According to Apple what is the leading cause of iphone 6 overheating? Downloading images of Candice Swanepoel.
Yo mamma so fat when she looked at the scale she yelled, "Thats not my weight, thats my phone number!"
Mother: "Why was the phone busy all night?" Babysitter: "The fire department put me on hold."
Why did the blonde burn her ear? The phone rang while she was ironing!
Little Johnny had finished his summer vacation and gone back to school. Two days later his teacher phoned his mother to tell her that he was misbehaving. “Wait a minute,” she said. “I had Johnny with me for three months and I never called you once when he misbehaved.”
An elderly Floridian called 911 on her cell phone to report that her car has been broken into. She is hysterical as she explains her situation to the dispatcher: "They've stolen the stereo, the steering wheel, the brake pedal and even the accelerator!" she cried. The dispatcher said, "Stay calm. An officer is on the way." A few minutes later, the officer radios in. "Disregard." He says. "She got in the back-seat by mistake."
What do you call an iPhone that isn't kidding around? Dead Siri-ous.
What do you get if you cross a Kindle with an Apple iPhone 4S? 4Skin.
Jimmy is calling Sergey, who he met at an international conference. Jimmy: "Hi, I've hear there is minus 54 degrees Celsius." Sergey: "Nonsense, not even minus 15!" Jimmy: "But on CNN, they've just shown a thermometer..." Sergey: "Ohh, ok, maybe outside."
Chuck Norris keeps a list of all his victims, it's called the phone book.