The best school jokes

When I graduated from highschool, I was so poor and couldn't afford college. So my parents sent me to dog training school. I learned a lot when I was there. Sit, stay, roll over. I haven't quite got the fetching part down. They say I'm a little rough around the edges.
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has 67.78 % from 36 votes. More jokes about: family, graduation, money, school, teacher
Q: What do dogs do after they finish obedience school? A: They get their masters.
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has 67.68 % from 24 votes. More jokes about: animal, dog, school
One day the kids in Ms. Evans science class was disagreeing with her. Ms. Evans was talking about evolution. Ms. Evans was and atheist so she didn't believe in God. Then Johnny raised his hand and said, "But I thought God created mankind?" Ms. Evans then replied, "Well can you see God?" "No." "Hear God?" "No." "Feel God?" "No." This went on for quite a while. "Well then God doesn't exist." Then Johnny whispered back to his friend Jimmy, "Can you see Ms. Evan's brain. No, so that must not exist."
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has 67.65 % from 187 votes. More jokes about: atheist, god, insulting, little Johnny, school
Yesterday, I failed my biology exam. The question was: "Name something commonly found in cells." Apparently, Niggers wasn't the right answer.
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has 67.54 % from 313 votes. More jokes about: black people, prison, racist, school
Two college roommates are about to go to bed. The guy in the top bunk has his girlfriend sleeping over. To try and keep quiet, they devise a code. His girlfriend will say "tomato" if she wants him to go slower and "lettuce" for him to go faster. As they begin to have sex, the girl starts to moan, "Lettuce, lettuce, tomato, tomato!" The roommate on the bottom bunk wakes up the next morning and says, "Stop making sandwiches at night. You got mayonnaise in my eye!"
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has 67.34 % from 43 votes. More jokes about: school
A college Professor, an avowed Atheist, was teaching his class. He shocked several of his students when he flatly stated he was going to prove there is no God. Addressing the ceiling he shouted: "God, if you are real, then I want you to knock me off this platform. I'll give you 15 minutes!" The lecture room fell silent. You could have heard a pin drop. Ten minutes went by. Again the Professor taunted God, saying, "Here I am, God! I'm still waiting!" His count-down got down to the last couple of minutes when a Marine, just released from active duty and newly registered in the class, walked up to the Professor and punched him full-force in the face. The Professor tumbled from his lofty platform, and he was out cold before he hit the floor. At first the students were shocked, and they babbled in confusion. The young Marine took a seat in the front row and sat silently. The class fell silent... waiting. Eventually, the Professor came to. When he finally regained the power of speech, he glared at the young Marine in the front row. "What's the matter with you? Why on earth did you do that?" The Marine smiled. "God was busy. He sent me."
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has 67.33 % from 107 votes. More jokes about: atheist, communication, god, military, school
Q: A brunette, a blonde and a redhead are all in fifth grade. Who has the biggest tits? A: The blonde, because she's 18.
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has 67.32 % from 72 votes. More jokes about: age, blonde, ginger, school
Q: What is the difference between an ISIS boot camp and a local school? A: How should I know? I just fly the drones.
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has 67.20 % from 110 votes. More jokes about: air force, school, terrorist, war
One day in class, the teacher says: "Joe, 'I read, you read' what tense is that?" "Simple Lost tense!"
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has 67.15 % from 39 votes. More jokes about: school, teacher
I wish my grades would smoke weed too so we could both get higher.
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has 66.96 % from 35 votes. More jokes about: school, weed
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