The best religious jokes

A young teacher explains to her class of third graders that she is a born-again Christian. She asks the class if any of them are born-again Christians too. Not really knowing what it means to be born-again, but wanting to please and impress their teacher, many little hands suddenly shot up into the air. There's just one girl who doesn't raise her hand. So the teacher asks her why she has decided to be different. The girl says, "Because I'm not a Christian." The teacher asks, "So what are you then? " The girl replies, "I'm an atheist." The teacher's a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks the girl why she's an atheist. The girl says, "It's just that my family isn't religious. My Mom's atheist, and my Dad's atheist, so I'm atheist."rnrnThe teacher is now angry. " That's no reason." she says loudly. "What if your Mom was a moron, and your Dad was a moron. What would you be then?" "Then," says the girl, "I'd be a born-again Christian."
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has 64.67 % from 189 votes. More jokes about: atheist, Christmas, kids, religious, teacher
A well known TV Evangelists is booking into a posh hotel. He tells the duty manager, "I hope the porn channel is set to disabled" The manager looks at him and replies, "No, it's regular porn, you sick bastard!"
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has 64.28 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: dirty, holiday, management, religious
Your mama so old she sat next to Moses in the second grade.
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has 63.82 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: age, religious, school, Yo mama
Guy gets pulled over in his car by a pair of dudes in balaclavas, pointing guns in his face. Terrorist (menacing voice): "Are you a Catholic or a Protestant?" Driver, panicking, doesn't know which answer will save his life, has a bright idea. Driver: "Neither, actually. In fact I'm Jewish." Terrorist shouts to other terrorist: "Fucking hell Abdul, we've got one at last!"
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has 63.55 % from 156 votes. More jokes about: car, jewish, life, religious, terrorist
Knew a Muslim kid in college who was notorious for being late to everything. We called him 9/12.
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has 60.80 % from 186 votes. More jokes about: college, religious, terrorist, time
A Saudi prince recently requested that naked statues be covered up while visiting Rome. Apparently his 9 year old wife found them offensive.
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has 60.66 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: age, dirty, religious, wife
Yo' Mama's cooking is so bad, your family prays after they eat.
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has 59.75 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: family, food, religious, Yo mama
What happened when the cannibal got a religion? He only ate Catholics on Fridays!
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has 58.98 % from 42 votes. More jokes about: black humor, catholic, religious, time
Q: What's the difference between Jesus Christ and a painting of Jesus Christ? A: It only takes one nail to hang a painting.
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has 57.83 % from 84 votes. More jokes about: black humor, god, religious
Q: What do you call Bin Laden when he lost his virginity? A: Osama Bin Laiden.
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has 55.78 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, religious, sex