How did Captain Hook die? He wiped his bum with the wrong hand!
Q: How do pirates make their money? A: By hook or by crook!
Chuck Norris once shook a pirates hand. That pirate is now known as Captain Hook
Q: What do pirates wear in the winter? A: Long Johns!
Q: Who was the most famous pirate octopus? A: Captain Squid.
A pirate walks into a bar with a ship's wheel on his penis. The bartender says to him, "You know you've got a ship's wheel on your penis?" And the pirate says, "Argh, I know. It drives me nuts."
Q: Where do pirates buy their parrot food? A: Petsmarrrrrrrrt!
Yo' Mama is so flat, pirates can't wait to get their hands her a sunken chest.
Q: Why are black people, pirates? A: Because they go nigarrr.
A pirate walks into a bar and sits down. The bartender walks over to him and says "Hey, I couldn't help but notice when you walked in. Is that a steering wheel hung between your legs?" "Aye!" replied the pirate, "And it's drivin' me nuts!"