The best school jokes

Q: How did the pirate get through School? A: By sailing on high C's.
Vote: has 70.02 % from 39 votes. Send joke:

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Q: Would you burn your education certificate for 50 million us dollars? Me: I will burn my certificate, I will burn the school, the nearby schools and even the ministry of education I will also burn all the textbooks.
Vote: has 70.01 % from 17 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: money, school, student
After twelve years of carrying books to school, you're well prepared for a career in backpacking.
Vote: has 69.96 % from 12 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: graduation, school, time, work
A female school teacher comes up to a parent at a parent meeting and says, "You know, your son called me a prostitute!" Dad calls up his son and says: "So this teacher teaches you, helps you, wants you to get good grades and for all that you call her a prostitute?? what do you care about what she does after work?"
Vote: has 69.95 % from 71 votes. Send joke:

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A linguistics professor was lecturing to his class one day. "In English," he said, "A double negative forms a positive. In some languages, though, such as Russian, a double negative is still a negative. However, there is no language wherein a double positive can form a negative." A voice from the back of the room piped up, "Yeah, right."
Vote: has 69.93 % from 43 votes. Send joke:

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Yo mama so dumb,when she got an "F" on her test, she thought it mean Fantastic!
Vote: has 69.86 % from 59 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: school, stupid, Yo mama
One day two girls were trying out for the school cheerleading squad. One was a blonde and one was a brunette. After they both had tryouts, they went home to wait until the results were posted. The blonde goes to see if she made it that night. Once she found out she made it she got out her cell phone and called the brunette, but she didn't answer, so the blonde just went back home. The next day the brunette called the blonde to see if she wanted to go with her to look at their scores. The blonde says sure and meets the brunette at the school. The brunette beats the blonde to the school, so she goes ahead and looks at the scores to find out they both made it. When the blonde gets there, she finds her name on the list again. Then she says, "Yes! I made it again, I made it last night and I made it again today. I am on a roll!"
Vote: has 69.86 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: blonde, phone, school
Johnny's father: "Let me see your report card." Johnny: "I don't have it." Johnny's father: "Why not?" Johnny: My friend just borrowed it. He wants to scare his parents."
Vote: has 69.86 % from 26 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: dad, family, little Johnny, school
"Dad, can you help me find the lowest common denominator in this problem please?" "Don't tell me that they haven't found it yet, I remember looking for it when I was a boy!"
Vote: has 69.82 % from 248 votes. Send joke:

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A college pizza delivery boy arrived at the house of Larry Johnson. He delivered the pizza to his trailer. After giving it to him, Larry asked: “What is the usual tip?” “Well,” replied the youth, “this is my first trip here, but the other guys say if I get a quarter out of you, I’ll be doing great.” “Is that so?” snorted Larry. “Well, just to show them how wrong they are, here’s five dollars.” “Thanks,” replied the youth, “I’ll put this in my school fund.” “What are you studying in school?” asked Larry. The lad smiled and said: “Applied psychology.”
Vote: has 69.58 % from 203 votes. Send joke:

More jokes about: college, money, school