then give your deepest condolences. Then hang up.
Vote:
has 59.19 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: death, doctor, health, phone
Q: How many hipsters can you get into a phone booth? A: One, any more and it would be too mainstream.
Vote:
has 59.19 % from 15 votes. More jokes about: hipster, phone