The best political jokes

Q: Why do they say elephants never forget? A: They haven't met Alberto Gonzalez.
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has 37.92 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: elephant, memory, political, republican
You will never see a car worth over $10,000 with an Obama sticker on the back.
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has 37.73 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: car, money, political, republican
Donald Trump and Vladimir Putin are having dinner. Trump orders a steak, and Putin orders the roast duck. The waiter, however, gets their plates mixed up. Trump does not wait, but rather just starts digging in. "Wow," Putin says. "Your hands make my duck look bigger."
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has 36.64 % from 27 votes. More jokes about: communication, duck, food, political
One day a government worker was digging through his office drawers when suddenly he came upon a magic lamp. (Oh, c'mon, I'm sure there's one buried in your desk too.) Since he'd heard these jokes before, he knew that he had to rub the lamp and make the genie come out. So he rubbed the lamp and - oh, surprise out popped a genie. The genie asked, as genies will, "What is your first wish?" The government worker thought about it for a second, then replied, "I would like to be rich!" So the genie granted him his wish, and poof the man was surrounded by piles of money rivaling the heaps of even Martha Stewart and Bill Gates. Since the government worker knew the whole wish process, the genie didn't even have to ask for number two before he said, "My second wish is to be on an island with beautiful women surrounding me and obeying my every command!" And poof, he was there. Then the government worker or, as I like to call him, civil servant decided on his third wish, "I don't want to do any work ever again!" and poof ubiquitous ironic twist he was back in his office.
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has 35.51 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: genie, life, money, political, work
Donald Trump is a vain, arrogant, hateful pig. That's why Americans voted him in - he's just like them.
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has 31.61 % from 105 votes. More jokes about: ethnic, insulting, political, republican
Well goodnight everyone. I have to get up early tomorrow to do nothing and still make more money than all of you!
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has 26.78 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: money, political, republican
One day President Trump's motorcade was heading to the Mexican border to see first hand progress on The Wall. All of a sudden a naked lone figure was seen bent over on the side of the road. Wanting to help the president ordered the motorcade to stop. He got out and approached the figure and suddenly realized it was Nancy Pelosi. She was naked with her wrists handcuffed to her ankles. The president said, "OMG Nancy what happened?" She cried out that she was kidnapped by a bunch of people wearing MAGA hats and left to die! The president said "Well I'm not going to let that happen" as he was unzipping his zipper. He yelled out to the motorcade "OK boys the line starts behind me"
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has 25.19 % from 68 votes. More jokes about: celebrity, death, dirty, mexican, political
If Chuck Norris ran for president, the competition would drop out, and he would get infinite terms.
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has 24.51 % from 98 votes. More jokes about: Chuck Norris, political
"Hey, today we got the four of clubs. A guy named Samir al-Aziz, a Ba'ath party bad guy. And we now have the four of clubs, the five of clubs, the five of spades and the seven of diamonds. I don't know what game they're playing at the White House, but today, when it was confirmed that we had the four of clubs, Condoleezza Rice had to take off her blouse." Bill Maher "The Pentagon said this week that the war in Iraq has cost $20 billion so far. The breakdown is operations: $10 billion; personnel: $6 billion; getting Bush re-elected: priceless." Bill Maher "The president boasted at the top of his press conference that we have the support now of Britain and Spain for our attack on Iraq. You know, when you want to make it perfectly clear to the world that you're not an imperialist, the people you want in your corner are Britain and Spain." Bill Maher "Iraq now says that it will, after all, destroy its missiles. President Bush said, 'Please, I used to pull the same trick. There'd be an intervention, I'd make a big show of pouring out the liquor and then there was a case under the floorboards.'" Bill Maher.
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has 13.59 % from 142 votes. More jokes about: ethnic, money, political, racist
What did Barack Obama become after his forty-seventh year? "Forty-eight years old."
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has 13.02 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: age, men, political
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