The best religious jokes

Guy gets pulled over in his car by a pair of dudes in balaclavas, pointing guns in his face. Terrorist (menacing voice): "Are you a Catholic or a Protestant?" Driver, panicking, doesn't know which answer will save his life, has a bright idea. Driver: "Neither, actually. In fact I'm Jewish." Terrorist shouts to other terrorist: "Fucking hell Abdul, we've got one at last!"
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has 64.16 % from 171 votes. More jokes about: car, jewish, life, religious, terrorist
A Saudi prince recently requested that naked statues be covered up while visiting Rome. Apparently his 9 year old wife found them offensive.
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has 63.81 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: age, dirty, religious, wife
A young teacher explains to her class of third graders that she is a born-again Christian. She asks the class if any of them are born-again Christians too. Not really knowing what it means to be born-again, but wanting to please and impress their teacher, many little hands suddenly shot up into the air. There's just one girl who doesn't raise her hand. So the teacher asks her why she has decided to be different. The girl says, "Because I'm not a Christian." The teacher asks, "So what are you then? " The girl replies, "I'm an atheist." The teacher's a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks the girl why she's an atheist. The girl says, "It's just that my family isn't religious. My Mom's atheist, and my Dad's atheist, so I'm atheist."rnrnThe teacher is now angry. " That's no reason." she says loudly. "What if your Mom was a moron, and your Dad was a moron. What would you be then?" "Then," says the girl, "I'd be a born-again Christian."
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has 63.09 % from 204 votes. More jokes about: atheist, Christmas, kids, religious, teacher
Sex is bad Sex is a sin Sins are forgiven So stick it in.
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has 62.94 % from 168 votes. More jokes about: poems, religious, sex
Your mama so old she sat next to Moses in the second grade.
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has 61.71 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: age, religious, school, Yo mama
Knew a Muslim kid in college who was notorious for being late to everything. We called him 9/12.
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has 61.39 % from 189 votes. More jokes about: college, religious, terrorist, time
Yo' Mama's cooking is so bad, your family prays after they eat.
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has 59.75 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: family, food, religious, Yo mama
What happened when the cannibal got a religion? He only ate Catholics on Fridays!
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has 58.26 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: black humor, catholic, religious, time
Q: What's the difference between Jesus Christ and a painting of Jesus Christ? A: It only takes one nail to hang a painting.
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has 57.83 % from 84 votes. More jokes about: black humor, god, religious
Religion is a lot more like politics. The only difference is that with religion you get to confess your own sins.
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has 56.36 % from 31 votes. More jokes about: life, political, religious