The best school jokes

Chuck Norris went to school so he could be studied.
Vote: has 72.63 % from 29 votes. Send joke:

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Chuck Norris graduated from the School of Hard Knocks with an MBA - Mega Bad Ass.
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Did you hear about the blonde who brought her cosmetics with her for a make-up exam?
Vote: has 72.56 % from 24 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: beauty, blonde, school, stupid
Teacher: What makes you see? Bobyjack: My eyes, my nose and my ears. Teacher: True for the eyes but why for your ears and nose? Bobyjack: It's to hold my glasses!
Vote: has 72.54 % from 52 votes. Send joke:

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A Sunday School teacher of pre-schoolers was concerned that his students might be a little confused about Jesus Christ because of the Christmas season emphasis on His birth. He wanted to make sure they understood that the birth of Jesus occurred a long time ago, that He grew up, etc. So he asked his class, "Where is Jesus today?" Steven raised his hand and said, "He’s in heaven." Mary was called on and answered, "He’s in my heart." Little Johnny, waving his hand furiously, blurted out, "I know! I know! He’s in our bathroom!" The whole class got very quiet, looked at the teacher, and waited for a response. The teacher was completely at a loss for a few very long seconds. He finally gathered his wits and asked Little Johnny how he knew this. And Little Johnny said, "Well… every morning, my father gets up, bangs on the bathroom door, and yells 'Jesus Christ, are you still in there?'"
Vote: has 72.39 % from 103 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: god, little Johnny, school, student, teacher
Teacher: Name two days of the week that start with "t". Pupil: Today and Tomorrow.
Vote: has 71.97 % from 42 votes. Send joke:

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One day the kids in Ms. Evans science class was disagreeing with her. Ms. Evans was talking about evolution. Ms. Evans was and atheist so she didn't believe in God. Then Johnny raised his hand and said, "But I thought God created mankind?" Ms. Evans then replied, "Well can you see God?" "No." "Hear God?" "No." "Feel God?" "No." This went on for quite a while. "Well then God doesn't exist." Then Johnny whispered back to his friend Jimmy, "Can you see Ms. Evan's brain. No, so that must not exist."
Vote: has 71.81 % from 149 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: atheist, god, insulting, little Johnny, school
Father: Son this time, you have to score 90% marks in your exams. Son: No father I'll score 100% marks. Father: Why are you kidding? Son: Who started?
Vote: has 71.74 % from 59 votes. Send joke:

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Q: What comes before 8? A: My school bus usually.
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Hilary Clinton, George Bush, Sarkozy, a boy and a monk were stuck on a plane that is falling fast. They are 5 but there are only 4 parachutes. Hilary said "I'm a woman, you cant leave a woman on a plane to die" so she took one and jumped. Bush said "I'm the smartest in the world, every one needs me" he took one and jumped. Sarkozy blabbed something in french that no one understood, he took one and jumped. The monk tells the boy "You take the last parachute, let me die" the boy said "Why? We can both jump." "How is that?" said the monk. The boy replies, "Because the so called smartest man Bush took my school bag and jumped!"
Vote: has 71.72 % from 46 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: airplane, life, political, school