The best school jokes

The teacher said to Danny: "Why are you in the floor?" Danny said: "Because you said to do this Math problem without Tables."
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has 73.69 % from 104 votes. More jokes about: school
1. Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a well-lighted place with plenty of freshly sharpened pencils. 2. Read over the assignment carefully, to make certain you understand it. 3. Walk down to the vending machines and buy some coffee to help you concentrate. 4. Stop off at another floor, on the way back and visit with your friend from class. If your friend hasn't started the paper yet either, you can both walk to McDonalds and buy a hamburger to help you concentrate. If your friend shows you his paper, typed, double-spaced, and bound in one of those irritating see-through plastic folders, drop him. 5. When you get back to your room, sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a clean, well-lighted place with plenty of freshly sharpened pencils. 6. Read over the assignment again to make absolutely certain you understand it. 7. You know, you haven't written to that kid you met at camp since fourth grade. You'd better write that letter now and get it out of the way so you can concentrate. 8. Go look at your teeth in the bathroom mirror. 9. Listen to one side of your favorite tape and that's it- I mean it! As soon as it's over you are going to start that paper. 10. Listen to the other side. 11. Rearrange all of your CDs into alphabetical order. 12. Phone your friend on the other floor and ask if he's started writing yet. Exchange derogatory remarks about your teacher, the course, the university, and the world at large. 13. Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a clean, well-lighted place with plenty of freshly sharpened pencils. 14. Read over the assignment again; roll the words across your tongue; savor its special flavor. 15. Check the newspaper listings to make sure you aren't missing something truly worthwhile on TV. NOTE: When you have a paper due in less than 12 hours, anything on TV from Masterpiece Theater to Sgt. Preston of the Yukon, is truly worthwhile. 16. Catch the last hour of Soul Brother of Kung Fu on channel 26. 17. Phone your friend on the third floor to see if he was watching. Discuss the finer points of the plot. 18. Go look at your tongue in the bathroom mirror. 19. Look through your roommate's book of pictures from home. Ask who everyone is. 20. Sit down and do some serious thinking about your plans for the future. 21. Open your door and check to see if there are any mysterious, trench-coated strangers lurking in the hall. 22. Sit in a straight, comfortable chair in a clean, well-lighted place with plenty of freshly sharpened pencils. 23. Read over the assignment one more time, just for the heck of it. 24. Scoot your chair across the room to the window and watch the sunrise. 25. Lie face down on the floor and scream at the top of your lungs. 26. Leap up and write the paper. 27. Type the paper. 28. Complain to everyone that you didn't get any sleep because you had to write the paper.
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has 73.68 % from 45 votes. More jokes about: friendship, school, student, time, work
I don’t want to go to school,” said a son to his father. “Why not,” asked the father. “I don’t feel well.” “Where don’t you feel well,” the father asked. “At school!”
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has 73.59 % from 121 votes. More jokes about: school
You could give me 37 years to do homework and I still wouldn't do it until the night before.
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has 73.56 % from 40 votes. More jokes about: school, student, time, work
A teacher:"John, I hope I won't see you're cheating." John:"Me either."
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has 73.53 % from 25 votes. More jokes about: school
The teacher asked Willy, "If you have seven cookies and Billy asks you for three, how many cookies have been left with you?" Willy immediately answered, "Seven!"
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has 73.52 % from 222 votes. More jokes about: math, school, teacher
Teacher: “Johnny, what is the outside of a tree called?” Johnny: “I don’t know.” Teacher: “Bark, Johnny, bark.” Johnny: “Bow, wow, wow!”
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has 73.48 % from 205 votes. More jokes about: school
"What shall we play today?" said Florence to her best friend Jenny. "Let's play schools," said Jenny. "OK!" said Florence. "But I'm going to be absent."
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has 73.44 % from 30 votes. More jokes about: friendship, game, school
Nate: Why was school easier for cave people? Kate: Why? Nate: Because there was no history to study!
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has 73.44 % from 328 votes. More jokes about: history, school
Teacher: What makes you see? Bobyjack: My eyes, my nose and my ears. Teacher: True for the eyes but why for your ears and nose? Bobyjack: It's to hold my glasses!
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has 73.41 % from 63 votes. More jokes about: school
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