TEACHER : What is further away, Australia or the Moon? Pupil : Australia, you can see the Moon at night.
When Chuck Norris was in middle school, his English teacher assigned an essay: "What is courage?" He received an A+ for turning in a blank page with only his name at the top.
A student called into school as his father in the hopes of getting out of school that day. “My son had the flu and can’t make it to school today,” he said. “Who is this speaking,” said the secretary. "This is my father!”
Dad: "I heard you missed school yesterday." Little Johnny: "Not a bit."
Teacher: Be sure that you go straight home Student: I can't, I live just round the corner!
Why was the cannibal expelled from school? Because he kept buttering up the teacher.
The science teacher lecturing his class in biology said, “Now I’ll show you this frog in my pocket.” He then reached into his pocket and pulled out a chicken sandwich. He looked puzzled for a second, thought deeply, and said, “That’s funny. I distinctly remember eating my lunch.”
Chuck Norris got a perfect SAT score by just putting his name on the paper...
You are so old, you sat next to Jesus in school.
A little kid's in school, taking a true-false test and he's flipping a coin. At the end of the test he's flipping the coin again. The teacher says, "What are you doing?" He says, "Checking my answers."