My girlfriend has incredible sexual skills.
I almost had a heart attack when I saw the video!
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My girlfriend is like February 30th, she doesn't exist.
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Roger, who was 19 years old, was buying an expensive bracelet, to surprise his girlfriend on Valentine's Day, at a very smart jeweller's shop in Hatton Garden, London.
The jeweller inquired, "Would you like your girlfriend's name engraved on it?"
Roger thought for a moment, grinned, then answered, "No, instead engrave 'To my one and only love'."
The jeweller smiled and said, "Yes, sir; how very romantic of you."
Roger retorted with a glint in his eye, "Not exactly romantic, but very practical. This way, if we break up, I can use it again."
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Joke has 70.91 % from 121 votes. More jokes about: love, mean, relationship, romantic, Valentines day
Young kids use a dating app on their phones.
Older kids use a dating website on their computers.
Adults use a matchmaking service to get dates.
Senior citizens meet potential dates at church events.
Anyone older than that will have to resort to carbon dating.
Bro, send me some good jokes.
Sorry, now I'm busy with my Girlfriend.
Good One! Send me more.
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I hear Taylor Swift's ex boyfriends are collabing on a new single called "Maybe You're The Problem".
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A young Scottish lad and lassie were sitting on a low stone wall, holding hands, and just gazing out over the loch.
For several minutes they sat silently, then finally the girl looked at the boy and said, "A penny for your thoughts, Angus."
"Well, uh, I was thinkin'... perhaps it's aboot time for a wee kiss."
The girl blushed, then leaned over and kissed him lightly on the cheek.
Then he blushed.
Then the two turned once again to gaze out over the loch.
After a while the girl spoke again.
"Another penny for your thoughts, Angus."
The young man knit his brow.
"Well, now," he said, "my thoughts are a bit more serious this time."
"Really?" said the girl in a whisper, filled with anticipation.
"Aye," said the lad. "Din'na ye think it's aboot time ye paid me that first penny?"
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A boyfriend asks his girlfriend:
"What gift would you like to receive during the St. Valentine's Day?"
"Well, I don't know" she answers shyly.
"OK, that I give you another year to think about it…"
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An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress.
The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring relationship.
The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because of the passion and mystery he found there.
The engineer said, "I like both."
"Both?"
Engineer: "Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each assume you are spending time with the other woman, and you can go to the plant and get some work done."
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Girlfriend: "I'm sick of you pretending you're a detective. We should split."
Me: "Good idea. We can cover more ground that way."
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