The best political jokes

Donald Trump and Hillary Clinton are on the same plane. The plane crashes. Who survives? America.
Vote: has 78.53 % from 25 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: political
I once meet a honest, caring, politician that listened when I spoke and tried to help the country. Then I woke up.
Vote: has 78.06 % from 49 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: lawyer, political
A Senator in the USA was once asked about his attitude toward whisky. "If you mean the demon drink that poisons the mind, pollutes the body, desecrates family life, and inflames sinners, then I'm against it. But if you mean the elixir of a New Year toast, the shield against winter chill, the taxable potion that puts needed funds into public coffers to comfort little crippled children, then I'm for it. This is my position, and I will not compromise."
Vote: has 77.74 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, money, new year, political, tax
Have you heard of the new Obama happy meal at Mcdonalds? It comes with a promise that you'll get a toy someday.
Vote: has 76.89 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, life, political
Q: Have you heard about McDonald's new Obama Value Meal? A: Order anything you like and the guy behind you has to pay for it.
Vote: has 76.32 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, life, money, political
Your mama's so fat the government forced her to wear tailights and blinkers so no one else would get hurt.
Vote: has 76.21 % from 96 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: fat, political, Yo mama
Q: What is the difference between Election day and Thanksgiving day? A: On Thanksgiving, you get a turkey for the day; on Election day, you get a turkey for four years.
Vote: has 75.97 % from 22 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: ethnic, food, political, Thanksgiving, time
Long time ago, in the land of Persia there lived a powerful king and his beautiful queen. The queen was so gorgeous that the king's ministers were obsessed and craving to seduce her. One day, the king got an invitation to visit the King of Ethiopia and left behind his queen and his kingdom. Before leaving, he asked his three ministers to take good care of his queen and all his affairs during his absence. All three pronounced their loyalty. That night, when the queen was deep asleep the king placed a sharp blade inside her because he didn't trust his three ministers. The following week, the king returned and summoned his three ministers to the palace. He ordered all three to strip. To the king's surprise, two of them were penisless and the third was fine. The two unfaithful ministers were immediately executed. The king praised the third minister for his loyalty and asked him what he wished. "Aaaah, aaaaaaaaah," he replied.
Vote: has 74.87 % from 132 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dirty, political, sex
It's a slow day in heaven, so St. Peter decides to show a new guy around. St. Peter shows him all of the sights: the golf course, library, observation deck, cafeteria and a huge room full of clocks. "What's up with those clocks, Peter?" "Everyone on Earth has a clock that shows how much time he has left. When a clock runs out of time, the person dies and comes to the gates to be judged." The guy notices that some of the clocks are going faster than others. St. Peter tells him that every time a living person tells a lie, it speeds up his clock. The guy notices one clock in the center of the ceiling with both hands whirling around at an unbelievable rate. "What's the story with that clock?" "Oh, that," St. Peter replies. That's George W. Bush's clock. We decided to use it as a fan."
Vote: has 74.86 % from 159 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, golf, heaven, political
Hilary Clinton, George Bush, Sarkozy, a boy and a monk were stuck on a plane that is falling fast. They are 5 but there are only 4 parachutes. Hilary said "I'm a woman, you cant leave a woman on a plane to die" so she took one and jumped. Bush said "I'm the smartest in the world, every one needs me" he took one and jumped. Sarkozy blabbed something in french that no one understood, he took one and jumped. The monk tells the boy "You take the last parachute, let me die" the boy said "Why? We can both jump." "How is that?" said the monk. The boy replies, "Because the so called smartest man Bush took my school bag and jumped!"
Vote: has 74.72 % from 42 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: airplane, life, political, school