The best school jokes

“Dad, can you write in the dark?” “I think so. What is it you want me to write?” “Your name on this report card.”
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has 73.35 % from 179 votes. More jokes about: school
Teacher: Name two days of the week that start with "t". Pupil: Today and Tomorrow.
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has 73.31 % from 49 votes. More jokes about: school
The teacher asked Willy, "If you have seven cookies and Billy asks you for three, how many cookies have been left with you?" Willy immediately answered, "Seven!"
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has 73.29 % from 220 votes. More jokes about: math, school, teacher
One morning a boy walks in to class late His substitute teacher asks him "Where have you been" He replies "Throwing pebbles at a car" 15 minutes later a girl walks in the teacher asks 'where have you been' she answers "throwing pebbles at a car" 2 hours later a young girl comes in all bruised and dirty the teacher asks "Let me guess you were throwing pebbles at a car" she answers "No miss, I am pebbles"
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has 73.26 % from 277 votes. More jokes about: car, school, time
After twelve years of carrying books to school, you're well prepared for a career in backpacking.
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has 73.13 % from 44 votes. More jokes about: graduation, school, time, work
Teacher: What makes you see? Bobyjack: My eyes, my nose and my ears. Teacher: True for the eyes but why for your ears and nose? Bobyjack: It's to hold my glasses!
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has 73.01 % from 62 votes. More jokes about: school
Jordan: My teacher says I have to write more clearly. Mom: That’s a good idea, Jordan. Jordan: No, it’s not. Then she’ll know I can’t spell.
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has 73.01 % from 84 votes. More jokes about: school
Father: Son this time, you have to score 90% marks in your exams. Son: No father I'll score 100% marks. Father: Why are you kidding? Son: Who started?
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has 72.84 % from 66 votes. More jokes about: school
An Ohio State University mortician student walked into the embalming room where a cadaver was lying on the table. Confident that he knew enough now to begin the procedure without his instructor, he began to examine the body. When he rolled it over, he was shocked to see a cork in the man's butt. Mystified, he pulled it out and immediately heard the University of Michigan fight song come out of the guy's butt. Shaken by what had happened, he quickly shoved the cork back into it's original resting place. He then ran to get his instructor, nervously shouting, "Sir, you must come, you won't believe what I discovered!" Annoyed by the interruption, the professor said, "Let's take a look at this astounding discovery." When they entered the morgue, the teacher was also surprised to see the cork, so he approached the table and promptly removed the cork. Upon hearing the University of Michigan fight song, he quickly replaced the cork in the cadaver's butt and said, "What's so surprising about that? I've heard thousands of assholes sing that song!"
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has 72.80 % from 79 votes. More jokes about: disgusting, music, school, student
Miss Jones had been giving her second-grade students a lesson on science. She had explained about magnets and showed how they would pick up nails and other bits of iron. Now it was question time, and she asked, “My name begins with the letter ‘M’ and I pick up things. What am I?” A little boy on the front row proudly said, “You’re a mother!”
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has 72.79 % from 57 votes. More jokes about: school, science
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