The best phone jokes

Jimmy is calling Sergey, who he met at an international conference. Jimmy: "Hi, I've hear there is minus 54 degrees Celsius." Sergey: "Nonsense, not even minus 15!" Jimmy: "But on CNN, they've just shown a thermometer..." Sergey: "Ohh, ok, maybe outside."
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has 62.22 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: phone, technology, winter, work
Librarians may be shy, but their patrons aren't. Look at their oddball requests: A patron offered me $100 to steal a cactus from somebody's yard. A patron wanted me to find a book to teach her dog german. A patron on his way to the casino asked to rub my red hair for luck. A patron once asked me for my home phone number so she could call me with reference questions when I wasn't at work.
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has 62.22 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: communication, dog, money, phone, work
Police label anyone attacking Chuck Norris as a Code 45-11... a suicide.
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has 61.99 % from 55 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, cop, death, phone
According to Apple what is the leading cause of iphone 6 overheating? Downloading images of Candice Swanepoel.
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has 61.63 % from 23 votes. More jokes about: beauty, celebrity, IT, phone, technology
A man was going to bed one night when his wife told him that he had left the light on in the shed. She could see the light was on from the bedroom window. As the man looked for himself he saw that there were people in the shed taking things. The man phoned the police, but they told him that no one was in the area to help him at that time, but they would send someone over as soon as they were available. He said "OK," hung up, and waited one minute, then phoned the police back. "Hello" he said, "I just called you a minute ago because there were people in my shed. Well, you don't have to worry about them now 'cause I've shot them." Within five minutes there were half a dozen police cars in the area, an Armed Response unit, the works. Of course, they caught the burglars red-handed. One of the officers said: "I thought you said that you shot Them!" The man replied, "I thought you said there was nobody available!"
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has 61.59 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: cop, phone, wife
Yo' Mama is so nasty, she gave me an ear infection over the phone.
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has 61.35 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: insulting, phone, Yo mama
If you are next to Chuck Norris then you will always have perfect cell phone reception.
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has 61.28 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, phone
Q: How many Apple Iphone 6 early adopters does it take to change a light bulb? A: 3001. 1 to do the work and 3000 to go online and bitch about the lack of obscure features!
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has 60.85 % from 32 votes. More jokes about: IT, light bulb, phone, technology, work
Chuck Norris was about to die... until the Grim Reaper phoned in sick.
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has 60.35 % from 67 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, death, phone
When Chuck Norris calls 911 it's to ask if everything is ok.
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has 59.93 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, phone