The best phone jokes

Yo mamma so fat when she looked at the scale she yelled, "Thats not my weight, thats my phone number!"
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has 56.50 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: fat, insulting, phone, Yo mama
Little Johnny had finished his summer vacation and gone back to school. Two days later his teacher phoned his mother to tell her that he was misbehaving. “Wait a minute,” she said. “I had Johnny with me for three months and I never called you once when he misbehaved.”
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has 55.90 % from 174 votes. More jokes about: little Johnny, phone, school, teacher
Jimmy is calling Sergey, who he met at an international conference. Jimmy: "Hi, I've hear there is minus 54 degrees Celsius." Sergey: "Nonsense, not even minus 15!" Jimmy: "But on CNN, they've just shown a thermometer..." Sergey: "Ohh, ok, maybe outside."
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has 55.71 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: phone, technology, winter, work
Teens are at an awkward stage in their lives. They know how to make phone calls they just don't know how to end them.
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has 55.34 % from 22 votes. More jokes about: life, phone, teen
Yo momma so nasty i had phone sex with her and she gave me an earinfection.
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has 55.19 % from 91 votes. More jokes about: phone, sex, Yo mama
There were five brothers named somebody, nobody, anybody mad and brain. One day somebody and nobody were fighting, and just at that moment the anybody called police. The police picked up the phone, and said hello. Then Anybody: "Hello sir! I want to inform you that somebody is beating nobody." Police: "Sorry!" Anybody: "Sir somebody is beating nobody" Police: "Are you mad? Who are you? What's your name?" Anybody: "No, sir mad is dancing, I am anybody" Police: "Shut up you idiot. What are you saying? Where have your brain gone? Is it lost?" Anybody: "No, sir brain is not lost. Brain is in the bathroom."
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has 54.78 % from 95 votes. More jokes about: communication, cop, family, phone, stupid
Chuck Norris keeps a list of all his victims, it's called the phone book.
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has 54.77 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, phone
Moody was awakened by the telephone at four A.M. It was his Ku Klux Klan buddy, Crumm, calling long distance from Montgomery. "What's the matter?" asked Moody. "Are you in trouble?" "No!" said Crumm. "What do you want, then?" "Nothing!" "Then how come you are calling me in the middle of the night?" asked Moody. "Cause!" said the other redneck, "the rates are cheaper!"
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has 54.77 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: money, phone, redneck
Yo' Mama is so fat, she has to make a long distance call to talk to herself.
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: fat, phone, Yo mama
Yo mama so fat she stepped on a weight machine and someone said "hey that's my phone number"!
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has 54.59 % from 16 votes. More jokes about: fat, phone, Yo mama
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