The best religious jokes

A young teacher explains to her class of third graders that she is a born-again Christian. She asks the class if any of them are born-again Christians too. Not really knowing what it means to be born-again, but wanting to please and impress their teacher, many little hands suddenly shot up into the air. There's just one girl who doesn't raise her hand. So the teacher asks her why she has decided to be different. The girl says, "Because I'm not a Christian." The teacher asks, "So what are you then? " The girl replies, "I'm an atheist." The teacher's a little perturbed now, her face slightly red. She asks the girl why she's an atheist. The girl says, "It's just that my family isn't religious. My Mom's atheist, and my Dad's atheist, so I'm atheist."rnrnThe teacher is now angry. " That's no reason." she says loudly. "What if your Mom was a moron, and your Dad was a moron. What would you be then?" "Then," says the girl, "I'd be a born-again Christian."
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has 65.72 % from 176 votes. More jokes about: atheist, Christmas, kids, religious, teacher
An elderly rabbi was once on an airplane to Israel sitting next to a self-professed atheist. They were amicably chatting the whole trip. Every now and then, the rabbi's grandchild, sitting in another row, would come over to him, bringing him a drink, or asking if he could get anything to make him more comfortable. After this happened several times, the atheist sighed, "I wish my grandchildren would treat me with such respect. They hardly even say hello to me. What's your secret?" The rabbi replied: "Think about it. To my grandchildren, I am two generations closer to Adam and Eve, the two individuals made by the hand of G‑d. So they look up to me. But according to the philosophy which you teach your grandchildren, you are two generations closer to being an ape. So why should they look up to you?"
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has 64.50 % from 120 votes. More jokes about: airplane, god, jewish, religious, travel
Guy gets pulled over in his car by a pair of dudes in balaclavas, pointing guns in his face. Terrorist (menacing voice): "Are you a Catholic or a Protestant?" Driver, panicking, doesn't know which answer will save his life, has a bright idea. Driver: "Neither, actually. In fact I'm Jewish." Terrorist shouts to other terrorist: "Fucking hell Abdul, we've got one at last!"
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has 64.50 % from 148 votes. More jokes about: car, jewish, life, religious, terrorist
Sex is bad Sex is a sin Sins are forgiven So stick it in.
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has 63.81 % from 142 votes. More jokes about: poems, religious, sex
A well known TV Evangelists is booking into a posh hotel. He tells the duty manager, "I hope the porn channel is set to disabled" The manager looks at him and replies, "No, it's regular porn, you sick bastard!"
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has 62.91 % from 47 votes. More jokes about: dirty, holiday, management, religious
A Saudi prince recently requested that naked statues be covered up while visiting Rome. Apparently his 9 year old wife found them offensive.
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has 60.69 % from 38 votes. More jokes about: age, dirty, religious, wife
What happened when the cannibal got a religion? He only ate Catholics on Fridays!
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has 60.66 % from 41 votes. More jokes about: black humor, catholic, religious, time
Yo' Mama's cooking is so bad, your family prays after they eat.
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has 58.58 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: family, food, religious, Yo mama
Q: What's the difference between Jesus Christ and a painting of Jesus Christ? A: It only takes one nail to hang a painting.
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has 58.46 % from 80 votes. More jokes about: black humor, god, religious
Q: What do you call Bin Laden when he lost his virginity? A: Osama Bin Laiden.
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has 55.78 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: communication, dirty, religious, sex