The best relationship jokes

A boyfriend asks his girlfriend: "What gift would you like to receive during the St. Valentine's Day?" "Well, I don't know" she answers shyly. "OK, that I give you another year to think about it…"
Vote: has 75.38 % from 38 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: men, relationship, time, Valentines day
At the court of a small provincial town, a lawyer calls his first witness, an old woman around 80 and he asks her with a professional style: "Do you know me, Mrs. Rowland?" "Of course, I know you Mr. Smith! says the old woman. I know you since you were little, and I have to confess that I am very disappointed in you. You lie, you cheat on your wife repeatedly, you gossip about your clients. Of course, I know you!" Speechless, by the unexpected answer, the lawyer points with his finger on the other side of the court room and says: "Do you know the defense lawyer?" "Oh, yes! I know Mr. Soft as well. I was holding him in my arms when he was a baby, and I can say that I am disappointed in him, too. He’s a drunk and a gamester. He finds it hard to develop a normal relationship with anyone and he is one of the worst lawyers of our town!" At that point, the Chairman interrupts the process and demands from the two lawyers to approach the bench. When they do, he bends over and whispers to them: "If any of you jerks, asks if she knows me, you’re screwed!"
Vote: has 75.23 % from 92 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: dirty, drunk, lawyer, relationship, wife
"I'm sorry for throwing red wine over all your dresses in the wardrobe last night," I told my girlfriend. "I've spent all day getting the stains out just to show how much you mean to me." "Oh, that's really nice," she said. "What did you use to remove the stains?" "Scissors," I replied.
Vote: has 74.97 % from 21 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: communication, mean, relationship, wine
Why fall in love when you can fall asleep?
Vote: has 73.80 % from 50 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: love, relationship, single
Josey wasn't the best pupil at Sunday school. She often fell asleep and one day while she was sleeping, the teacher asked her a question. "Who is the creator of the universe?" Joe was sitting next to Josey and decided to poke her with a pin to wake her up. Josey jumped and yelled, "God almighty!" The teacher congratulated her. A little later the teacher asked her another question, "Tell me who is our lord and savior?" Joe poked Josey again and she yelled out, "Jesus Christ!" The teacher congratulated her again. Later on the teacher asked, "What did Eve say to Adam after their 26th child?" Joe poked Josey again and she shouted, "If you stick that thing in me again, I'll snap it in half and stick it up your ass!"
Vote: has 72.87 % from 126 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: christian, dirty, relationship, sex, student
The government shutdown has officially lasted longer than any of Taylor Swift's relationships.
Vote: has 72.77 % from 34 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: life, political, relationship
Q: Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good-looking? A: They already have boyfriends.
Vote: has 72.32 % from 160 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: men, relationship
Boyfriend: Do you think my salary is sufficient for you? Girlfriend: It’s sufficient for me but how will you survive?
Vote: has 72.09 % from 530 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: relationship, women
A couple have not been getting along for years, so the husband thinks, "I'll buy my wife a cemetery plot for her birthday." Well, you can imagine her disappointment. The next year, her birthday rolls around again and this time he doesn't get her anything. She says, "Why didn't you get me a birthday present!?" He replies, "You didn't use what I got you last year!"
Vote: has 72.04 % from 33 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: birthday, black humor, relationship, time
My girlfriend admitted to me she was once a Christian, so I immediately broke up with her. It may come across as judgmental, but really, I've only ever known and loved her as Christine.
Vote: has 71.52 % from 23 votes. Send joke:
More jokes about: christian, relationship