The best prison jokes

A lawyer defending a man accused of burglary tried this creative defense: "My client merely inserted his arm into the window and removed a few trifling articles. His arm is not himself, and I fail to see how you can punish the whole individual for an offence committed by his limb." "Well put," the judge replied. "Using your logic, I sentence the defendant's arm to one year's imprisonment. He can accompany it or not, as he chooses." The defendant smiled. With his lawyer's assistance he detached his artificial limb, laid it on the bench, and walked out.
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has 53.18 % from 26 votes. More jokes about: lawyer, prison
Q: What did the pedophile say when he was released from prison? A: "I feel like a kid again."
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has 53.10 % from 103 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, kids, prison
Q: What's the scariest thing about a white man in prison? A: You know that he actually did it.
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has 51.81 % from 54 votes. More jokes about: prison, white people
A prisoner at the Edmonton Max started training a large fly to do tricks. For years, for thousands of hours, he worked with the insect. It learned to walk across a miniature high wire, ride a tiny one-wheel bike, balance on a pair of stilts and sing songs from Phantom of the opera. "When you and I get out of here," the jailbird said to the fly "we’re going to tour the nightspots and make a fortune." Finally the day arrived. Fly safely tucked away in his pocket, (inside its matchbox home), the ex-con made his way to a bar to celebrate. At the bar, he brought out his trick fly. On cue, it started moonwalking. "What about this fly, eh?" he said to the bartender. In one swift motion, the bartender reached for his copy of the newspaper The edmonton sun, rolled it up and squished the fly with a mighty swipe. "Glad you saw it," muttered the bartender. "Blasted things are everywhere."
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has 51.61 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: alcohol, animal, music, prison, work
Q: Why was the man arrested for looking at sets of dentures in a dentist's window? A: Because it was against the law to pick your teeth in public.
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has 50.70 % from 17 votes. More jokes about: dentist, prison
There was a crooked woman, who ran a crooked mile. She found a crooked Weiner, who always made her smile. She belongs in prison, for she is just a crook. And if you don't believe me, you can read it in her book.
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has 50.29 % from 29 votes. More jokes about: communication, poems, prison, women
Johny is the first day in jail in the cell with one mighty and a crazy prisoner and this crazy prisoner tells Johny: "You probably do not know that on the first day must every new prisoner must pass over the so-called welcome´s ceremonial. Ok, so I ask you directly. Do you want it with cream or without the cream?" Johny says: "I want it with creme, of course." The crazy prisoner yells and says: "Cremo, come here, please."
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has 46.70 % from 20 votes. More jokes about: dirty, gay, little Johnny, prison, sex
What does a nigger do after sex? 25 years to life.
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has 46.32 % from 101 votes. More jokes about: black people, prison, racist, sex, time
Q. What do prisoners use to call each other? A. Cell phones.
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has 44.88 % from 139 votes. More jokes about: phone, prison
Why did the basketball player go to jail? "Because he shot the ball!"
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has 43.61 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: game, prison, sport
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