The best pirate jokes

Q: What do pirates wear in the winter? A: Long Johns!
Vote: has 68.45 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

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Q: Who was the most famous pirate octopus? A: Captain Squid.
Vote: has 64.78 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

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Chuck Norris once shook a pirates hand. That pirate is now known as Captain Hook
Vote: has 64.28 % from 25 votes. Send joke:

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Q: How did the pirate become a boxing champion so fast? A: Nobody was ready to take on his right hook.
Vote: has 63.17 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: pirate, sport
A pirate walks into a bar with a ship's wheel on his penis. The bartender says to him, "You know you've got a ship's wheel on your penis?" And the pirate says, "Argh, I know. It drives me nuts."
Vote: has 56.78 % from 45 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: bar, dirty, pirate
Yo' Mama is so flat, pirates can't wait to get their hands her a sunken chest.
Vote: has 51.34 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

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Q: Why are black people, pirates? A: Because they go nigarrr.
Vote: has 41.85 % from 28 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black people, pirate, racist
A pirate walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender looks down and says, "You know that you have a steering wheel in your pants" The pirate replies, "Ay, it's drivin' me nuts."
Vote: has 28.61 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, bar, bartender, pirate
A pirate walks into a bar and sits down. The bartender walks over to him and says "Hey, I couldn't help but notice when you walked in. Is that a steering wheel hung between your legs?" "Aye!" replied the pirate, "And it's drivin' me nuts!"
Vote: has 26.98 % from 10 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, bar, pirate