The best relationship jokes

My girlfriend is like February 30th, she doesn't exist.
Vote: has 73.52 % from 14 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: insulting, relationship, time
Q: Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good-looking? A: They already have boyfriends.
Vote: has 72.32 % from 160 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: men, relationship
Boyfriend: Do you think my salary is sufficient for you? Girlfriend: It’s sufficient for me but how will you survive?
Vote: has 72.13 % from 527 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: relationship, women
The government shutdown has officially lasted longer than any of Taylor Swift's relationships.
Vote: has 69.55 % from 30 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: life, political, relationship
A kid walks up to his teacher and says "When is lunch." The teacher said "When its my break." "Your break for what? the kid asks. "My break up" the teacher said.
Vote: has 69.19 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: food, kids, relationship, teacher, time
My girlfriend admitted to me she was once a Christian, so I immediately broke up with her. It may come across as judgmental, but really, I've only ever known and loved her as Christine.
Vote: has 69.19 % from 21 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: christian, relationship
I hear Taylor Swift's ex boyfriends are collabing on a new single called "Maybe You're The Problem".
Vote: has 68.63 % from 29 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: celebrity, men, music, relationship
One woman to another at a singles bar: “I’m not as optimistic about relationships as I used to be. These days, when I meet a man, I ask myself, 'Is this the guy I want my children to spend every other weekend with?'”
Vote: has 68.45 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, bar, relationship
Mike: "Hey Joe. My girl friend always gets offended whenever I tell her jokes about bald people." Joe: "Is your girl friend bald?" Mike: "No. She"s a blonde."
Vote: has 67.81 % from 11 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, friendship, insulting, relationship, stupid
Today was a terrible day. My ex got hit by a bus, and I lost my job as a bus driver.
Vote: has 67.68 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, death, morbid, relationship, work