The best relationship jokes

My girlfriend is like February 30th, she doesn't exist.
Vote: has 75.00 % from 15 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: insulting, relationship, time
Josey wasn't the best pupil at Sunday school. She often fell asleep and one day while she was sleeping, the teacher asked her a question. "Who is the creator of the universe?" Joe was sitting next to Josey and decided to poke her with a pin to wake her up. Josey jumped and yelled, "God almighty!" The teacher congratulated her. A little later the teacher asked her another question, "Tell me who is our lord and savior?" Joe poked Josey again and she yelled out, "Jesus Christ!" The teacher congratulated her again. Later on the teacher asked, "What did Eve say to Adam after their 26th child?" Joe poked Josey again and she shouted, "If you stick that thing in me again, I'll snap it in half and stick it up your ass!"
Vote: has 74.27 % from 102 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: christian, dirty, relationship, sex, student
A boyfriend asks his girlfriend: "What gift would you like to receive during the St. Valentine's Day?" "Well, I don't know" she answers shyly. "OK, that I give you another year to think about it…"
Vote: has 74.14 % from 36 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men, relationship, time, Valentines day
Why fall in love when you can fall asleep?
Vote: has 73.68 % from 45 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: love, relationship, single
The fingers of my girlfriend were in my pants; I asked her "Is it thick?" She said "yes dear." Again I asked: "Is it warm?" She replied: "yes honey." Then I asked: "Is it soft?" She said, "yes of course." "It is my shit!" I told her.
Vote: has 72.83 % from 109 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: communication, dirty, disgusting, relationship, sex
Q: Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good-looking? A: They already have boyfriends.
Vote: has 72.32 % from 160 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men, relationship
Boyfriend: Do you think my salary is sufficient for you? Girlfriend: It’s sufficient for me but how will you survive?
Vote: has 72.13 % from 527 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: relationship, women
Half dressed redneck couple sitting on a couch watching the news on TV with man's arm around the woman. The man says "Lookit them homo-sekshuls a ruining the sanctity of our institution. "We oughta go to San Francisco just to show them liberals that marriage means one man, one woman. " "Right, Darlin." The woman replies, "That's right, Daddy."
Vote: has 70.84 % from 27 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: couple, family, redneck, relationship, travel
The government shutdown has officially lasted longer than any of Taylor Swift's relationships.
Vote: has 70.43 % from 31 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, political, relationship
I broke up with my Japanese girlfriend today. I had to drop the bomb two or three times before she finally got it.
Vote: has 69.95 % from 71 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, death, relationship, terrorist