The best relationship jokes

Maths teacher: "If you have 12 chocolates and you give 5 to Priya, 3 to Sonia and 2 to Penny then what will you get?" "3 new Girlfriends!"
Vote: has 78.22 % from 302 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, relationship, school, teacher
Relationship Status: just tried to reach for my dog's paw and he pulled it away so I pretended I was reaching for the remote.
Vote: has 78.03 % from 37 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dog, relationship, single
What does the cannibal do just after he dumped his girlfriend? Wiped his ass.
Vote: has 77.79 % from 145 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, disgusting, food, relationship
My girlfriend always wanted to know the future job of her baby; so the other day when we were making sex suddenly she farted. I told her: "Your baby will be a bugler."
Vote: has 77.47 % from 153 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: baby, fart, relationship, sex, work
If you need to break up with somebody, the best place to do so is McDonalds. There are no plates or glasses to be broken over your head, no sharp knives or spiky forks, plus you can always hide behind a fat kid.
Vote: has 77.02 % from 63 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: business, fat, food, kids, relationship
Q: What do two rednecks say after breaking up? A: Lets just be cousins.
Vote: has 76.77 % from 78 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: family, redneck, relationship
Today was a terrible day. My ex got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver.
Vote: has 76.59 % from 67 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, death, morbid, relationship, work
My girlfriend is like February 30th, she doesn't exist.
Vote: has 76.32 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: insulting, relationship, time
2 boys searching for their lost girlfriends: 1st: How your girlfriend look like? 2nd: 5'6, hot, sexy, blue eyes... what about yours? 1st: Forget about mine.. lets search for yours.
Vote: has 76.27 % from 45 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men, relationship
A guy was stranded on a desert island with Heidi Klum. Initially, he played it cool, not making any moves on her for several weeks. Finally, he asked her if they could start a physical relationship, so as to attend to each other's needs. Heidi was game and a very nice sexual relationship began.  After several months, the guy approached Heidi and said, "I have a problem. It's kind of a guy thing, but I need to ask you a favour." Heidi replied, "Okay," to which he asked, "Can I borrow your eyebrow pencil?" Heidi looked at him in confusion, but obliged.  The guy then asked, "Do you mind if I use the eyebrow pencil to draw a mustache on you?" Heidi was growing worried, but again obliged, so the guy drew a mustache on her.  Then the guy said, "Can you wear some of my clothes? I need for you to look more like a man." Heidi was becoming disappointed at this point, but hesitantly put on his clothes.  Finally, the guy said to Heidi, "Do you mind if I call you Phil?" Heidi had now become very dejected, and said "No, I guess not, you can call me Phil." So, the guy reached out and grabbed Heidi by the arms and shouted "Phil, you'll never believe who I'm fucking!"
Vote: has 75.33 % from 270 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: desert island, game, relationship, sex