A student called into school as his father in the hopes of getting out of school that day.
“My son had the flu and can’t make it to school today,” he said.
“Who is this speaking,” said the secretary.
"This is my father!”
Q: Would you burn your education certificate for 50 million us dollars?
Me: I will burn my certificate, I will burn the school, the nearby schools and even the ministry of education I will also burn all the textbooks.
I'll be honest.
I did not graduate at the top of my class.
In fact, I was so close to the bottom, my sheepskin had a tail.
Vote:
One day the kids in Ms. Evans science class was disagreeing with her.
Ms. Evans was talking about evolution.
Ms. Evans was and atheist so she didn't believe in God.
Then Johnny raised his hand and said, "But I thought God created mankind?"
Ms. Evans then replied, "Well can you see God?"
"No."
"Hear God?"
"No."
"Feel God?"
"No."
This went on for quite a while.
"Well then God doesn't exist."
Then Johnny whispered back to his friend Jimmy, "Can you see Ms. Evan's brain. No, so that must not exist."
Vote:
Teacher: Why does the statue of liberty stand in New York harbour?
Pupil: Because it can't sit down!
Little Johnny comes home from his first day of school.
His mother asks, "What did you learn in school today?"
Little Johnny replies, "Not much. They want me back tomorrow.
Vote:
Four high school boys afflicted with spring fever skipped morning classes.
After lunch they reported to the teacher that they had a flat tire.
Much to their relief she smiled and said, "Well, you missed a test today so take seats apart from one another and take out a piece of paper."
Still smiling, she waited for them to sit down.
Then she said, "First Question was which tire was flat?"
Malcolm: Miss Wilson can I go to the loo?
Miss Wilson: In two minutes Malcolm. Do your alphabet first.
Malcolm: Ok Miss Wilson. abcdefghijklmnoqrstuvwxyz.
Miss Wilson: Very good, Malcolm, but where's the p?
Malcolm: Miss, it's running down my leg!
Vote:
If you majored in fine arts or philosophy, you have good reason to be worried.
The only place you are now really qualified to get a job is in Ancient Greece.
Vote:
One day in class, the teacher says:
"Joe, 'I read, you read' what tense is that?"
"Simple Lost tense!"