The best relationship jokes

Q: What do two rednecks say after breaking up? A: Lets just be cousins.
Vote: has 70.02 % from 39 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: family, redneck, relationship
My girlfriend is like February 30th, she doesn't exist.
Vote: has 69.96 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: insulting, relationship, time
One woman to another at a singles bar: “I’m not as optimistic about relationships as I used to be. These days, when I meet a man, I ask myself, 'Is this the guy I want my children to spend every other weekend with?'”
Vote: has 68.45 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: alcohol, bar, relationship
Me: "I'm so lonely." Person: "Hey!" Me: "Leave me alone."
Vote: has 68.45 % from 16 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: relationship, single
"What happened to your girlfriend, that really cute math student?" "She no longer is my girlfriend. I caught her cheating on me." "I don't believe that she cheated on you!" "Well, a couple of nights ago I called her on the phone, and she told me that she was in bed wrestling with three unknowns..."
Vote: has 64.03 % from 84 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: math, phone, relationship, student
I've spent the past two years looking for my ex-girlfriend's killer... but no one will do it.
Vote: has 63.66 % from 28 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: relationship, time, women
I broke up with my Japanese girlfriend today. I had to drop the bomb two or three times before she finally got it.
Vote: has 62.88 % from 34 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: black humor, death, relationship, terrorist
A young Scottish lad and lassie were sitting on a low stone wall, holding hands, and just gazing out over the loch. For several minutes they sat silently, then finally the girl looked at the boy and said, "A penny for your thoughts, Angus." "Well, uh, I was thinkin'... perhaps it's aboot time for a wee kiss." The girl blushed, then leaned over and kissed him lightly on the cheek. Then he blushed. Then the two turned once again to gaze out over the loch. After a while the girl spoke again. "Another penny for your thoughts, Angus." The young man knit his brow. "Well, now," he said, "my thoughts are a bit more serious this time." "Really?" said the girl in a whisper, filled with anticipation. "Aye," said the lad. "Din'na ye think it's aboot time ye paid me that first penny?"
Vote: has 62.22 % from 20 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: money, relationship
"Does she have a boyfriend?" "Yes, a cute, strong and clever one." "What's the name?" "John, Michael and Bill."
Vote: has 61.63 % from 23 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: relationship, women
Q: How can you tell if your girlfriend really likes you? A: If you stick your hand in her pants and it feels like you're feeding a horse.
Vote: has 61.59 % from 39 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: animal, dirty, relationship, sex